The Pinata

Because it's been a horribly emotional week for me with lots of crying fests and missing my "old" life, I'll need to resort to photos. Thankfully, my nephew's pictures went up on line which was both a blessing and a curse. I paid him $200 and gave him some direction, but evidently not enough...

Here we are before the event, watching one of our many DVDs, in which Patt is responsible(as always)for encouraging Ashley with her birthday pinata. She wrote me today: And I watched that video last night of the pinata, and realized I'm still the same girl who swung at the pinata one time and started crying and wanting to quit. My response to her: And I'm the woman who depended on her husband for problem solving,as well as emotional stability and now feel like I can't manage my life without him. Or maybe I just don't want to.

Although my hand looks giant, this is by far a better shot of our bracelets than we took. I guess a professional photographer does make a difference.

While watching the slide show, my nephew snapped this picture of one of my favorite photos of the two of us. *sigh* Patt loved the ocean.

I have to thank my photographer for cropping out my butt in this hug after the girls finished their duet; I'm sure it wasn't a pretty sight, especially in a close up. :)

The memorabilia table included some special clothing, his Brut cologne, his first "brick" cell phone and lots of photos: wedding, golf, construction projects. I was worried about this, but it all came together nicely, until I had to drag it home and put it away. :(

Many of my dear 1974 RHS Glam Rams were there, including my close blogger friend, Tonya.This group may be all over the map politically and in matters of religion, but we truly appreciate each other and our differences.

And what about RAM PRIDE? These ladies have worked with me or still do at Rogers High School. What an amazing turn out! One of my male colleagues was also at my house guarding it from thieves(yes, it really does happen that criminals read funeral notices and figure out when people will be gone); when we came home, he was outside washing Alison's very, very dirty car. We loved that!

Sadly, my nephew focused A LOT on his relatives which are, unfortunately, the toxic ones. There were numerous pictures of people I didn't want to see, while my own brother and wife weren't in a single shot. (remember I mentioned that I should have been more clear about exact photos I wanted?) This particular one is of my SIL(photographer's mother) and a close up of "brother" on the tri-fold board. Is it supposed to be a message to me? Yes, I understand that he was their brother, but he was my husband and he had had it with his family; it was to the point that when I asked him several times when he was dying whether he wanted me to get them together, he said NO WAY. They had treated him like dirt too often and he was done. :(

I absolutely loved the sing-a-long to Take Me Home, Country Road, but it was way too high for me. At least, nephew/photographer got this decent picture of me when I didn't look like I was straining for those high notes. ;)

Finally, here I am in my own world, listening to my girls' perform their duet. Their dad would have been so proud. I still miss him every minute. In fact, it feels like the joy is gone from my life.

Comments

[Ally Bean]

Margaret, I've never heard of the kind of celebration that you had here. We may all live in one country, but the habits/traditions are very different from area to area.

That being said, I'm pleased that it went as well as it did. And I'm amazed by how many photos you & others have of Patt. No one I know photographs people, so we'd have about three photos [max] to share.

Around here it is a fast funeral-- often by the grave-- and then a quick bite to eat-- either at someone's home, in a church rec room or at a restaurant. I'm fascinated by what you did here & by the fact that you hired a professional photographer for it.

[Profesora de español]

Sounds (and looks) like the celebration went well.

I agree with Ally Bean. You all have tons of photos! I wish I took more pictures to remember all the smaller details of life. I know they don't replace Patt, but I hope you are able to find a little joy in all of the memories (and photos) that you have together. And don't forget (not that you have) the fact that your girls are part of Patt, and hopefully you'll find that all the joy is in, fact, not gone from your life.

I'm still keeping you in my thoughts, and I hope your heart finds some healing.

[Adrasteia]

When it comes to grief, we are all in our own hell. It seems we either learn to numb the ache a bit, like dulling a particularly pungent smell when it overwhelms our nose, or we don't. I don't know which it will be for you. I hope that the stabbing pain of grief will dull to an ache and then a bittersweet reminiscence, but of course no one knows how it will turn out. Some people never get over the initial terrible grief even a little. I will do my part to help shine a light into the darkness by trying to inject my tiny bit of joy into your life whenever I see you. It will never replace the brilliant chandelier you once had, but sometimes a single candle helps on its own. Love you.

[Michelle]

It looks and sounds like it was so lovely. I suspect you will find your joy again. It will just be a long, slogging trip through a forest of tears first. Wish it wasn't so.

[Tracy]

You honored him well, Margaret.

[Marie K]

What a great remembrance. It's great that you had a celebration of life that was meaningful to you and your girls. It sounds like it was a very powerful afternoon. Take care and let me know when it's coffee time. :)

[Zazzy]

I agree, it sounds like it was a wonderful celebration of his life. That seems much more positive than the typical funeral - from what you've said of Patt I think he would have enjoyed it.

[Laura]

Margaret, thank you for sharing the day with us.
Your girls are a wonderful testament to you and Patt.

[Tonya Watkins]

It was a beautiful event and I do really sense Patt would have loved it. It was so him. I've thought the same thing about all your pictures together -- there are very very few of John and I together since I'm almost always the one behind the camera, and many of our family members just hate having their pictures taken. I'm surprised that other commentors were surprised about not being familiar with this type of celebration of life observance. It was so refreshing compared to so many funerals I've been to.

I'm so sorry it's been such a rough week for you. No, it's not "final" just because the celebration of life is behind you. :o(