Stargazer

Dumpster "diving"

Although I knew there was a storm coming today, there wasn't a cloud in the sky yesterday. So I briefly doubted the weather forecasters, but woke up to the sound of the much needed rain this morning. It's also supposed to be windy which I am not OK with. Perhaps part of my fence won't blow down this time? 

I enjoyed a sunny walk! Today it will include an umbrella and a rain jacket. 

At loose ends yesterday afternoon, I continued going through my late husband's side of the garage. It's a multi-stage process and has spanned the last eight years. But I'm now ready to get serious about getting rid of stuff. However, these cute golf balls will go to my nephew who has started playing the sport and is a novice on a local high school golf team. He's homeschooled, but can participate in activities and sports at the public schools in my district. 

There is more inside the garage that I'll drag out tomorrow when the College Hunks show up. Don't tell John that I'm paying to have this junk hauled away. He has an issue with me not trying to get rid of it on Offer Up and I have a problem with him wanting me to spend the time and effort to do so. What transpires is that he hauls it up to his already packed garage, so that he can sell it for me...eventually.(also what I don't want!) Thus, it's better that he not know what I'm up to until after the fact. 

I discovered some old newspapers that Patt had kept/collected, and almost threw them in the recycle. Then I looked at them!

This one I may get rid of. I don't want to relive these moments; they are still too much in the present. 

I would love to ask him where he bought this. Too late now! In other news, Younger Daughter asked me, after inquiring whether she could fly home for a couple weeks to stay before going back to Chicago to drive her stuff back, why her life was such a dumpster fire. The short answer: poor decisions, a few unhealthy obsessions, impulsivity and codependency. She says about her life, "I feel like I don't even exist." The long story--do you have a couple hours? No matter what, I want to preserve my own schedules and routines, while being supportive yet firm about boundaries. It's going to be tricky, and I'm stressed about the details. If I'm not careful my life could turn into Jake Tapper's quote, "... a hot mess, inside a dumpster fire, inside a train wreck.” Bah, parenting, when does it get easier?

 

Iron Lady

I share a name, but not much else with Margaret Thatcher. Yesterday to prove my "toughness" and since I had to go into the pharmacy to change my insurance to Medicare, I figured I would get a couple shots at the same time. One in each arm? Great idea! (not) Last night was miserable with body aches and chills; I couldn't get warm or comfortable and slept very poorly. Iron Lady, hahaha. More like cheap tinfoil. 

Partly due to my travel to Senegal, I'm one of the most vaxxed people you'll ever meet. That means I'm easily trackable and highly magnetic, according to the conspiracy crazies. :) My immunizations include typhoid, polio, smallpox, yellow fever, hepatitis A, TDAP, meningitis, MMR, shingles, COVID and now pneumonia for old people and flu. My vaccination card is full! Just for "fun," I posted about this event to poke the bear, aka to try to irritate some of my anti-vax Facebook friends. Disappointingly, there was no reaction. Have you ever geared up for an argument only to have it flop? 

Back in Alison's gymnastics days, we three gym moms were buddies, and I'm still close with Peggy (also Margaret) on the right. She's a special ed teacher and all around delightful and funny person. There weren't many laughs at our coffee date yesterday though. I'm dealing with the uncertainties of Younger Daughter's life choices, and Peggy is agonizing about her own Younger Daughter(and son-in-law's) resistance to getting the vaccine. Her older child and husband are in the medical field, and her older daughter L. works at our local hospital. Peggy says that L. often calls crying because the conditions are so terrible and heartbreaking there. This virus is not only dangerous to the health, it's also divisive to relationships within families and among friends. With that said, I inquired point blank of my younger daughter whether she'd been fully vaccinated; she was a little cagey about her second shot. I was relieved that the answer was yes because I don't want her living with me if she's not. I'm still apprehensive about the two cats and how they'll get along. And Alison and I have our struggles when we're under the same roof. It will work out somehow, right? 

My New World

When Covid first hit, I didn't expect it to last long, and looked at history for guidance. Surely in our modern world, we would do much better than during the Middle Ages and the early 20th century, right? Deaths would be minimal, I imagined. During the bubonic(black) plague, 75-200 million died, and it lasted seven years. SEVEN. The Flu of 1918 went on a mere two years, including three waves. Worldwide, there were 500 million deaths while in the U.S. it was 675,000. Sadly, we're close to that number now and aren't even close to taming the beast. In 1918, the mortality rates were high in the young and if you read descriptions of that time, they are eerily familiar: shut downs, masks, anti-maskers, isolation--but do you know what didn't exist back then? Anti-vaxxers! Now we have antibiotics, the genius of modern medicine, and the miracle of vaccines, yet here we are...

