Stargazer

Texas tales

Finally, I get to blog! I wanted to write (actually needed to) while on my trip to the Texas Hill Country, then Austin, but it was impossible to do so. First, let me clarify that the photos you see on Facebook and Instagram don't tell the whole story. As I've said many times, those social media platforms are Margaret Lite. My blog is Margaret Too Real. Next, I will remind you (and myself) that I never wanted to stay in Texas for 11 days; I pushed for a week, which I figured was plenty considering my friend's health issues. It can be difficult to travel with someone who rarely feels good, and who is also somewhat self-centered, perhaps because of that. However, my friend and I have known each other since childhood; she's had a tough life, including two disastrous marriages, the loss of both her parents, the death of her 62 year old brother and best friend to brain cancer, and the suicide of her youngest son in October, 2017. Thus, I try to give her grace, although we mostly eat where and when she wants to, we visit places that she thinks are interesting, she takes the bedroom and I get the uncomfortable pull-out couch, we can only have 4 devices on the internet and she takes 3 of them, etc...hence no blogging. Luckily, I'm reasonably easy-going, and the friendship means a lot to me so I say very little. (but 11 days of it was a bit much!) If you're thinking I should just be honest, trust me, that would NOT go over well at all! Since I didn't get to blog when I wanted to, I feel overwhelmed, and will lean on my photos to tell some of the stories. 

This is what we left...feeling optimistic about the Texas weather. :) We ended up getting a bit of everything: rain, bitter cold and wind chill, sun, heat, thunderstorms, and gray; if I don't end up with a cold, I'll be quite surprised!

Our first stop, after a rainy and foggy drive was Johnson City, hometown of LBJ. I approve of all the pecans in Texas, as well as the preponderance of goat cheese, one of my culinary passions! (lots of goats in the Hill Country!) This place had some "interesting" cowboys and cowgirls, and I loved people watching. 

A highlight of this area was a visit to Fredericksburg, and this museum. I never knew how dog tags were made, did you?

The buildings in Fredericksburg are gorgeous, but we didn't like this authentic German cuisine. Too authentic, perhaps? The charm of Texas is definitely in its historic buildings. As Washingtonians(and an Alaskan), we're used to breathtaking scenery and the beauty of nature. That's not Texas. There is beauty everywhere though. Friendly people. New foods and drinks. The history of how people came to this country and found a way to belong, yet keep their own culture alive. 

I sat on a cow!

We continued on to LBJ's Living Farm where we were treated to stories of how they actually live there: raise the animals, butcher them, can, farm, and cook on this wood burning stove. My paternal grandmother had a coal burning one, so I could relate to it! When I showed this photo to my Dad, he was thrilled. :)

Another German town we visited was New Braunfels and its Gruene Historic district. It was such an atmospheric place, and again, I was entranced by the buildings! OK, I was also delighted by the general store with its eclectic merchandise, and quirky hats. ;)

Speaking of hats... We flew into Austin, drove to the Hill Country, then finally came back to Austin for the rest of our stay. (this hotel restroom made me laugh!)Did you know that SXSW was going on in Austin during our visit? Being from the PacNW, we assumed it was a small music festival, and that we could maybe get some tickets to an interesting show. Although SXSW may have been like that in the beginning, it's now a corporate, heavily attended music, film, interactive and tech sh*tshow that fills the place with even more young hipsters. My friend and I felt like grandmas wandering around 6th Street near our downtown hotel. I could have given birth to 99% of the kids people I saw! 

We decided to head for San Antonio, home of the River Walk, which was very scenic with all the colors of the plants, flowers, water and buildings! The weather was also in the low 80s, so I got to finally wear MY SKORT. The highlight of the town though was the San Antonio Art Museum; we loved it! I also liked that it is located in a beautiful, repurposed Lone Star Brewery building. 

In case you didn't know, bats are a big deal in Austin, and in San Antonio, hence the name of this Amber Ale, Free Tail. It's a type of bat, as we learned by googling. :) Note: I do not like bats, and was happy to find out that they're still in Mexico at the moment. 

