Stargazer

Sunny Sights

Although it isn't all sweetness and light in my life (estrangements, poor decision-making, specific concerns about the future), I've been immersed in the summery weather and reveling in the freedom to eat and drink WHATEVER I want. Yesterday, John and I visited Older Daughter and family where we had this incredible meal. Before and after dinner, there was much baby holding, kissing of soft cheeks, reading and playing with Bigger Guy (new name?) and tasty amber ale. My son-in-law has excellent taste in beer! Like me, he despises IPAs. :)

Then today, here I am in my warm and bright car, waiting for Younger Daughter outside British Bites. We had a lovely lunch and some French press coffee, afterwards enhanced by the Mini-Victoria sponge (raspberry) and a macaroon tart. We're starting to talk more about Grandson #3's needs which feels a bit overwhelming. He's arriving around September 2nd, believe it or not! There is so much to do and buy before then...

Old Copper is full of flowers although she's a little bald in the front. I haven't deadheaded for three years (or so) yet she still blooms like this! Here's a close-up:

She's not really pink, or orange or coral. She's a bit of everything. 

Although my white dogwood appears unimpressive, it's special to me since it was another gift from my late husband. Eyeing it critically, it definitely needs shaping! 

When the sky is so blue and cloudless, it means that Tahoma (and all the other mountains) are OUT! Yes, I'm definitely on Team Tahoma; if you are curious about why, this article clearly explains the situation. For those who don't feel like reading it, George Vancouver named the mountain after an insignificant English naval officer named Peter Rainier Junior. The closest that Admiral Rainier got to the mountain was a trip to the East Coast to fight for the British in the Revolutionary War. I'm 100% in favor of changing its name, but it's probably not going to happen. Sigh. On the schedule for this week: a coffee date to treat my newly 70-year-old friend to a birthday coffee (tea in her case), another date at a local bakery to discuss kids and life with a blogger buddy who has become a friend, and a weekend camping trip to the Dalles with John and his younger daughter and family. It's going to be a busy week, just the way I prefer it!

 

Over and Out

In a punny sense, I'm relieved that the colonoscopy is behind me AND in my rear view mirror. LOL, is a pun really the lowest form of humor? I think not. A few final notes on the procedure: the fluid drinking at 2 a.m. was every bit as brutal as I imagined, plus I got little to no sleep between trips from the couch to my new "best friend." With about an inch of the vile Gatorade left, I gave up; as it turns out my preparation was excellent, unlike the older gentleman ahead of me who was sent home with more laxative because he hadn't done it correctly. I felt so sorry for him; I had eavesdropped and heard him quaver that he lived alone. As a younger (?) person, even I had to re-read the directions numerous times, thus I can understand forgetting a step. Speaking of forgetting, the anesthesiologist slipped the cannula in, then said, "When you wake up, you'll be in recovery." My response: I have a cold tickle in my throat. The next thing I knew...I was groggily looking around from my bed in a cubicle, wearing a blood pressure cuff and with an IV in my arm. The hunky gastroenterologist found one miniscule polyp (hate that word!); depending on its type, I'll be on the five-year plan or the seven year one. I'm hoping for seven!

Since I was shaky from lack of food and craving my mocha, Jahn/John rushed me down to the closest Starbucks for our favorite breakfast sandwich and drinks. SO delicious, and I ate at the approximate speed of light. ;)

I couldn't wait to get out on the road for a walk, far away from my toilet house! 

I can now eat anything I want like these strawberries I've been eyeing on my two plants. (the skinny ones are the pink flower ones) Today I received a sweet thank you from the graduating senior who won my late husband's scholarship at our alma mater. It's one of the biggest ones given at $1,000. Hopefully, that will be enough to buy a book. Sigh. She's attending Harvey Mudd (wowsa!) and will study engineering and fine arts. Since when did Harvey Mudd have fine arts? Becoming nostalgic, I thought about when I graduated from the same high school; I got several scholarships, totaling about $700. That was more than enough to pay my year's tuition of $188 per quarter at the University of Washington. I also worked in two food processing plants during the summers; it was pure drudgery but lots of overtime. Ask me anything you want to know about weighing raspberries or producing pickles. :) The couple thousand I earned paid for tuition and a quarter (or two) of my room and board. These days summer jobs couldn't come close to that! For many reasons, I feel concerned and stressed for today's young people, facing an expensive and increasingly automated world, full of true nut cases in positions of power. I'm sad for all of us. 

