Stargazer

Phase 2 of the Pandemic

Although it doesn't seem warranted or deserved from my observations when I rarely enter a store, my county has entered into Phase 2 of our re-opening plan. I would prefer my hair elegantly coiffed and in its usual sculpted style, but I won't be visiting my hair dresser any time soon. (Sorry, Tina) In spite of my love of mani-pedis, mainly for the relaxation, I'm staying away from "Perfect Nails" (My regrets, Mona) I dearly miss late afternoons enjoying a Happy Hour at various restaurants, and movies on the big screen, yet I plan to wait until I see the results of Phase 2. I have little, if any, control over any of these situations, thus I feel better exerting my power to stay(mostly) home. I do intend to start seeing more of my parents, who are 88 and 91; who knows how much longer they'll be around? As long as we're all cautious, I'll just have to hope for the best. My parents are much more risk takers than I am, so perhaps I should be worried about THEM infecting me? A former student, who is in her late 30s and lives in Brooklyn, is on Day 74 of debilitation from Covid19. Jean qualifies as a "survivor" but at what a cost. No, thanks, I'll keep trying to avoid this virus!

This will probably be my final photo of "Old Copper" for 2020. It's as close to statis as it will get, with a few flowers yet to open, but many falling. (my major gripe with rhododendrons!)

While avoiding the bees, I noticed that my firecracker fuchsia is also "exploding" with a few blooms. I only bought it for the leaves...

When I planted my petunias, I forgot about this hardy Calla lily. Now here it is coming up in the middle of this plant. I'm trying to decide if I should replant the petunia elsewhere. 

I also saw whatever these are on my walk, and found them pretty. Why is there one white one though?

Unfortunately, we have many litter bugs in my area! A photo of this can seemed appropriate for today's times. I wish I had had gloves and a plastic bag, so I could have picked up this trash, although there's way too much of it to carry home.  

A friend found some old photos (1975) of my late husband, and I was amazed by his hair, and his collared shirt. By the time I met him on December 31, 1979, he had John Denver style feathered hair, aviator glasses, and much more casual dress. To keep my mind occupied lately, I've been spending a lot of time reading. (Ta-Nehisi Coates' "The Water Dancer" for Book Club, and the latest Sara Paretsky mystery for fun) I've always enjoyed her V.I. Warshawski novels. Mari was disappointed in me today because I had a salad for lunch; she prefers me to make a breakfast sandwich or an omelet. She's become very good at begging for pieces of cheese, egg, ham and bacon! She's really going to be miffed when I leave for John's in twenty minutes. He finally replaced his iPhone 5 with an iPhone SE, so much of our evening will probably be spent admiring the new "toy." :)

 

Philosophies of the pandemic

Most days I jump between "this is time we'll never get back, so I have to make the most of it and enjoy as much as I can," and "this situation really sucks, and I'm angry about everything I'm missing out on, and how awful this is for so many." Underneath all of that is the fear that my caution won't be enough, and that due to some random interaction, I'll get sick anyway. Yet, as I discovered when my husband died, the normal crises and stresses continue, whether you're in the middle of a pandemic or racial protesting, or BOTH. Yesterday a close friend called me in tears to tell me that her beloved 42 year old nephew had shot and killed himself.  His suicide was nothing related to the virus, but instead had everything to do with a volatile marriage, lots of anger, and easy access to a handgun. (another huge issue in our culture, sadly) In spite of my own experiences with suicide, the only thing I could think to say was, "And we thought things couldn't get any worse..." Then, I simply listened. John also texted me that his older daughter and son-in-law would soon lose the two foster daughters that they have lovingly and assiduously cared for for several years, and hoped to adopt. The girls are going back to their mother, who has evidently fulfilled the requirements of the court--parental courses and drug treatment, I assume. I'm sad for John's daughter, who put her everything into those girls, and can only imagine her devastation at this news. Life goes on, doesn't it? We don't get a free pass, even though we're already dealing with so much. 

Enough philosophizing for now because this is time I can't get back. So, I need to focus on positives. I do think that my rhody looks good with the colors of my house, although I do wish that it would all bloom at the same time. Can you see the pile of flowers already on the ground? Ugh. 

