First of all, I asked a friend to create my husband's photo/video show for his Celebration of Life, but then being ME, I couldn't stand not putting Download Patt Fent corrected video together myself! Why do I do these things to myself? I stayed up until 2 a.m. last night(a true labor) because the !$@#&# program upstairs kept giving me errors. Of course, that's the software that I'm comfortable with and it has all the bells and whistles. So, I had to copy the photos and music onto a disk and bring it downstairs for the pitiful Windows Movie Maker. The good news is that WMM didn't have the really cool transitions I wanted(nor any way to increase the time for each photo), thus I was forced to keep it simple. I'm grateful for that now. Secondly, choosing pictures and seeing the deterioration in him over the past two years(especially this fall) made me feel like I was watching him die. How did I not notice it while I was living it? I guess it's about that Veil again, which allowed me the illusion of normality. Not very many people will understand why I chose the photos I did: him proudly holding a huge fish skeleton, funny facial expressions, the dinner he ate at the table for our younger daughter's home ec project, the kitty that he petted while wearing his headphones with aluminum foil on them(not in the photo unfortunately), the looks of love he bestowed on his daughters and me. Every picture, no matter how mundane, tells a story. And they make me thankful for our memories as I revisit our times together.
Finally, I almost didn't attend the annual RHS Class of '74 Glam Rams luncheon yesterday; I didn't feel like talking or being fussed over. However, my good friend Tonya was going to be there, as well as many long-time friends who have truly been there for my family. Diane took me/us to the airport several times, treated me to lunch and homemade soup; Jan brought cooked hamburger and bacon and always wanted to know how she could help us. Tonya sent me numerous supportive messages, as well as a gorgeous coffee basket! And listening to people's stories about children, grandchildren, cancer, divorce and other issues, I realized again that no one's journey is ever perfect or without pain. We found a lot of joy and comfort in each other's company, while sharing our tears; I'm glad I went.