 

Preppin'

Today I'm simply hanging out with my cat and my colon. Add in chicken broth, popsicles, and lots of my water enhancer drinks. I'm an obsessive rule follower so it's tempting not to get up at 2 a.m. for the second half since (TMI) the aforesaid colon appears to be completely clear. 

Still Life: Procedure Prep Photograph

A blue raspberry popsicle for breakfast. 

I winced at the irony of drinking the Gatorade "mix" in my Mac and Jack's glass. Thankfully, it was only a quart of the stuff, which isn't sickening but sure isn't my favorite amber ale. The straw helped! However, the fact that I followed their directions and only chilled it for a couple hours didn't; I think it would have been better colder. I'm sure that next (chillier) quart will be much tastier at 2 a.m. :(

As for Mari, she's keeping her distance from this procedure although not quite this far away. Again, TMI, I've had to kick her quickly off my lap too many times today. She's perturbed. 

Although I've..er...had to stay close to the house, I did go outside to admire Old Copper. In the process, I got dive bombed by an army (air force?) of bees. They love this rhody! 

I also checked on the strawberries which are coming along nicely. 

If I ever complain about my back, my readers have permission to remind me of this photo from Sunday where I'm flipping Little Guy up and down. It's undoubtedly not the best activity for a nearly 67-year-old back but oh is it ever delightful to hear him giggle. I'll be signing off now to wallow in misery continue my evening "pursuits."  

 

Weekending

It wasn't the prettiest day for a bike ride although I much prefer partly cloudy and 70 for exercising, if you can call e-bikes that. I really do try to avoid using the power assist, but our area is extremely hilly and we are old middle-aged. There were SO many sailboats out; too bad the trees blocked them. Once again, the rusty rider (moi) nearly threw myself over the handbars with the throttle and couldn't remember whether the higher number gears made it easier or harder to pedal. No worries, I eventually figured it all out. :)

 

We had a great ride, EXCEPT when we had to venture onto the road between non-motorized trails. Cars are terrifying! We did part of Five Mile Drive at Point Defiance (no cars), then made our dangerous way through the zoo parking lot, out the exit, along Dune Park (gorgeous) and finally ended up at the Rose Garden. John came within inches of getting nailed by a guy who pulled into a parking spot right in front of him and I was nearly backed into several times in the zoo parking lot. Luckily, the bikes have excellent brakes. 

John kindly offered to watch the bikes so that I could tour the Rose Garden. Or was he actually wanting a little nap? He knows that I love to sniff the flowers and exactly which ones I'll take photos of. After almost five years together, I'm predictable!

 

Orange and coral are my favorites, especially if they're two tone. 

I like lots of petals too, as well as designs on them AND several different colors. A perfect look, don't you think?

I could have taken 1,000 photos and shared a hundred of them, but that would make this entry too long. Besides, I'm having some issues inserting pictures into posts and generally struggling with typepad in general right now. It took me two days and eight tries (copy and paste, re-insert photos one by one, re-type the whole post) to get my last post to publish. If it happens again, I just don't know. Blogging has always been fun for me, so if it becomes a frustration instead...

Besides flowers John and I saw many turtles. There were numerous birds too, even some eagles. The clouds cleared, it warmed up a little, and we were still alive after our car encounters--what a beautiful day! 

Younger Daughter has finally come "out" on social media, surprising many people, even a few friends. (who weren't happy with me, sigh) By the way, for those who were curious about Younger Daughter's Hawaii accommodations, the Airbnb car doubled as a "camper" in a campground with facilities and as a rental car; for four days it cost $700. That's a steal for anyplace, especially Maui! Also for those who wondered, I am on the colonoscopy 5-year plan because I had polyps the first time. Without going into TMI detail, I also have another problem caused by birthing two children that can cause suspicion among gastroenterologists. Enough said? So, it's not that high a price to pay to drink the 64 ounces of enhanced Gatorade (half per session), take two sets of two pills, restrict my diet, survive for one day on non-red or purple popsicles and other clear liquids and spend a sleepless night in the bathroom. I did that a few times in college and NOT for health-related reasons! 

Even though he didn't care about decorating his grave at the cemetery, I think my irises look nice and that he would appreciate the thought. He always loved deep purple flowers. 

A Day in the Life

I'm full of dread over my colonoscopy next Thursday; the idea of the prep is daunting, and the restrictions are intimidating to keep track of. Happily, John is coming over tonight and we're going to splurge on LOTS of vegetables, some pizza and two beers apiece. What a life, eh? Soon I'll be in no fiber, nuts, raw vegetables or fruits mode, and Wednesday...well, I don't even want to talk about it. How many synonyms for horrible can you think of?