As part of this new world, I decided to order covid tests for my New York trip in October. Since I don't intend to quarantine, I'll probably mask for the first three days or so, then take the test and hope that it's negative. One of the worst things I can imagine would be taking the virus back to my grandson. Do you like how Mari photobombed this shot? :)

Isn't he a little peach? I love him so much!

My pandemic existence is pretty boring, and limited. I walk every day, plan a few weekly get togethers with John (yesterday for the football game-Go, Seahawks!) and see my mom most days. That's another reason why I'm so careful. Although I'm vaccinated and so is she, Mom is 89, diabetic and has kidney issues and a pacemaker. She's doing quite well for her age, but I don't know that she would survive Covid. One of my Facebook friends had an anti-mask/anti-vax commenter tell him that the virus isn't dangerous, that the only people it's killing are the old and the fat. His point was that they aren't worth worrying about anyway. At that point, I had to close the app before my head completely exploded. 

After the football game, John and I went for a quiet walk at Dash Point. The rainy day had by then turned into some blue sky and warm temperatures. It wasn't as long a trek as I would have wanted, but at least we went out SOMEWHERE. John is more sedentary than I am, he loves YouTube videos and he is sometimes way too laid back. However, when I compare the exhilaration/heartbreak of the Henry years to the calmness I have now, I value my secure and affectionate relationship with John even more. Not perfect by any means, yet much more mentally and emotionally healthy for me. 

The fall crocuses are up! They are so delicate that they almost look fake. I'm definitely not a fan of this New Pandemic World although I'm adapting better each day as I discover small things to enjoy. 

“And I learned what is obvious to a child. That life is simply a collection of little lives, each lived one day at a time. That each day should be spent finding beauty in flowers and poetry and talking to animals. That a day spent with dreaming and sunsets and refreshing breezes cannot be bettered." -Nicolas Sparks

 

 

 

 

Teranga

"World languages are bursting with beautiful words without an English equivalent – from the Danish hygge to the Japanese komorebi (sunlight filtered through trees) – and teranga is yet another that transcends translation. Loosely meaning ‘hospitality’ in the Wolof language, it means so much more. To get a better understanding of teranga, you need to throw in elements of respect, community, solidarity and sharing."

I wasn't blogging when 9-11 happened, so I didn't post about it then, although I have many times over the subsequent years. But not today. It's simply too painful and difficult to translate those moments of unity, and caring for others into what's happening now in our country. Apparently our enemy has to be a terrorist faction from a religion we don't understand and denigrate because of that. It can't be a virus that's destroying our institutions, our civility and our common sense. Teranga is the motto of Senegal where I've visited twice and where my older daughter has often lived, and for long periods of time. In that West African country I've seen Christians and Muslims living peacefully and congenially side by side. They invite neighbors of other faiths to their holiday parties, and accept their differences, while celebrating their common humanity and beliefs. I've been shown nothing but teranga there...whereas here, not so much. A friend and I were having an outdoor coffee at Sbux this morning when a car festooned with bumper stickers slowed down so that the driver could yell out the window: "You Sbux customers are in league with Satanists." A man standing on the corner with his drink turned to us, "I'm in law enforcement and there is just no arguing with that kind of crazy." I wasn't intending to argue anything because my mouth was hanging completely open! 

My accomplishments have been numerous lately: many sunny walks, an estimate on my moss cleaning/roof treatment(ouch), and a pick up of 8 bankers boxes to be shredded by Easy Shredding whose owner's name is Platt Winetrout, believe it or not. Add to that a lawn mower oil change (thanks, John!) and a recording of the quit claim deed I did for my property on Anderson Island. I "sold" it to my brother, mainly to get out from under the $700 per year dues. It was a lot more complicated than I thought since that property was still in my late husband's name. Fortunately, I had his death certificate with me, and the auditor's office had a copy of our community property agreement. These tasks, boring as they are, have been weighing on me greatly and now they're nearly finished. Woot!!

