The day before the last day of school(a half day which most students don't attend) meant forcing cajoling my 6th period class to stack these desks on one side of the room, so that the carpet could get cleaned during break. So many "responsibilities" that I'm tasked with these past few years are not really in my job description(or contract) and are very out of my comfort zone. Just ask me how many times I've scraped my shins or said bad words when I've tried to stack these desks by myself! Generally, I'm looking forward to summer, although there are many unknowns. Will Alison and Kramer stay together? When will Ashley be home? Will the girls have fun in LA(but not TOO much) for Ashley's Dirty 30 this weekend? And how will the Henry situation work out? (two days with no texts which still makes me a BIT neurotic) Update: A text, but missing his late wife and no date. So, taking a break or possibly over. Sad, but I will go on. His loss. However, I still have to get through tomorrow, which may include the boy whose dad killed himself; he came back to school Monday, which was awkward, but I'm sure he needed his normal routine, after such a devastating event. If you are my Facebook friend, you've already seen Ashley's wise words from last spring, when I was having a tough time with the idea of dating again. I will share them here, with the question: Which button would you click on Facebook: like, love, wow, sad or angry? Just curious!
Love collapses time, folds the past into the present and the future. I learned this when I knew my dad was about to die. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him and how much I would miss him. "Love." "Miss." Two four letter words that we exchange frequently, thoughtlessly, reflexively, as though they were candies being tossed out to a group of children. But what they express is inexpressible. I told him "I love you." I told him, "I'm going to miss you." I didn't tell him, because I did not yet know, "Without you my world will collapse. My life will cease to be what it was. I will be reborn, I will live a new life, I will learn to love that life even though you are not in it. My heart will heal. The pieces will get put back together. New loves, new losses, new excitements will suture it back together. But always there will be a scar from that piece that you took with you when you died." -Ashley Fent
I am delighted to still have my 87 year old father in my life. He is truly amazing. And no, my beloved and very tall brother is not a giant. :)