 

 

I've been getting ready for his visit by mowing the lawn and moving the flowers up on the deck (which needs work, I know). I cleaned off my glass table too; I'll put the cushions on the chairs tomorrow since I don't leave them out to collect moisture or bird crap. They were expensive, thus I don't feel like replacing them! Tomorrow we're headed over to his younger daughter's place at 9 a.m. because that was the only time she could "fit him in for a couple hours." I couldn't read the tone in his text very well; for easy-going John he seemed a little disgruntled. I would have been! The poor guy has been gone for a month and hasn't seen those granddaughters for longer than that. I would never ask although I'm curious about how much time that daughter and family spend with John's ex-wife and her husband's parents. Yet whenever they need help with household projects, guess who they call? I was never divorced so I undoubtedly don't understand the politics and juggling of the people and situations. Perhaps there is drama in every family? Mine included of course.

 

 

Although my back yard looks reasonably nice, the neighbor is having work done in his master bathroom; he's quite unhappy that the workers left the old bathtub in our shared grass. It just makes me laugh and joke around about turning it into a planter. Another neighbor recently suffered a massive leak from a pipe breaking, so my cul-de-sac should properly be known as Plumbers' Plaza these days. 

 

 

In my front yard I noticed that Old Copper, my sole rhododendron, is getting ready to bloom. As for the bearded irises in the back, a number of them will be going up to the cemetery, even though none of the recipients died in battle. The trip is partly because my mom can't handle bending over to put the flowers in the cups/vases and also because we haven't been up there for a while. Plus, it's Memorial Day weekend and one of my late brothers would have been 62 on May 10th. As for my husband, he told me clearly when he was dying that if I placed anything at his grave, it would be for ME, not for him--since he would be dead and oblivious. For me, I'm decorating his niche with two irises: the deep purple and the light one, both of which he planted a lifetime ago for each daughter.

 

 

Speaking of daughters, Younger Daughter is on a quick budget trip to Maui. Did you realize that you could rent an Airbnb car for a campground? I did not, nor would I be interested! I'm more the swanky hotel type. ;)

 

 

I've been admiring their beautiful photos though. Palm trees and water are so delightful, yet I could never work in that environment. Palm trees scream out (to me) VACATION!

 

 

Like Younger Daughter, I love fruity drinks and Hawaii's fresh fruit can't be beat. In the meantime, I'm caring for her cat Carol and watching over her/my house. It's a nostalgic feeling to be back in the place where I spent over a decade of my life. They were mostly happy years, and the memories are precious. 

 

 

 

 

Feeling Floral

Alternate title: Feeling Foolish

I should have clarified in my last post that right before his party I had awakened the Birthday Boy from a sound nap (he is a heavy sleeper like his mother and my late husband); he was groggy and wanted to cling to me for a while. If you were to ask him, he would tell you that he LOVED his party. Playing with his friends, digging in the sandbox and the rocks, eating his cupcake on my lap, running around the yard, etc. I shouldn't have given the impression that he was cranky the whole time although like most 3-year-olds, he had his moments. So did I for that matter. There was one unnamed individual who droned on about various uninteresting things while John and I nodded a lot and gave each other a few "speaking glances." I'm a social person and enjoy the give and take of conversations. In this case, the talking was mostly one-sided. But I digress...

My plants bloom in stages-from the crocuses to the hyacinths to the tulips, then the irises, later the rhody and the lilies. The dianthus gets gigantic this time of year. I had a purple one too that my late husband pulled out because he thought it was dead. I was NOT happy with him. It's a very cheerful flower, isn't it?

I have a weakness for coleuses, especially the ones with unusual leaves. P.S. The reason I'm not showing my whole flowerbed is that the tulips are still dying and for the moment are unsightly. Once they've turned yellow, I'll clip them off. 

I don't have a clue what this flower is, but I'm attracted to multi-colored blooms, so I bought it. I can be quite abstract random!

I have three types of strawberries; this one is the farthest along. In a month I hope to be eating strawberry shortcake. :)

The lavender bearded irises are getting near their peak. My late husband bought these plus a deep purple variety to give to each daughter. I think of him a lot when everything is growing and flowering. He so loved spring. However, he also would be tearing up the beds to plant various vegetables and wanted too many pots of flowers on the deck and elsewhere. He was much more ambitious than I am! 