This is why it's so difficult (impossible?) to predict the weather here. There is blue sky, but also poufy clouds, as well as those ominous gray ones. We were supposed to get showers today. As it turned out, the blue won. :)

I found these on my walk...

And I could have taken a rest here, but decided to keep going. Keeping going is my theme these days. I'm moving forward, even though my steps are miniscule, and my progress seems invisible. 

Power(less) during a Pandemic and Protests

As many of you long time readers know, I don't generally blog this much about politics, but since so much of what we're dealing with right now has been politicized, I feel it important to record my own "voice" during these tumultuous times. What can I learn from my feelings and opinions about these crises when I return to my blog from the future, if all I post are flower pictures? How will I see what I was wrong/right about? So, the protests continue, and so does the novel coronavirus. (not a good combination) My state is trying to open up, like many others, although our governor is being careful, too much so for many Washingtonians. I still believe that churches, hair/nail salons, bars/restaurants and schools will be our super spreaders. Even those churches that take precautions, and are in rural areas are experiencing clusters of infections. Just ask Georgia and Arkansas. In hair and nail places there isn't a way to distance appropriately, thus causing numerous issues. And France and Israel opened up their schools, only to have Covid 19 outbreaks. If only our masks would prevent others from infecting us, I wouldn't care what anyone else chose to do as far as covering their faces or going to a zillion public places; why can't it work that way? :(

Five years ago, I participated in a protest, which mainly meant standing on a street corner with my friends, and waving at cars. It wasn't stressful except when we got flipped off! Unfortunately, I'm not up for a large scale event where I might get pepper sprayed, or tear gassed, even if the cause is justified. Thus, I've been feeling powerless to do anything productive. Posts on social media accomplish nothing. However, I did contribute money to the Southern Law Poverty Center, and the NAACP today, which might make a bit of a difference. I hope so because this isn't the kind of country I want to live in...

I'm glad that I'm not the only one who finds this sight outrageous and unconscionable. These are some strong words and a much deserved rebuke from a well-respected former general and Secretary of Defense. I'm sure I wouldn't agree with Mattis very much on politics, but at least he has integrity, unlike so many in our current administration. Do I need to name names? ;)

When I'm not fussing over politics, protests and the pandemic, I'm admiring my one rose bush.

Or I'm enjoying this colorful beauty...

Or I'm wondering why the dianthus has a non-blooming area, almost like my rhody!

See? Another bald spot. And whenever I need some mental and emotional therapy, I pull up photos and videos of my grandson, which always cheer me up, even if he's crying or making strange faces. I wish I could share some pictures on here--maybe some day! :)

Cynicism during (multiple) crises

Today is Black Out Tuesday, and I'm seeing lots of participation, although I can't bring myself to join in. It brings back too many memories of other shootings of innocent black people where the outrage burned hotly, then there were few if any consequences. I also think about all the memes and anguish after school shootings, and the promises of change that have never occurred. People have been assassinated in churches, synagogues, mosques, movie theaters, concerts and malls. There are always powerful words, memes and statements afterward, but NO ACTION.  I would like to hope that this time will be different, yet our history is clear. Already, narratives are being twisted, many of the wrong people blamed, and the call for more violence from both sides is growing...  

Obviously, JFK never got to give this inspirational speech due to his assassination. For me his words still resonate, nearly 57 years later because this situation hasn't improved; in fact, it's worsened. Sadly, we live in such a violent society. Whenever Ashley travelled to Senegal (or when she lived there for a year), people thought I should be extremely concerned, and kept saying, "Oh, I bet you'll be SO relieved when she's back in the U.S." Sometimes I actually did laugh out loud. The U.S. is one of the most dangerous countries in the world! And Ashley lived in Los Angeles at the time too.

Yes, it's been a down day. I'm disheartened and discouraged. Yet my rhody continues to flower, thus bringing color and beauty into my life. 

Can you see who is happy though? The bees! There is a constant buzz around the rhododendron as they fly from flower to flower. I don't get too close! :)

At my car coffee date today, my friend gave me some of her homemade shortbread. Thoughtful gestures mean a lot in these days of virus concerns and civil unrest. I had one or two or perhaps eight (small) pieces of it! Speaking of eating well, my little grandson went to his two week old appointment, and has gained 10 ounces in a week. (now 8lbs10oz and 20") He appears to be a great eater! ;) The highlight of my day was FaceTiming with my older daughter and BEBE, who has the most adorable chubby cheeks. I love him so much! July can't come soon enough. 