This restaurant, owned by Sandra Bullock, was our favorite breakfast place with incredible pastries and espresso. Then we ended up at the Driskill for goat cheese/spinach scrambled eggs, and a Texas shaped waffle; their 1886 Café and Bakery immediately became our #1! Not only is the building spectacular, but the food was...what's the most extreme synonym for yummy? :)

Hello, and goodbye Texas. I'm glad I came, but I doubt that I'll be back. The Texans I met were awesome, and the architecture gorgeous, but the main reason is that life is short, thus many other places are calling to me!

Finally, I came home to this. The beginning of spring! I also returned to John, who is about as great a guy as anyone could dream of. Not to be cheesy, but seriously! Saint Patrick's Day (March 17th) would have been three years with Henry. A part of me is sad and nostalgic about that. Yet I've felt more secure, and happier in the past seven months than I ever did with Henry. So, like spring, I'm finding color, beauty and lightness of spirit in a new life with John. Winter may be over.

 

 

 

Unpreparedness

When Ashley called to find out how my packing for Austin was going, I was upstairs agonizing over clothing (a forecast from 20-80 degrees) and wondering if I would be able to close my suitcase, which is very Ashley style, not usually minimalist Margaret style. How am I feeling about all these decisions? When I came downstairs to return her call, I first dialed my own number, and then wondered why my cell phone was ringing! I'm somewhat frazzled, in other words. :)

I've made the time to do my therapeutic walking, where I've seen snowy hills, and blue sky. John and I had lunch together today, then strolled around Puyallup. He's suffering from a Man Cold, but came down to see me anyway.:) He's such a wonderful guy! Tomorrow Becky and I will spend the night at his place, then he'll take us to the airport on Saturday. How many people would be so welcoming to their girlfriend's buddy? 

It was a chilly trek, but the views made it worth it! (over 15,000 steps today, which was awesome, considering I won't get many while sitting on an airplane) Retirement has made me an avid walker; I didn't anticipate that, just as I didn't predict the other positive and negative changes in my life. Maybe that's for the best.

Stretching myself through travel, DATING, and allowing myself to change have been enormous risks, and I've been fearful and emotional. I don't deal well with the unknown. March will bring some difficulties for me: the 17th would have been my three year anniversary with Henry, and it still sometimes shocks me that we're not together. It will make me sad, even though John is truly a fantastic partner. Ashley and Ryan leave for Argentina on the 11th, which is exciting, yet a bit scary since Buenos Aires is so far away. Alison has officially moved on, both in her address and her relationship...

Her new guy, G. is older, twice divorced and not the one I would have chosen for her, if I could do so. But John and I both find him pleasant, and eager to spend time with us at Trivia nights and dinners. Thus, we will, as Patt always advised, go with the flow. Many relationships don't work out, even when you firmly believe they will. I've learned that the hard way. In the meantime, I'm doing lots of reading. I finished this Book Club read, and am now into this, and will take this book on the plane with me. I'm good to go...in the ways that count.

 

This and That

I'm sure you're fed up with my whining about our weather here, so I'll just say that I'm tired of the white stuff, and definitely ready for spring. Now that we have plenty of snow pack in our mountains for summer water needs and irrigation, it can quit any time!

By the time mini Snowmaggedon stopped this morning, everything was completely white, but thankfully, the temperature was too high for this round of snow to stick around. Take that, winter!! :) By the way, my neighbor refused to accept any money for the new fence (pictured), even a token $500 for all his labor. He keeps talking about Patt's generosity in paying for and building the original fence, and how Patt helped him move in, which I don't remember. I got a little weepy when he reiterated that he wouldn't take a cent from me; he's retired military and served with many guys who left widows, so he wanted to help me out. It's incredibly kind and thoughtful on his part, but I can't help feeling awkward about my complete lack of contribution. However, I'm just going to be gracious, and tell him a heartfelt thank you!

This shirt was offered for free on Facebook, so I went for it, even though I don't care much for this color. Perhaps I should take it with me to Austin? Sadly, the day Becky and I arrive, the temps there drop from the 70s into the 50s with chilly nights. Does it ever snow in Austin? That would be quite annoying! At least the cold Texas weather means I don't have to face the horror of trying on my over 30 years old tank swim suit. A 62 old body doesn't look the same as a 30 year old one, that's for sure!