I do love this color although I have fewer of these deep purple ones. Hanging over them is the ginkgo tree that I've had cut down at least three times. It keeps growing back, even when the lawn care people take it to the ground and etch crosses into the stump. My late husband bought it because he loved the unusually shaped leaves, not realizing that it would grow fast and into our gutters. Its resilience has meant that I'll let it live...for now. 

Husband and I agreed about many things, but not politics or rhodies. Although I enjoy them on my walk (isn't this one pretty?), he wanted a bunch of them, and I said NO WAY. They bloom for a brief amount of time and are extremely messy. So, I have Old Copper which he scoured the town to find for me when I expressed my love for its coral color. 

This rhody belongs to a neighbor and has such a beautiful interior. On my agenda this week: Book Club tomorrow (yay!), a coffee date with a friend I haven't seen for a couple years (awkward?) and dealing with Mom. She's doing better on the new diuretic but is down to 117 pounds, a loss of almost thirty pounds in the past two weeks. What is that doing to her already weak kidneys? Yikes, I need to stay on the topic of flowers which is much more zen. 

Threenager

That's what they call them, and it mostly fits. People talk about the Terrible Twos, but in my house three was the age where I would have at times given away sold my kids on a street corner. Dirt cheap. So, Little Guy's birthday bash started with him in a mood, clinging to me, refusing to acknowledge his guests, being shy about his gifts and even ignoring his beautiful homemade cake. However, the other guests mostly had children, so they understood the mysterious three-year-old mind. A small friend from daycare even had a melt down when he had to leave. The parents, including me, exchanged amused and sympathetic glances. Although, sadly, there were people missing from the party, the group of friends, family and neighbors was large and overwhelming, intimidating even for adults. For toddlers, it must have been total overload!  

The cake was deliciously moist and chocolatey, the frosting soft and not too sweet; it was a work of art! However, Oldest Grandson only wanted the diggers off the top. 

The little Philistine preferred a Funfetti cupcake instead. What a travesty! :) John took many photos of me grimacing, like this "lovely" shot. In another one I have a horrified look on my face when I spotted John drinking a Spindrift beverage. I abhor sparkling water, even the flavored kind. I've had approximately a hundred people tell me that I haven't tried the right brand or flavor yet. Nope, that's not the problem. That stuff is vile! Speaking of John, there were many hugs and words exchanged. He gives excellent bear hugs and did tell me several times that he had missed me; he also talked about wanting to share travel experiences and take trips together. To make a long story short, we're in the early stages of planning a two- or three-day trip in the camper...somewhere. Hopefully soon. 

In a typically Margaret move, I stashed the breadsticks John bought me at the Cle Elum bakery in the car, then put my jacket over them. When we left the party, I managed to sit on them for the whole way home. Twenty-five minutes! The Princess and the Pea I'm not. ;) Oh, well, they still taste wonderful! 


 

Testing

My brain has been sorely challenged these past few days. As happens occasionally with my blog for no apparent reason, the comments have stopped coming through to my email. It seems to be only on my last post since I did receive a recent comment on an older post. In the past, I would have contacted both typepad and comcast who would have each blamed the other; nothing would have happened except my increasing frustration. So, now I not-so-simply try to remember everyone's email address to answer their comments, while re-reading what they wrote so as to formulate an appropriate response. Some commenters have email handles that don't match their names OR I don't know what their names even are. So...it's been a test of my memory and so far (fingers crossed), I'm winning the battle. However, if you get a strange email from me, that could be why!

I'm testing out these new Keen walking shoes; they're supposed to be the same as my old ones, but they're not. I'm disappointed so far. The heels are strangely high which throws my knees into a weird position; I'm also struggling with the wideness and can't get them quite tight enough. Without being grumpy, I'll just say that I HATE IT WHEN MANUFACTURERS MESS UP A PERFECTLY GOOD STYLE!

Older Daughter invited me out (actually my weed whacker) for dinner; in exchange for trimming up their yard, I "earned" this incredible Thiébou guinar with homemade Banoffee pie afterward. Little guy's Nana and PopPop are visiting from Iowa for his birthday and PopPop loves banana desserts, hence the pie. Have I mentioned what an excellent cook Older Daughter is? Actually, both daughters. The cooking gene must have skipped a generation. ;)

I persevered at the local hardware store, in spite of the crowds and the limited selection of annuals. Waiting until after Mother's Day might not be the best strategy! Still, I was relatively content to have SOMETHING to plant in the ground. Sadly, I failed my next test. 