Pandemonium or pandemic?

What should I write about for posterity? When I come back in a year or two (from the hopefully calmer and vaccinated future) to read these posts, will I wish that I'd written more about the George Floyd protests? Perhaps because I live in the quieter suburbs, I'm more insulated from the realities of riots, and looting. I have the luxury to sit in my back yard and contemplate my freshly mown grass. I get to enjoy the new normal of a car coffee date with a friend this morning, and have another one tomorrow. Yet I can't ignore that the military is being mobilized, and that peaceful protesters were cleared away (with tear gas) from the White House, so our pathetic excuse for a "president" could take "a Bible"(not his bible) to a church for a photo op. He is the least moral and religious person on the planet, so I can only shake my head with disbelief. I find myself shocked and appalled at his behavior and incendiary words and Tweets most of the time these days. As for the novel coronavirus, it's most certainly still there. I'll continue to wear a mask inside public places, and avoid crowds, in spite of the relaxation of some of our rules. I just think there are too many fires to put out right now, both literal and figurative, between the Covidiots and the protestors/rioters.  I'm feeling very sorry for our governor. :(

I'm not sure what's going on in Ohio with their virus restrictions, but younger daughter went kayaking, with her life preserver on. Even though she's 30, I still reminded her to wear one! :)

My apologies to my Edinburgh friend, Pam, who dislikes orange flowers, but the light on my Old Copper rhody was spectacular this afternoon. Plus, I'd forgotten what's hiding underneath it. 

Just when I thought I was running out of flowers...

I didn't think my Korean dogwood was blooming at all, but when I mowed the lawn, I spotted these flowers. I prefer pink dogwoods, but my late husband brought this one home because he'd heard that this type was very hardy. It's still alive after 23 years! Although I'm obviously extremely dispirited by the current state of our administration, I was reassured by these eloquent words I read today: ”I recognize that these past few months have been hard and dispiriting—that the fear, sorrow, uncertainty, and hardship of a pandemic have been compounded by tragic reminders that prejudice and inequality still shape so much of American life. But watching the heightened activism of young people in recent weeks, of every race and every station, makes me hopeful. If, going forward, we can channel our justifiable anger into peaceful, sustained, and effective action, then this moment can be a real turning point in our nation’s long journey to live up to our highest ideals. Let's get to work.” -Barack Obama

Crises besides Covid 19

America is burning, and perhaps it deserves to. 50 years have passed since the previous race riots, but we've still made little progress. Now we have cell phones that can record what's happening, but imagine the number of atrocities that occurred before that. No one would take the word of a Black over a police officer, or even a white person. Even now with clear cell phone evidence! It's frustrating when the narratives keep shifting: who are the protestors and who are the looters? Are they the same people? Many claim that the agitators are from out of town, that they are white anarchists, or white supremacists. Are the police themselves tear gassing and injuring innocent bystanders like reporters, and children? It's so very horrifying, yet also confusing! John and I watched Trevor Noah discuss the idea of a "social contract" that we all accept to live in society. It's supposed to insure protection and security, as well as law and order. Everyone should reap the benefits of the contract, but people of color see that contract as breached...not just once or twice or even ten times, but over and over again. Thus, why should they care about a social contract that doesn't appear to apply to them? Why should they respect the rule of law when the representatives of those laws who are designated to "serve and protect" murder them instead? Trevor describes it eloquently, and John and I were impressed by his arguments. 

Mari and I decided to watch the SpaceX Dragon hook up to the Space Station this morning, even though I'm NO fan of Elon Musk. John is a huge space fanatic, due to his nearly 40 years at Boeing and his work with missiles. I admit that I watched it off and on because I'm more of a coffee and word puzzle fanatic! :)

I did enjoy seeing them meet up with the other astronauts, although it looked weird that they hugged and shook hands. What a sad commentary on how this virus has changed our point of view on physical contact. :(

I'm hoping that the middle will bloom before the sides are dead. I'd like a photo with the whole rhody orange, which is probably too much to ask for. Sigh.

