Stargazer: Three months

March 04, 2013

Three months

Anniversaries are painful. This photo was given to me at Patt's celebration (by his wonderful half brother) and I couldn't keep from crying about the love in our faces. By Mr. Stargazer's hair, I can gauge that it was during that time when we thought he had been "cured" and might be OK, until the cancer came back with a vengeance several months later. I took some flowers up to the cemetery today, but there were still lots of them there, including new ones from someone mysterious. I make the trek to his niche for me though, not for him. He would think the fuss ridiculous and tell me to move on, don't waste my money, etc. I start to feel an urge to see his nameplate though; I need to remind myself of the reality, painful though it is. I kept very occupied this weekend with the retirement seminar(three more years after this one); it was alternately reassuring and terrifying. I don't want to bore you with details, but I found out lots about my investments(the differences between a Roth and a regular IRA, as well as a TSA/403b!),all about defined benefits, defined contributions, Social Security(which I already knew quite a lot about), health insurance, COLAs,etc. And I found out, not to my surprise, that teachers can be the worst audience ever! As a first born people pleaser, I'm always well-behaved, but others NOT SO MUCH. School drama is heating up as we get into spring and staffing numbers start coming in. It's when I really earn my pittance as department chair. I guess the anger and frustration will be distracting, right?

March 04, 2013 | Permalink

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I have so many sentiments I'd like to convey, but I can't think of the proper words for any of them. I blame my congestion, and I know a hug in person would do the job well. If I weren't contagious, I would suggest a get-together for this weekend, but April is probably better.

Posted by: Adrasteia | March 04, 2013 at 09:52 PM

There's a lot going on in this post. What a muddle of things and emotions you're going through right now. Grief + Roth IRAs sound like oil and water to me. Love the photo. It's a keeper.

Posted by: Ally Bean | March 05, 2013 at 09:17 AM

I suppose it's a good thing to understand your investments. I was just listing Dad's assets and I don't have a clue what they mean. That's a lovely photo. I'm so sorry for the sadness but I'm glad you had good times during the past couple years to remember as well.

Posted by: Zazzy | March 05, 2013 at 09:46 AM

Sounds like you are doing exactly what you need to do. That is a really sweet photo.

Posted by: Kathy | March 05, 2013 at 09:55 AM

I'll never forget the inservice I attended during which the superintendent of the district left in a rage because of the disrespectful inattentiveness of the teachers.

Love the pic.

Posted by: Michelle | March 05, 2013 at 04:59 PM

Such a great photo. I can hardly believe it's been 3 months. I'm sure I'll be saying that every month.

I really need to roll over two of my 401(k)s from previous employers. I've tried, but they make it very complicated!

Posted by: Tonya Watkins | March 05, 2013 at 05:59 PM

3 years! That's almost close enough to picture (and start to plan). I hope you find your investments have held up well. I am still afraid to consider the possibilities.

3 months! So short, and yet I am sure they are so long.

Posted by: Jay | March 05, 2013 at 09:44 PM

Ahhhh, retirement... I hope I get to do that before I'm 90.

The photo is beautiful.

Posted by: Tracy | March 05, 2013 at 10:06 PM

It's always good to get more info about retirement. Three years sounds doable! Love the photo. :)

Posted by: Marie K | March 06, 2013 at 06:48 PM

Now you've only got 3 years to say what you're REALLY thinking! Is that enough time?