We'll soon have some rain and possibly thunderstorms too. Perhaps my grass will come back to life? I love blue sky, but the patterns of the clouds are fascinating to me. The changing weather means that I'll soon start melting burning my pumpkin Scentsy wax, thus filling my house with fall ambiance! 

Although I'm no longer a paying or active member of Match, they keep sending me "enticements" to join back up because "there are men waiting for me." :) And for those of you who remember my ex-boyfriend Henry, here he is looking for a new woman. I took one of the photos in his profile, for crying out loud! In fact, seeing his face again and reading his profile made me realize that I've truly moved on to a kinder and more devoted partner. Henry and I had great and magical moments, and utterly terrible ones; unfortunately, those times were also very meaningful and I've had a tough time putting them behind me. We had a connection that I can't explain, and that intensified the grief process when the relationship died. In these past three years, I hope he's gotten himself together, and dealt with his demons. I still care about him, and will always wish him well. 

I've found solace and wisdom in those pieces of others in me as well, and in the memories of good times and laughter. I've finally learned that letting go doesn't mean that I have to completely forget...which is impossible anyway. 

 

 

Throwing "Treasures" in the Trash

Over the past (nearly) nine years I've gotten rid of LOTS of stuff around here, but never enough. My late husband wasn't a hoarder; I would call him more of a "collector." The big things like his work van, Jeep, tools and various types of woods and structures are gone, yet there is still SO much. Last week, looking at my nearly empty garbage can, I thought...hmmm. Why am I not going through the garage and filling that can with junk? Except what exactly is junk? 

Are you old enough to remember the tradition of writing poems or other quotes, then burning the edges? Yes, this is his writing. 

He is the one on the left with the atrocious goatee and short shorts. How I would have loved to give him *crap* for this! Since he graduated first in his class from electronics school in New York, he got to pick his duty station. He chose Hawaii and loved it there for the two years of his posting. His favorite was the Big Island. 

Although he's smiling here, for four years he was chronically and horribly seasick. Perhaps the Army or Air Force would have been a better choice for him?

I'm not sure what he's crawling out of, but he looks happy to be free. I wouldn't have liked that small space either!

My older daughter looks quite a bit like him in this picture. 

He kept EVERY cell phone he ever owned, including the Brick which I haven't yet located.

This one has an antenna that pulls up. Older Daughter didn't want to get rid of this cell phone model, but it's not 911 compliant so she had to upgrade.

Oooh, digital! I honestly don't remember this antique. The phones, empty CD cases he saved, and many photos of Hawaiian scenery from the early '70s are now in the trash. I got rid of a LOT, yet barely made a dent in what's there. My goal is to Fill The Can every week!

Of course I ran and walked today because the weather is changing and the clouds are rolling in. I arranged some coffee dates with friends. I did a few tasks for my mother; she repaid me by buying me some Magnum Double Caramel ice cream bars. 

I tried for this shot of the mountain across local farmland, but the haze was too great for a decent photo. This view can be spectacular on a good day with a decent photographer. Which I am not. :)

I gloated a little about my neighbor's fight with moles; my grass is dead dormant, so I'm not having that problem at the moment. 

You can see that I'm not lawn proud! There don't seem to be any water restrictions due to this past winter's huge snowpack, but I still don't want to waste that precious resource. The rains will come...eventually. 

P.S. Answers to questions: 1. Mari's paw is fine; she still has a few soft claw covers on and one of them is bright pink. I'm getting her nails clipped on the 20th and not long after that I'll glue on the nail caps to try to protect my furniture. 2. Yes, it really is a million dollars. Taxes (Washington State Estate Taxes) are already paid, and WA has no inheritance tax. I plan to gift the majority of the money to my daughters. 3. As far as I know, Younger Daughter is still driving back from Chicago in early November. I'm relieved that she's coming back, yet I'm extremely concerned that she's doing so for the wrong reasons. Enough said. 

 

 

 

 

The Ups and the Downs

My 2019 posts about my glorious tour of Scotland are coming through my Facebook memories. In this photo from exactly two years ago, I had fought my fear of heights, and with the encouragement and help of a couple tour mates, had climbed to nearly the top of Glencoe. It was a triumph for me since I didn't even want to get on the ski lift to start with. Then I got to a point on the way up the steep rocks where I felt scared and dizzy, but I persisted. Perhaps this experience prepared me a bit physically and mentally for the past few years when I've had to be tough and resilient. I've been forced to deal with many fears, yet have kept going. So many events have happened that I couldn't have predicted. And didn't want to ever think about. 