Some police departments(like this one in Miami) managed the protests well, and showed empathy and support. Our Seattle PD, in spite of an African-American female police chief, did not. 

And any time that Facebook friends share quotes from MLK about non-violence, I post this in their comments. 

I finally figured out how to express my feelings on Facebook, but my words are mostly other people's. Rightfully so, since they are the ones living with constant racism, and I am not. I'm a friend, and an ally, but I can't possibly comprehend their fear, pain and rage. I shared part of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's letter from Birmingham Jail: I must make two honest confessions to you, my Christian and Jewish brothers. First, I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Councilor or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a "more convenient season." Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.

 

Quiet during Quarantine

I've been too quiet during the past few days, when my voice has been needed. However, I am still speechless at what is going on in our country, trapped in 1918, and now 1968. As I mentioned to several friends, I was appalled when I read the original warning by the FBI several years ago, but I couldn't quite believe it. Now I do. As a small, middle aged(elderly?) white woman, I've never had to fear the police. I'll use the words of Martin Luther King Jr. to start my post because I don't have anything wise to say, and this quote explains the situation best:

"And I must say tonight that a riot is the language of the unheard. And what is it America has failed to hear? It has failed to hear that the plight of the negro poor has worsened over the last twelve or fifteen years. It has failed to hear that the promises of freedom and justice have not been met. And it has failed to hear that large segments of white society are more concerned about tranquility and the status quo than about justice and humanity."  --MLK

Yesterday, with rain and huge thunderstorms predicted for today, John and I went off the grid, heading up to Skookum Flats/Falls for a hike. For those interested in Native American words, "skookum" means "strong" in the Chinook language. The mountain (toward which we were headed) was spectacular, the sky was blue, and it was already getting into the 70s.

Taking a photo in traffic on Highway 410 through John's windshield was never going to be high quality, but still...

There were so many lovely shades of green, and huge trees, as well as the White River off to my left. We saw some enormous Doug firs, with which we "shook hands." Do you know that's how you recognize a Douglas fir?

This is a big boy!

In spite of his knee replacement, John loves to hike. He never complains, although I know it can be uncomfortable at times. 

We spotted the falls from below, although we hadn't hiked up the scary steep trail to it yet. Since I'm acrophobic, it involved a lot of bear walking, crab walking, grabbing onto rocks and branches, sliding on my rear, and near crying. John was very encouraging.

We did make it as far as we could go, then had our picnic lunch leaning against a rock on the narrow trail. We could feel the refreshing spray hitting our faces. I half-joked about where the helicopter could land to get me down to the trail. 

I strategized my way back over the rocks and slippery ground, although John did take a few too many photos and videos of me being a wimp. ;)

Is this my favorite photo of the two of us?

Or perhaps this one is better, where you can see that "Mari" came along with us on my shirt. ;)

John brought his selfie stick! :)

We left fairly early to avoid crowds, which was mostly successful. Just in case, we did bring our masks and sometimes wore them when people came by us on the trail. Unfortunately, the bathrooms were closed due to Covid19, but I did manage to sweat off most of what I drank on the hike. 

Since we were so close, we drove into Mount Rainier National Park, and to this viewpoint for another gorgeous view of our favorite mountain. Today is gray, and wet, thus I'm thankful for these special pictures and memories. What a difference a day makes. 

 

 

 

 

Chaos during the (novel) coronavirus

People of color being killed(essentially murdered) by the police, riots in Minneapolis, polarizing Facebook posts by each side, our "leader" tweeting outrageous messages, memes about seeing why football players took a knee, Covid19 spread...I could go on, but my brain is in a complete jumble, and my emotions are running high. Since today is our last sunny day for a while, John and I are going north to find a pleasant hike. That will take both of us away from the heartbreaking, frustrating and terrifying news. Although I'm paying attention to my world, I need to take a break from the insanity once in a while. In some comic relief...