Here are a bunch of my paternal relatives, and they definitely resemble each other. There's a certain look(and hair, lots of it) that distinguishes my dad's side of the family. The mystery of genetics fascinates me. To that end, I decided to order a 23 and me DNA kit, so that I can compare it with ancestry, mainly for ethnicity. Is my mom really French instead of Italian? Will I pick up any new connections through their site, although ancestry has a way bigger database? Anyway, my spit is on its way, so I'll be boring you sharing details in a month or so!

Last night John and I "went out on the town." These distinguished gentlemen are former students, brothers who have gone on to get PhDs; they are both professors. Daniel, on the left, is a composer and musician who teaches at Juilliard and Fordham, while John is a history prof at Portland State, specializing in medieval French history. When I suggested attending this because I am a huge lover of Scheherazade, plus I wanted to hear Daniel's Mount Rainier composition, John was eager for the experience. So, we dressed up in a dress(me) and slacks(him), had a lovely dinner in Tacoma, then walked up to Pantages for the concert. It was a fantastic experience, and I loved getting to chat with the boys! Pantages has been heavily remodeled; I found it beautiful and fancy, probably because I don't get out much to elegant theaters. Do you know what they neglected to update? THE WOMEN'S RESTROOM. Sigh. Tonight John and I will watch the Oscars(my first time, actually!); we've seen all the nominees for Best Picture, so it'll be fascinating to find out if we agree with the awards. He's leaning "Green Book," whereas I think "Roma" or "The Favourite" could triumph. "BlackkKlansman" was such a powerful film that I hope it gets something big, even if it's not best picture! At the end of that movie, I couldn't even speak, which for me is quite unusual. ;)  

 

Trippin'

I'm having trouble processing that I'll be leaving for Austin a week from this Saturday. This trip with my friend Becky has crept up on me; as usual, the weather for my future destination is now on my iPhone, and the decisions about clothing are starting to terrify worry me. I hate being cold, but don't enjoy being hot either! Although I'm perfectly willing to shop for groceries, I despise clothes shopping with a white hot passion. Just ask my mother or anyone who has had the misfortune to go with me on a jeans/shirts/bras/shoes expedition. Thus, I will pack carefully and make do with layers--from sleeveless to sweatshirts, and skorts to leggings. Since we're headed for Texas, I'll throw in a couple pairs of boots! ;)

Why Texas, you ask? I've never had the least desire to visit the state, but I've heard from many that Austin is incredible. We're actually starting out in Hunt, Texas, home to the Stablewood Springs Resort. (Becky is a member of WorldMark, so she gets great deals and excellent accommodations.) I just go along for the ride! While we're at the resort, we intend to visit Fredericksburg, which is a German town, a faux Stonehenge, and possibly LBJ's ranch. Then we'll head to Austin for music, food, beer, coffee, museums and whatever cool new experiences we can find. I'm looking forward to it, although I would have rather stayed a week, versus 11 days. It's hard to be away that long...As for John, he makes everything EASY. He offered airport rides, his guestroom for Becky so he could take both of us, moving help for Alison this month since he has a huge pick-up (The Great White Whale) and so much support in every way. I've fretted about asking him for help since his family depends on him a lot, but he is always eager to be there for me. What a great guy he is! I've also been concerned about my finances lately, although I have plenty of money. So, today I contacted my financial advisor to ask him if I had any funds "lying around" because I have two sections of fence to pay for, two property tax bills, and two trips, since I'm going to New York for a week in April to visit Ashley, Ryan and Ziggy. (Montreal for Easter weekend!) I also anticipate owing several thousand in income tax, even though I pay $1450 quarterly. Grrrr. My financial guy laughed gently at my concern because what is my retirement money for, if not to reduce my stress and live comfortably in retirement? I need to remind myself to check the situation out before working myself up. I fussed about the assigned seats on my CheapOAir flights to and from JFK because I didn't get the aisle seats I asked for. Finally, I decided to call the company and see if I could work it out. The lovely East Indian employee asked me for three minutes on hold, then sent me a new confirmation with two aisle seats! Woot!! But how much time did I spend fuming over a situation that I could try to fix? How long did I agonize over bills that would require more money than I have on hand without seeking a solution? Now I'm concerned about flying into JFK, getting a taxi to Grand Central, then getting the Metro North to Poughkeepsie. Worrying appears to be my hobby sometimes! Yet I'm also learning to fly by the seat of my pants, and enjoy some adventures along the way. I have so many caring people in my life, and I'm grateful for each one of them! 