Mari spends no time in reflection; she simply enjoys her time in the sun. We have one more "hot" day (80s) then we drop into cooler weather; we might actually see some rain next week. Woo hoo! In the meantime, Mari is basking in the warm rays coming through the sliding glass door. 

The sun coming through the trees on my walks always stops me in my tracks, although I can never capture the picture I want. (even with the iPhone 12 pro camera)

A couple friends were at a local brewery for a jazz concert, and thought this guy was a doppelganger for John. I can see the resemblance, can't you?

I wish I could share this mystery I'm reading with my late father since our name is in it! Although Grieve isn't an uncommon name in England and Scotland, I had a grandfather, uncle and cousin named John. It's a popular name on both sides of my family, and now I even have a boyfriend named John.;) In upbeat news, my younger daughter's ex-boyfriend (with whom she's still living in Chicago) had his car stolen a week ago, but recovered today. Sadly, it's probably missing some parts, and undoubtedly one of them is the catalytic converter. I'm still counting the car recovery as a positive. Also there is a possible remote job in Younger Daughter's expertise that will earn her more money, not that she's guaranteed to get hired for said position. Fingers crossed! Older Daughter and Grandson are still sick with RSV although they're improving every day. No COVID according to the test they gave Grandson today at the doctor. However, their day care is closed due to the zillions of cases of RSV, which makes for a complicated work week for the Working Parents. Finally, the financial institution managing my late step-grandmother's estate is moving to split her assets into quarters which has taken FOREVER. Now the question is: what will I do with a million dollars? :) 

Rhythms and Routines

There are those who would say that I currently lead a boring existence, especially during these pandemic times when I've become a bit of a turtle. I prefer the term "relaxed." After 37 years of high school teaching, I've come to enjoy the minute rhythms of day to day life. It took me at least a year to adjust and to conclude that it didn't matter if I got up at 7:30 or 8:00, that I didn't need to rush around any more, and that I didn't have to feel a sense of accomplishment every day, like I did in the classroom. Every period of every day I taught something, I interacted with numerous others and if nothing else I held on to my temper and my naturally sunny disposition. Perhaps it's all in the perspective? Being contentedly retired is a gift that many never get to experience. Like my late husband, dead at 59 of cancer.

Watching the neighbor get his garage door replaced and his house pressure washed(what color will he paint it?) isn't exciting, but it reminds me how hard others are still working. Their routines are so much busier and crazier than mine. :) I love watching the kids come home from school in their little colorful masks, and seeing the parent greet them and ask about their day. I think about my own daughters and our many Septembers starting school. Now they're 31 and 35!

When I saw the neighbor's blinding white garage doors, I wanted to see how far off brilliant white my trim was. My painter wanted way lighter (so it would pop) but I chose a more mellow shade. Before having my house repainted I had no clue how many versions of white there were. Mind-boggling. 

It's been summery weather (in the mid-70s here) but with fall colors. Happily, I'm back into my routine of running and walking since the weather is ideal to be outdoors. I DO miss my little guy and his family though; I FaceTimed with Older Daughter and Grandson this morning and ached to give him a huge snuggle. He called me Mémé several times, and kissed the phone screen twice. What a little doll he is! He's still coughing as is my daughter, but they are better. Daughter says that nearly every child in his daycare now has RSV. :(

Our very hot summer has meant that the mountain is barer of snow than anyone ever remembers it being. In fact, it looks a lot like a volcano. Um, yeah...

 

Updates

Before I go back to my regular programming of flower and cat photos, occasional rants and innocuous drivel, I thought some of you might be interested in the latest installment of the Scamdrama. 

