Reflections

Since we have  a 15 year old daughter, we have become experts at the off-hand question.  Me: So, are you going trick or treating this year? Alison: Of course!  Her dad: Well, are you going to want any pumpkins to carve? (his job since the girls were little) Alison: I want two! What do we make of this teenager/child? Should we be worried that she wants to retain these vestiges of her childhood? Should we be telling her that she's too old to trick or treat? Since she is my "baby" I sometimes wonder if I relish her childlike joy in the season, when I should be making her think about serious issues like the PSAT (she chose not to take it this year) or what she's intending to do for her required Job Shadow. Parenting gives me a multitude of opportunities to second guess myself and my decisions, yet I would rather try to improve than assume that what I am doing is perfect. With children, is there any such thing as totally correct anyway?

Comments

[Tonya]

Ah, I say enjoy her child-likeness. I'll just betcha this will be her last year of wanting to go trick-or-treating. Boys are so different. When Nate was 14/15, he wanted to go with a buddy of his, but I wouldn't let him unless they got truly decked out with costumes. My gut told me that it was more about shenanigans than anything else. Since costuming wasn't "cool", they opted not to, but I found out later that they'd hide behind cars in the friend's neighborhood and scare poor little kids to death. Somebody called the cops and the boys had themselves a talking-to. Jeeze.

[Lisa]

My son still wanted to trick-or-treat at 16, I, however, said, "NOT!" We did pumpkins though until he left home (at age TWENTY).

[Jody]

Nick and Chris got to trick or treat until they got to middle school, after that it they were "too old", at least in our neighborhood. But pumpkins happened until Chris went off to college. And of course I always stock up on candy "just in case", as if anyone was going to trudge all the way down here to ring our doorbell!

[Lisset]

I wish I could go trick or treating. As a matter of fact, I did in that game I play. Wish I could carve pumpkins.

[Laura]

Well, in my opinion (arent you glad you asked? lol)....let her stay "young at heart" for as long as she wants! She can still make adult decisions for her life and have fun in the meantime! A young spirit is a gift!

[old horsetail snake]

Hmmm. Total it up --

Yes to Trick-or-Treat and pumpkins
No to PSAT
Yes to Gymnastics
No to Job Shadow

Fun = 100
Work = Zero

Second-guessing? Hmmmm

[Pirate]

Good questions. Having been fortunate to have had four, two of each as I always say, and all four have been very different. The oldest girl could hardly wait to be 18, the oldest boy wants everyone to think he is 18 but wants to have his mother near most of the time, the 15 yr old boy watched cartoons just like when he was a toddler. The lil sis wants to stay young forever but rule the world from our abode.

As long as every teacher and adult you meet tells you without effort that they love and enjoy your specific child and the police aren't circling your house and they aren't using a pacifier in their teens, you're probably doing better then most.

just be careful you don't end up doing all the carving and candy eating yourselves.

[Scully]

I like that she wants to still do some kid things and I like that she's enjoying herself.

I hate parenting. I hate anything I'm bad at.

[Susan]

Horsetail hit the nail on the head.
Childhood is short and one can't go back to it,
so let her enjoy it as long as possible!

[Laura]

Maybe I'm refusing to let go of my childhood, but I'm the one rushing out to the pumpkin patch, finding costumes, and buying candy corn, boys in tow. Why pass up a reason to be festive? I actually think it's very amusing when teenagers come trick-or-treating at my door and I love to see their costumes.