 

Passages

Now that it's raining(although low 40s so there is still snow), and I actually went for my first run in nearly a week, I mostly have my sense of humor back. Thus, I can post this...

I was guilty of working myself up over the criticism of how we handled the Snowmaggedon(don't get me started on hills and lack of infrastructure), as well as more specific worries about my elderly parents wanting to get out and do WAY too much walking and driving, and about my younger daughter driving in the snow/ice/slush. She isn't a good driver even in the best of circumstances.

It was beautiful, but I'm glad it's going away because we REALLY can't handle it.

The amazing snow fort I saw in the last post? Like the fallen over snowmen, this collapsed snow fort means we're moving away from our winter event, and possibly inching toward spring. Fingers crossed.  Most of us have no patience for the limitations of long lasting snow storms; it's exciting for a day or two, then it just needs to go away, which it usually does.

And when the snow melted, there were the tulips coming up, along with a whole bunch of weeds. Sigh.

I've managed some dates with John, which have been delightful. Yesterday I had coffee with a friend who is going through some tough times with her boyfriend, and realized yet again that none of us has a linear trajectory in our relationships. My friend has been messily divorced, and her boyfriend and she have enormous and regular ups and downs. My roller coaster ride with Henry was also full of cycles: the euphoria and joy of being together, then the depths of despair when he withdrew. My life with John is always good, minus the incredible highs and awful lows with Henry. I sometimes find myself missing the excitement and intensity of my Henry times, while being grateful (yet sometimes bored) with the stability and contentment of my John life. Is there something wrong with me, or is this normal? I still would like to know how Henry is doing, if he's happy, whether he's found another woman, what I did wrong(if anything), why he decided to suddenly call it quits...but it will probably always remain a mystery, right? John is fabulous in so many ways, yet Henry was also incredible for numerous reasons. I consider myself fortunate to have been with both men. I've grown a lot in the past few years and learned so much about myself; the pain and loss have given me wounds, but I wear those scars proudly. Caring about others is always a risk.

I had mentioned that I liked macarons, so this is the surprise I found this morning when I came downstairs. Of course, I also had told him that I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day, thus I had nothing to give him back. :( John is a sweet man, and I hope I'm worthy of him. Tomorrow I'll treat him to a film and a pizza dinner at one of our favorite places as a belated Valentine's Day gift. It's a very silly holiday, don't you think? I will enjoy those macarons and truffles though! :)
 

 

The Real Deal

A trip to Seattle. Snow, too much lots of it. Adventures in my AWD with the new winter tires. Have most of you already read about our Snowmaggeddon here? I'm sure you realize that we're not used to much snow at all, and it usually goes away after a few days. This has been/will be an unending cycle of heavy snow, cold, more snow, etc. I won't bore you with too many details. It's hard to know where to begin so I'll start with photos:

The MOHAI(Museum of History and Industry) had a WWI exhibit that John and I wanted to see. We got such a lovely day!(Thursday before Round #2 of snow)

This building, and the George Pocock shell in the museum reminded me of one of my all-time favorite non-fiction books, "The Boys in the Boat."The docent and I spent so much time excitedly discussing the book that John was intrigued. After downloading it, he read most of it in one day!

Going to Seattle can be lots of fun...when John drives. :) You can see remnants of Snow Round #1.

The WWI exhibit was fascinating and I enjoyed reading the posters. In some ways we haven't progressed very far, have we? :( I still hope to see a female President in my lifetime. 

Many American soldiers are lying in graves in French cemeteries. I've been to the one in Normandy and it's awe inspiring.

As a retired French teacher, I knew this already, but it was still fascinating to see.

I'm always intrigued by beer displays. How many have I sampled? ;)

I enjoy museums with a bit of quirkiness, like the "Toe Truck" and the original Rainier beer sign. 

Then the Friday storm came (#2), and it hit hard.

NINE INCHES!

John looks good in hats...

Whereas I do not, according to Mari who sniffed my 40+ year old ski hat, glared at it, and then ran away.