Posted by: Karan | March 06, 2013 at 07:37 PM

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Book Club Reads

Eowyn Ivey: The Snow Child: A Novel
Although some disliked this book at Book Club, I absolutely loved it and found it entrancing. You have to like magical realism and fairy tales though. It was beautifully written and captivated me! (*****)
Liz Murray: Breaking Night: A Memoir of Forgiveness, Survival, and My Journey from Homeless to Harvard
This story was supposed to be inspirational(homeless to Harvard) but was mostly depressing and repetitive. It focused too much on the homeless and not enough on the transition to Harvard. And did I already mention DEPRESSING? (***)
Ann Patchett: State of Wonder
Although the ending was contrived(still loved it by the way), I adored the writing, the plot and the ethical dilemmas of this novel. It was also extremely well-written! (*****)
Tawni O'Dell: Fragile Beasts: A Novel
A wonderful read, especially the first half of the book. The ending was far fetched, but I really enjoyed the rest of the book. (****)
Timothy Egan: The Worst Hard Time: The Untold Story of Those Who Survived the Great American Dust Bowl
This book was a 3 1/2 star--not because it was poorly written or because I didn't learn a lot about a forgotten time in American history, but because it was too much the same. There just wasn't enough to say that was different or interesting. It was also a totally depressing story. (***)
Jennifer Haigh: Faith: A Novel
Although told in an unusual style and full of disturbing elements, I loved this book for the stories it told and the meaning behind them. It's about faith, but also about families, people and love. (*****)
S. J. Watson: Before I Go to Sleep: A Novel
A ***1/2 book with a fascinating premise and some decent writing. However, I figured it out about half way through and the ending was tied up way too neatly. (***)
J. Courtney Sullivan: Maine
This summer read was lacking a plot or a sympathetic character, but it engendered one of the best recent discussions at Book Club about families and dysfunction. Who would have thought? (***)
David Mitchell: The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet: A Novel
Although I wanted to read this book, it was VERY heavy going and only gets ***1/2. The positives were that I learned a lot about history and culture. The major negative was that it was a bunch of convoluted stories that didn't mesh well, in my opinion. (***)
Timothy Egan: The Big Burn: Teddy Roosevelt and the Fire that Saved America
Parts of this book were too dry and historical, but the fire part read like a novel. I learned a lot, but it wasn't an easy read for me. (****)

On My Bookshelf

Marcia Muller: City of Whispers (Sharon Mccone Mysteries)
Not the best outing in this series (3 1/2 stars)---a far-fetched plot and overwrought writing at times. Still, a decent way to pass a Sunday full of hail/snow. (***)
Charles Todd: The Confession: An Inspector Ian Rutledge Mystery (Ian Rutledge Mysteries)
I enjoy this series because I've learned a lot about WWI and shell shock. I didn't think this was the strongest in the series though. The plot was too convoluted and unrealistic. However, it was still a decent read. (****)
Robert Crais: Taken
I consider any book with Elvis Cole and Joe Pike in it a page turner, but Elvis is no longer funny and Pike is taking over the series. However, the book was well plotted and very tense; I couldn't put it down in the last few chapters! (****)
Laini Taylor: Daughter of Smoke and Bone
Despite the low score of ***1/2, I did enjoy the book. It just got too melodramatic when it got into the romance part, which may be because it's a Young Adult book. (***)
Elizabeth George: Believing the Lie
I paid $0.45 to keep this book overdue to find out how in the world George would tie all these stories together. (she didn't) This was a disappointing and sometimes frustrating read with good potential. However, I still like Lynley and some of it was decent--just not most of it. (***)
Jonathan Safran Foer: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (Movie Tie-In): A Novel
I'm only giving it 4 stars because I had some trouble with the format, which was not at all standard. The book itself had me laughing and crying and feeling touched, then crying more, not necessarily from sadness. A beautiful story but hard to read at times. (****)
Kate Morton: The House at Riverton: A Novel
This book was absorbing with fascinating characters, good writing and a decent plot. I enjoyed it and intend to read more by this author! (****)
Sue Grafton: V is for Vengeance (Kinsey Millhone Mystery)
It started out slowly, but I ended up liking it a lot.The characters were fascinating.It wasn't my favorite book in the series though. (****)
Patrick Ness: The Knife of Never Letting Go: Chaos Walking: Book One
A fascinating premise and a good read, although disturbing. It was more sci-fi and less fantasy than I expected. Now I'm reading the rest of the series. :) (****)
Jo Nesbo: The Leopard
I'm not doing a very good job of keeping my sidebar updated with books; I'm mainly reading mysteries. Jo Nesbo is one of my new favorites, gruesome as his stories are. This book was great until the end. It kind of fell apart for me there. (****)