• Erika and Evelynn aren't real people, nor are the websites. John tried to call the listed phone numbers and I sent email messages to both. No answers or responses to either. No sale prices on the artwork.  Everything unfinished, sort of a shell of a site. Trying to track either one of these "ladies" circles back to the websites, Linked In or Facebook--with minimal or non-existent contacts. Doing reverse look up on the photos goes no where. A friend suggested that they could be computer generated which makes a lot of sense. Thanks, Marie!
• Older Daughter and husband did research on the artwork and discovered the actual sculptor who seems REAL and lives in Vancouver, B. C. She has a long list of awards and appears on multiple reputable websites like this one. John and I contacted Sladjana via email last night; she responded early this morning. She is outraged, but what can she do?
• I don't intend to share any of this with J. since he's made his belief in "Erika" crystal clear. As it stands, the friendship is already damaged, if not destroyed. Even when he eventually realizes that I've been right, he will probably still resent me for my interference and truth telling. If I had it to do over again, would I? In a heartbeat. It's more about my personal ethics and living with myself, and less about the consequences. 
• 
• Evidently, the pantry isn't the best place for Ziggy's left over cat food. Mari is relentless about getting into packages, and I had inconveniently forgotten that detail. It's now moved behind a closet door in the closed off den. Take that Houdini, Mari!

Friend Failure

As a veteran teacher and older (wise?) person, I'm used to being listened to about relationships and people. And my opinions are generally respected because they are mostly based on evidence and reality. So, even though I'm feeling emotional right now, I will continue to focus on the facts. Sadly, my friend doesn't want to believe that Erika/Evelynn is probably a young man (Yahoo boy) in Nigeria, not that I've been that blunt. The friend J. is offended that I (actually John) would research this person on the internet, and still thinks he's in some sort of relationship with her. Finally, as Ashley mentioned, we really need my late husband here because he would have given J. a disbelieving look that I can't imitate, and said (excuse the language): "Don't be a f*cking dumbass!" 

This is sort of the look except with a quirked eyebrow and a more disgusted expression. And guess what? Erika/Evelynn can't fly to Seattle today after all because her $500,000 sculpture was bought by someone in the UAE; they are requiring her to travel there to help set it up. My guess is that something will supposedly go wrong, the buyer in the UAE will refuse to pay her way back, and she'll beg J. for an emergency loan to come back to the U.S. What a crock of you-know-what! Anyway, J. trusts E. in spite of these cockamamie stories and ludicrous excuses.  He doesn't trust a friend that he's known for over 30 years. I can hardly stand it! However, I've done and said everything I can, and now I need to let go of it. 

I'm headed up to John's and I hope he has some Amber Ale chilled. I'm a little worried to leave Mari who specializes in breaking into my cupboards and cabinets while I'm gone. I wonder if she would like some of Ziggy's leftover food...

I'd really like to know who this woman actually is. I'm 100% sure she is NOT the person corresponding with J. Sigh.

Clarity

As my older daughter and many friends have noted, John should be a private detective. Did I ever mention how much he researched me on-line before going on our first date on August 19, 2018? It makes me a bit nervous that he'll eventually find my blog, although it's supposed to be "ungooglable." If he knew I had a site, or discovered a blog friend who linked to me, it could be ugly for a number of reasons. Should I stop blogging and erase the site? Or can that even be done at this point? Anyway, Private Eye John did a reverse look up of a photo on "Erika's" Linked In, and then compared these two websites. Take a look at this and this and tell me what you think. I was 100% sure of the scam already, and I sent the information immediately to my friend. I hope he's still talking to me. I'm sure you know the saying about "shooting the messenger." 

As worried as I am about various things and people, I need to focus on what I can control. So...get out of my chair, Mari!

I'm always happy to whine about share my concerns with a close friend over coffee. I met M. through blogging, but we had no idea we lived so close to each other. She could have been across the country or even abroad; we ended up about 20 minutes away from each other. :)  Serendipity! She had a free book for me, we met mid-way between our homes, and had an excellent chat, thus we've continued to get together. That was at least 15 years ago!

It was a noisy coffee date with lots of loud traffic and this beast flying in to land at McChord AFB. That's what happens when the Starbucks sits at the junction of a busy road, two freeways and a military base ;)

This neighbor house with a three car garage and SEVEN cars outside made me grimace. It's getting more and more challenging to navigate the roads in the development between all the vehicles parked on the street and the kids on bikes, and skateboards. I sound curmudgeonly, don't I?

I laughed at the 6th grade report that my mom dredged up. I was (and am) a huge "Anne of Green Gables" fan, so I wasn't surprised that I had researched the island. I must have visited my grandparents in Cle Elum at some time during this process, but I can't figure out why I would have worked on it in Tacoma or Seattle. That will have to remain a mystery, like too many things these days!