I've been trying to walk, but the roads have been nasty, with lots of compact snow and ice. However, I did take the Subaru out for a test drive to the store and she mostly did well. Even with AWD and new snow tires, there is no substitute for common sense, strategizing our many scary hills, caution, and paying attention to the conditions and the other drivers. Did I slip around sometimes? Yes, ICE is impossible, but I kept my composure. When I got back into my development, I practiced goosing it several times, as well as slamming on the brakes. It was amazing to feel the Subaru work to grip the road. I was extremely impressed!

On my walk, I saw many neighbors (adults and kids) building snowmen and FORTS. We don't usually have enough snow to make forts, so I loved stopping to admire them!

I tried to be ingenious and "shoveled" my driveway with a garden rake, so that my Subaru doesn't have to push through the deep snow to get out of the garage. I've never owned a snow shovel, and apparently there isn't one to be had in Puyallup right now!

Today I got this kind of view on my walk, which made the couple of times I nearly fell on my you-know-what very worthwhile. As I mentioned before, ice is truly terrifying.

Here is my Dad's ancient snow shovel, which is really a coal shovel that my Grandfather took out of the mine in Roslyn. Grandpa used it for decades, and now my dad has had it for a LONG time. I would estimate that it's about 100 years old. A collector's item. I may have to borrow it to use for Round #3 coming in today or the "Big Kahuna"(according to the forecasters) Round #4 on Tuesday. Could someone please send spring? I'm so over winter right now.

Adventures

February has been quite exciting so far, and it's barely started. It's been mostly positive too. I still wish things were going smoother for each daughter. My control over their lives is minimal, if even that.  Sometimes I mourn remember events from a year ago(thanks, FB memories) like Henry taking me to my colonoscopy procedure, back when I believed we were a forever couple. These bittersweet Henry memories still seem so recent, but it was a whole other lifetime ago. Yet I've also been with John a lot lately, and I'm finally realizing how fortunate I am to have found this guy. When he proposed going up to walk the new Seattle tunnel and soon to be demolished Alaskan Way Viaduct this past Saturday, I was lukewarm, but the event turned out to be fabulous! 

We took Sound Transit(so no parking issues), then ended up in the Stadium district, where we hopped on a shuttle, which was actually an articulated bus. I didn't know what to expect about crowds; it appears that John wasn't the only one enthusiastic about this event. Over 70,000 people participated, and I was happy to be one of them! Now for the photos...

Some signs, and a view of the full house. It was inspiring to see so many people of all ages, shapes and fitness levels walking that tunnel. There was even a woman pulling an oxygen concentrator, which made me think of Patt.

Then we came out of the tunnel, two miles later, and I had met this nice man. I always manage to meet cool people. :) By the way, we saw so many TALL people in that tunnel; I'm talking well over 6'5. Or am I just pretending not to be short? 

I love the Seattle skyline in the background. We walked from the Space Needle(where the shuttle dropped us off) to the Stadium district. My Fitbit was very pleased with me. (over 23,000 steps for the day!)

 

Although he's a Seahawks fan, John was not interested in an Utilikilt! :)

The story of my life, eh?

The viaduct behind us was also very crowded. However, we went up there anyway!

It's the end of an era for the Viaduct and for the city of Seattle, but...

.

 

Children always seem to know how to have a good time.

I've never seen the back view of the Pike Place Market sign. Of course, I've never before walked on the Alaskan Way Viaduct, or will again.

The views were incredible, and I didn't take the pictures I wanted, nor can I share the multitude of photos I did take. This seems to symbolize the past and the future. The viaduct will come down, opening up a new vision of Seattle. Does any of us completely accept change though? I fight it at first.

John and I ended our evening with a walk through the closed Pike Place Market, which included dinner and beer at this place. The beer was overpriced but delicious, the food, meh. But it was all about the experience!

 

Then yesterday it was the SuperBoring Bowl (hate the Patriots, who ended up winning), a delicious dinner at John's and the film "Roma." I am a little in shock that I've now seen ALL the Oscar nominees for 2018; that's a first! Would you like my opinion on each movie? ;) 

I spent the night, and it snowed WAY more than anyone(me) expected. That's my Subaru completely under a blanket of snow! Driving home from John's was sometimes nerve wracking, but I discovered that all wheel drive, plus new studless snow tires work great unless there is ice. I was extremely cautious and didn't slip around much, although I could have in a few nasty spots. I'm thankful that my car did so well!

