From here to eternity

Ashes to ashes and dust to dust...on my husband's Bucket List trip to Santa Monica, we scattered part of his cremains(pieces of bone too in case you didn't know) into the Pacific Ocean. Not wanting to do a Big Lebowski moment (careful, F bombs) in the breeze, we went close to the water(TOO CLOSE) and in our weepy touching hug afterward were swamped by the tide. However, we did run away laughing through our tears. Symbolic? I don't know, except that my running shoes got ruined and that we all agreed that Patt would have said something like, "That's what you get for being too emotional." or "You didn't notice that the tide was coming in?" Because in spite of the fact that he didn't appear to pay attention to things, he always seemed to be aware, if that makes any sense. Sometimes he didn't say anything, he merely made a face or quirked an eyebrow--just to communicate his opinion. :)

We "enjoyed" some kitschy Christmas decorations in Santa Monica.

The UCLA campus had huge pine cones...

and beautiful sunshine. It didn't feel like December though, more like June. Since the weather was gorgeous,the girls had fun playing on the beach.

Slack lining wasn't really Ashley's thing, but she tried it. In his healthy days, her dad would have been talented at it(great balance). He also would have loved doing this:

Hint: That is NOT me! (even though I wasn't at the top of the rope, I was still nervous) I hate heights!

The warm sand was too tempting for the gymnast and the ballerina.

Even when I was squelching around in soaked shoes and jeans, I made the girls pose for photos.

In life, as in nature, there are sunsets and although they mark the end of the light, they are awe inpiringly beautiful. I'm trying to remember the girls' eagerness as they ran to the beach to capture this picture, instead of my sadness at the early sunset and how it represented saying goodbye to my husband before his time. 

We had lots of adventures and my lips are sealed on a few--like the Friday night when I read Percy Jackson at the apartment and the girls went out on the town. ;)

I'm not adjusted yet to the reality that this is our family now. I want to rage at the night.

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rage at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Dylan Thomas

 

 

 

Comments

[Adrasteia]

I've always loved that poem. The pictures of your girls on the sand are wonderful. January 12 lunch together, forget ye not! <3

[Jay]

So glad that your family will be together for the holiday.
It looks like a beautiful day, and the sisters compliment each other beautifully.

[Kathy]

I remember the first Christmas without our dad six years ago. It felt very strange but somehow we made it through. Hope you guys are doing well. Glad you're all together.

[Ali]

Thank you for sharing this with us. All I can offer is love from afar.

[Mary]

Look at that beautiful blue sky, such great pictures! I'm so glad you got to go, and so glad you have family with you now. Merry Christmas to all of you.

[Brett]

Great Pictures ! Love The Sunset !

Hugs To One And All !

[MaryLou/TX]

My thoughts are with you early this Christmas morning. And, I'm sending you and your girls heartfelt virtual hugs.

[Donna W]

What a beautiful entry. Grieve as you must. Let the healing begin.

[Michelle]

Gorgeous loving girls. You are blessed in your pain.

[Zazzy]

There's something really beautiful in that moment - the sadness of letting go of a piece of Patt and the tide breaking into that sadness with Patt's humor. Hugs.

[Marie K]

What great stories, memories, and photos.

[Tonya Watkins]

I'm glad you had a nice, sunny, bittersweet time. Thinking of you on this Christmas, and so glad you have your girls with you.

[kayak woman]

So glad you went to California, even though it wasn't as originally planned.

[Tracy]

It's a beautiful family, even with the gaping hole. <3

[Arlene]

Thank you for sharing this. The pain of letting go is just too much sometimes. Nothing like a freezing cold wave to smack you back to reality-:). The sunset was beautiful but also sad. Hugs to you...