A high school friend handed me this photo from nearly 10 years ago; it was at my 30th high school reunion and I remember being a "bit" annoyed about the sweatshirt Patt chose to wear. The girls had forced encouraged him to get it on our road trip down the Oregon and California coast; he bonded with it, in spite of its sort of embarrassing message. (And the answer is YES!) Of course the sweatshirt attracted attention at the reunion and people laughed a lot, especially the men. But Patt really didn't care much about that; he wanted to wear it, so he did, in spite of my dressy outfit. *sigh* Remember how I told you how stubborn he was? He also didn't give a rip about what other people thought of his appearance, including me. :) So, we're getting started on the plans for our 40th reunion(gulp) and I managed to make the meeting today, although I almost talked myself out of it because I didn't feel like being around people. Then I remembered my vow to keep busy and to not turn down invitations; when I got there, it was reinforced to me with hugs and conversation that I am loved by these people. And several of them said, "See you next weekend!" That's been my other major worry. Who will come to Patt's memorial? Who will NOT? I have no control over it, but I'm hoping that HIS friends and colleagues attend too, not just our close friends/family and MY large group of loved ones. Already my step-grandma will not be there because she refuses to be around my uncle and aunt, with whom she's had a major falling out. Patt's unsupportive sister and brother are a huge question mark due to family drama(they handle situations like hormonal junior high girls); his wonderful half brother who is dying of cancer really wants to be there, but may not be able to make it. So, there is lots of uncertainty and I HATE THAT. It makes me fretful. Go ahead and tell me that none of it matters and that I shouldn't worry, but it does and I do. I'm also struggling with what to put on the memorabilia table--wedding photos, a Stanley power lock, a Stairs by Patt sweatshirt, his cell phone? I may just have to be totally random about those decisions--not my style at all! Good things about this weekend?
A former colleague sent me these beautiful pearl bracelets which represent lung cancer awareness; I'm intending that the girls and I will wear them next weekend. My nephew(the son of my husband's sister and icky BIL) has promised to take pictures at the memorial which means that he's definitely attending. Jeff, the fellow stair guy who bought Patt's van, came by to get a paper signed and LOVES the vehicle. He's had the interior redone and it looks great; he also mentioned how well organized my husband was. He's keeping his tools in the same boxes as my husband did! It was bittersweet to see the van outside the house again and especially difficult to watch him drive away in it...but to build STAIRS, which was my husband's passion. Now, I have to gird up my loins for mask making tomorrow and Mardi Gras this Tuesday. Laissez les bons temps rouler!
Everything will fall into place. Those who are supposed to be there will be there. Take a deep breath and relax. It's going to be OK.
Posted by: Donna W | February 10, 2013 at 07:40 PM
It matters because it matters to you. But since you can't control any of it - try to let go. I hope that mask making is fun :)
Posted by: Zazzy | February 10, 2013 at 07:56 PM
Do you want Patrick and I to come? I figured we would be out of place because neither of us ever met Patt, but if you want us there for support, we will attend! *hugs* I'm glad your husband's tools and van are being put to continuing use in the profession he loved. So much better than having them just sit or be taken by people who wouldn't appreciate them enough. Do try to enjoy Mardi Gras. I remember loving that celebration when I was in your class. You know no one makes crepes as well as I do. ;) Miss you!
Posted by: Adrasteia | February 10, 2013 at 08:29 PM
What to put on the memorabilia table? Whatever the heck you want to, of course. I say this is a time to go lead with your heart and not your head. And I agree with Donna, the right people will be there... regardless of what you do today or don't do today.
Posted by: Ally Bean | February 11, 2013 at 04:14 AM
Love the sweatshirt. When I read about how he could have cared less about what other people thought about his appearance, I think...GREG!!
Posted by: Michelle | February 11, 2013 at 05:54 AM
"The people who are supposed to be there, will be there." I like that.
I'd forgotten about that sweatshirt! LOL! It blows my mind that we're coming up on our 40th reunion. (And I remember being blown away about our 30th!) How does this keep happening?
Posted by: Tonya | February 11, 2013 at 09:17 AM
The bracelets are lovely and you are right...those who will be there will be there and those who won't, won't. Isn't that the sort of control we all have?
Posted by: Karan | February 11, 2013 at 02:02 PM
I wish I lived closer! I will take some time this weekend though to pay my respects to your family!
Posted by: mccgoods | February 11, 2013 at 05:46 PM
Random is good! It was nice of your friend to give you that photo. It sounds like you are working on keeping busy. :)
Posted by: Marie K | February 11, 2013 at 09:49 PM