I made it home, complete with icicles on my car. It's very cold for us right now!

In spite of the wind chill, I ended up going for a scenic winter walk after it warmed up to 30 degrees or so. It was therapeutic to exercise outside, breathe some fresh air and work my muscles. I've never seen so many snow plows either, trying to prepare the roads for tomorrow's frigid temperatures. The thought of driving in ice is when I'm especially relieved to be retired!!

 

 

Beauty

A few days ago, nearly everyone in my area (Western Washington) was posting stunning photos of the sunset on Facebook and Instagram. I had nothing, so I looked at all of them, trying to figure out my favorites, loving the vivid red, the amazing clouds, the water shots, the mountain, etc. My friend Yvonne put up this low-key picture from her back deck in Puyallup where she lives on Clark's Creek, right next to my close friend Bev. For some reason, I prefer this photo to all the splashy ones; it's so peaceful, and lovely. Perhaps it's just because I've been on her back deck, so it's more personal. I can imagine hobbits running around there, can't you?

It was much redder in the original, but this will have to do!

Sweet Mari loves getting cozy in my lap...when she's in the mood of course. She's a cat, thus everything is always on her terms. :)

Since John turns 65 in March, he's working at choosing his Medicare plan. He invited me to go with him to an appointment with an insurance expert, even though I'm a mere 62! ;) It was all very interesting, complex and overwhelming. I took many notes, although I'm not sure I understood it 100%. I did smirk a little when I realized that Boeing will dump John when he turns 65, whereas my insurance won't. It'll just get a whole lot cheaper. I'll probably go from paying $700 per month to half that. Whereas, poor John will change from $10 per month (ridiculous!) to hundreds. Boeing has great bennies though, and I'm a little jealous. After our appointment, we went walking by the Puyallup River, and then here for an amazing Happy Hour. The food, like this flatbread pizza,  was incredible!  

I can't fly, but I can move forward. That's the beauty of progress, as well as the relief of climbing out of the hole of despair after Henry abandoned me. I wish I could figure out why it happened, but like so many things, it will always be unsolvable. John has given me a definite boost in the right direction by finding all sorts of activities we enjoy doing together! Tomorrow we'll go to Seattle to walk the Viaduct and Tunnel, then Sunday it'll be the Superbowl. I'm not into football at all right now, but I'll root for the Rams because I despise the Patriots. 

The Beauty of laughter: This sign made me giggle which is always a plus! Ashley is back home in Poughkeepsie, after a "comically bad" interview at MSU. (her words) I don't think they even have a geography department, so she was interviewed by geologists and meteorologists, who had little clue of what she was talking about. She's a human (cultural) geographer who studies the impact of mining on the people, and on the environment (did I get that right, Ashley?). She's not into remote sensing or GIS, which "Graybeard" (the most aggressive interviewer) challenged her on. Why did they even bring her down for an interview? Sigh. This morning she texted me, "Every other guest I've seen at this hotel looks like they're either hunting or a meth addict." So, it's probably a good thing that she won't get the job at MSU, right? I was kind of hoping because the town looked pretty...

I saw this DVD at the store, and it was a reality check for me. I should have figured this out with Henry a long time before I did. John appears to be way more interested in me, and he's a good guy. There will always be stuff I'll miss about Henry, although I don't intend to discuss that on the blog. Beauty, connection and relationships are all in the eye of the beholder, eh?

 

The Fence of many colors

There's now just a small part of the original fence that Patt built 22 years ago. Although the rest has mostly been replaced, many of the old panels were used with new posts, then my neighbor added new construction, and my own fence guys created a mixed side of old slats with replaced posts and top and bottom pieces. I still remember Patt's confidence about the fence being a weekend job with his friend Jim. Instead, he discovered yet again that where we live used to be a quarry, and that digging those fence post holes would require an actual machine (an auger that you drove) and much longer than two days. :)

Here you can see some of the variety. The hodgepodge of styles and colors would have bothered Patt, but I'm just thankful to have the fence back up. I'm dreading getting the bills though because they will be hefty. 