On my Next Door neighbor site, a woman was outraged that her neighbors had cottonwood trees that were blowing cotton all over her property. Commenters pointed out to her (not so nicely) that cottonwood trees are everywhere, the breeze blows the stuff around, and that it's always an issue this time of year, especially for those with allergies. A few people suggested that she should move, perhaps to a state without trees? Washington is probably NOT the best place for her! Anyway, on my walk, I was inundated with cotton, and wondered to whom I could complain. Can you see it in my photo? :)

Since the weather is good in Ohio, these two are going kayaking. I hope Alison wears a life preserver! During these times of chaos and upsetting news, I crave contact with my family, and wish we could be together. I feel like we all need to be wrapped in physical and mental bubble wrap though! Now I'm off to prepare some food for our hiking picnic. :) 

The past during a pandemic

"You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land, there is no other life but this."
-Henry David Thoreau

My time tripping all started because I wanted to find a photo of The Playboy Pillow shirt from my post yesterday, thus I looked through many old pictures and blog posts. I was sure that I had shared a photo of the blouse when I bought it, but I have no clue what year that was! In the meantime though, I delved into many other old posts where I read about parenting teenagers(not always rewarding), and dealing with a sometimes annoying husband. I also relived many school frustrations, and enjoyed the stories of long ago trips for gymnastics meets and family vacations. I saw Ashley with dreadlocks, Alison with her gym friends, our long dead cat Kendra, and my own blond hair phase. (what was I thinking?) Although I never did find a picture of my blouse, I took a much needed trip down memory lane. It's important for me to remember that the past tends to take on a rosy and romantic hue; however, my blog from those years shows me clearly that life was full of angst and stress, even before this pandemic. 

Ironically, because I spent so much time looking for one particular picture, I have very few to share today. Don't you love the randomness of the coloring of these petunias? This afternoon, I had a distanced Happy Hour with a friend, and her lonely dad(who lives right next to her) came by for a chat too. Our daughters did gymnastics together, and her younger and my elder have new babies. So, it was lots of fun to share photos, although I didn't take one of our get together. :) And then on the way home, the views of Mount Rainier were spectacular, especially as I came through the farmland, with the mountain looming in the background. Did I get a picture of that glorious sight? Unfortunately no, since I was driving...

This was the best I could do from a stop sign. You'll have to trust me that even after 63 years in this city, the mountain took my breath away, as it always does when it's out. It's one of the most dangerous volcanoes in the world, but we who live in its shadow try not to think about that too much. 

 

 

Colors of Covid 19

Color me a bit blue since it's my favorite color, and my darling grandson is a week old today, but I'm not in New York visiting them. Feeling "blue" is synonymous with depression, with which I've thankfully never struggled, although I've had my down moments lately. (perhaps I'm more mauve?) In my internet wanderings, I've had to try to convince a right winger and her outraged commenters that a site she had linked to was satire, and that, as you can see from their "about us page," they're actually making fun of anyone who would believe the "news" they print. I feel like we're living in constant articles from The Onion.Do some people not understand satire? Then I engaged with a former student and ardent anti-vaxxer/covidiot who challenged me when I commented that I wouldn't be taking the bus anywhere since I'm trying to avoid people. "How can you avoid them while flying?" she demanded. Although I definitely saw RED, I was polite in pointing out to her that avoiding doesn't mean eliminating contact completely. Alaska Airlines has blocked out the middle seat, I'll wear my N95, and will do my best to minimize (NOT eliminate) my risks. Duh.

Speaking of red, I found some of my daughters' old make-up, and decided to try on this vibrant color lipstick. I used to wear red more than I do now, and when I did, I had a similar color lipstick. Oh, dear! It's definitely not my style these days. I remember being so proud of my favorite red and black floral blouse, until Ashley said to me, "Mom, no offense(watch out when someone says that to you!), but the material of your blouse looks like it should be used for pillows in the Playboy mansion." Instead of being offended, I got a case of the giggles every time I saw myself in it afterward, and eventually had to get rid of it. By the way, the lipstick and other ancient make up is now in the trash. 

In favorite colors for flowers, this deep purple ranks in my top three. My late husband planted these bearded irises (lavender and this color) for our daughters, thus it seems appropriate that I brought them into the house to enjoy. They were so heavy that they were falling down, plus I want to enjoy their last blooms without having to go into my back yard. :)

I also love multi-colored flowers!

The sides (but not the front) of my Old Copper rhody are blooming. Perhaps I should dead head this year? In daughter news, parenting from thousands of miles away can be challenging and stressful, but I always try to say the "right" things, with empathy, understanding and especially love. Lots of love. Or I simply shut up and listen, which is probably even better. :)