Yesterday I dragged all this wood off the lawn, although I couldn't manage the fence panel. (too heavy) I prefer to try to be independent, so it's tough to ask for help sometimes. But I only have one 62 year old back, and I don't want to hurt it!

I also replaced this smoke detector(I have 8 so it's a pain in the you-know-what), even though the actual problem was a chirping CO alarm. It relentlessly and shrilly sounded every minute during the night, so it got replaced by a defective one that still chirped. I thought I was going to lose my mind, before I ended up tossing it into the garage! The next day I calmly (well, relatively) took it back to my favorite neighborhood hardware store, got lots of support and sympathy, and ended up with a new CO detector that is as silent as the grave. I was actually to the point where I thought, " So, I never used to have a CO detector, and if I die of poisoning, oh, well. At least I won't have to listen to that infernal CHIRPING!"

Right now we're having some of the most beautiful winter weather in the country, and I'm very thankful. The skies have been SO blue(not shown in this picture), the mountain has been spectacular, and the temperatures have been in the 30s and 40s. Crisp and clear, just the way I like it!

How is this flower still blooming in January? It reminds me of how resilient nature can be, and that I too can find color and beauty in the midst of winter. It can be hard work to look for the positive though. I'm concerned about my younger daughter who is in a new and ill-advised relationship, in my opinion. I worry about Ashley whose interview at Rutgers was eye opening and interesting (lovely people, great position), but ultimately unsuccessful for complicated reasons. She's now in Starkville, Mississippi for an interview at MSU, feeling tired and rather dispirited. Keep a good thought for her, OK? I wonder why I still care about and miss Henry, and am ashamed that I still think about him so much. Yet I'm a lot like this flower because I continue to bloom in my new life with John. For many reasons, he's such a wonderful gift, and I'm "finding the good" as one of my favorite authors recommends.

“I have a friend who says we spend the first half of our life building it and the second half preventing it from falling apart. I’d rather be under construction when I die.”
― Heather Lende, Find the Good: Unexpected Life Lessons from a Small-Town Obituary Writer 

 

Past, present and future

Having a blog is a fascinating dynamic because I can revisit many past stages of my life; I can read about how I was feeling(in detail because I'm open!), what I was doing and with whom, and truly get back into those moments. It is both a blessing and a curse. About a year ago Henry invited me to spend the night at his house for the first time, and we began hanging out a lot together; I was ecstatic, sure it was a milestone and a step forward in our relationship. It apparently just proved to him five months later that he didn't want me in his life. Sigh. But the present is so rich...

It includes a blood orange moon that I needed a better camera to capture.

The photos that Ashley sends me from New York are always a highlight, even though the kitty is grouchy about the snow and cold in Poughkeepsie. I love this beast!

John makes incredible dinners, and he never forgets how much I adore salads...

Greens, cucumbers, mushrooms, beets and feta cheese, it doesn't get much better for me! Henry was a fabulous cook, but John is no slouch himself. I need to step up my game!

John and I are on a mini-mission to see as many Oscar nominated films as we can, so we went to "Vice" yesterday; it was extremely powerful, disturbing, and really terrifying. The acting was definitely Oscar worthy! Then we headed for Half Lion Brewery for our favorite Alberts Amber Ale. The only food was from a vending machine, so we didn't stay past our one delicious beer, but I did take this photo to show my parents. Owens Meats is a family legend in their town of Cle Elum; Dad went to school with one of the "boys," Ray, who carried carcasses, and cut meat from junior high on. However, I was shocked to see their products over here on the west side of the mountains. I guess quality really does count sometimes!

The Tuxedo kitty was back today, and Mari was NOT happy about that. Like so many things going on right now (politics, daughters, relationships), I don't understand what I should do about this situation, if anything. I'm not sure when I should get involved, say something (or many somethings), and when to go from concerned to insanely worried. I'm sometimes overly focused on the past, while trying to rejoice in the present. And I do fret about the future, which I obviously can't control. Thus, here I sit, writing out my feelings and fears, just like I have in prior posts, going back to 2004 or so. I was a different person then, leading a life I wouldn't recognize, except that I can read about it on this blog. Am I mostly thankful for that? Yes, my past posts have shown me my own evolution, and strength. And as I read those long ago words, they've also illustrated the mystery, the agony, and the beauty of an unknown future that comes at all of us everyday.