There used to be a broken-down wood planter here, full of tulip bulbs. My front flower bed needed work before putting in the flowers. It was a two-day project that an obsessive person (moi) decided to do in one long afternoon. Without a wheelbarrow! I used my biggest shovel to empty the planter and put the bulbs in a couple big containers, weeded and de-mossed, broke apart the wood (avoided the nails for the most part), hauled some flowers to the back, dug out the rocky soil for my annuals, Preened, watered, sweated, tried not to mess up my back...then collapsed in the recliner with a cold amber ale. Well-deserved, right? As an added gift to me, a house-shakingly loud thunderstorm came through at 2 a.m. and watered my plants and lawn VERY well!

A few nights ago, John was being eaten alive by mosquitoes in Utah. He couldn't even leave his camper. When he sent me a photo of one of the critters, I texted back, "That beast has its own zip code!"

This morning he was stopped at one of my favorite bakeries, in my mom's home town--about 1 hour and 45 minutes away. Now he's home, which must feel kind of weird. He's been gone so long that I'm hoping it's not awkward when I see him. If I do...since his Subaru has forgotten him and won't start. A final note about John's trip: this has really tested our relationship. For the most part, I would give myself a B-/C+ although he would probably award me an A. I haven't texted him too much, have been supportive and admiring, and have busied myself watching too much TV and arranging outings with friends. The self-searching and neuroticism on the blog stays on the blog, although it gives me a starting point for any conversations we eventually have about how I handled his absence. Your wise and thoughtful comments have helped me process my feelings and given me strength and support. A heartfelt thank you to everyone! 

Hello, it's me, Margaret

I've often been Margret, and sometimes Margit, Morgrat, Margot and even one time Barbara. I was waiting for my mocha and the barista kept calling out, "Barbara, Barbara.." Finally, I realized that if you say Margaret fast, it might sound like Barbara? Anyway, in spite of my rather challenging name, I know who I am pretty well. I'm talkative but can be a decent listener. My students found me animated and dynamic, yet I'm sometimes reserved and quiet. Although I'm passionate, emotional and open, I am a chameleon who can match myself to others' comfort levels. And John is John, as many of you noted. He's not emotional, open or wordy. In fact, in some ways, he's much like the guy I was married to for decades and quite similar to the man I dated for a couple years prior to this relationship. I guess I have a type, eh? 

John is still sending me photos of spectacular scenery on his route back. I'm sure he'll have a zillion photos and stories to tell me. He's more fascinated by the places whereas I will press him to find out more about the PEOPLE. The Air Force buddies, what are they like now? Have they changed a lot? How is everything with the daughter and her family? Anything happening with the granddaughters? Do they call you Grandpa? Note: These granddaughters were fostered by John's older daughter (a social worker) and her husband; after over four years, they were finally able to officially adopt them. 

Most of the local rhodies are flowering, except my late blooming Old Copper. I love this one along my route; I'm not a fan of white, but the purple throat makes it so dramatic. I work at noticing and appreciating the beauty on my mundane walk from my house to my mom's. Even during the winter, there are things to see! The key is to focus on what IS there, not what isn't. That goes for people too, right? 

This was yesterday.

And here it is today. Sometimes people are a lot like irises in their complexity, their convoluted insides and their beauty when open.  

In Between

The tulips are in between life and death but aren't quite ready to trim yet. In other words, they're at their ugliest! Did you know that tulips are cold weather flowers?  In fact, if you put them in a vase, you should change out their water every day and use the coldest you can, with ice cubes even. I learned that from a former student's husband who is a tulip farmer in the Skagit Valley, home to a huge tulip festival. 

My purple bearded irises in the back are en route to blooming; every year I get ridiculously excited to watch them unfurl.  I'm feeling some Planting Pressure; it's past time to buy my annuals and find places for them in my still weedy flower beds. Sigh. Is it my advancing age that makes me able to keep up (barely) without having the energy or drive to do much more than that? The idea of major projects exhausts me. I wanted to go through my entertainment cabinet while John was gone, I intended to clear out my planter of dirt and bulbs, and I planned to weed all the flower beds. Instead, I mowed the lawn and weed killed the gravel, without accomplishing much more than that. Can I blame the heat? 

My mom has this vibrant orange azalea while my late blooming Old Copper rhododendron has barely started budding. Also in transit is John, on his way back from El Paso and stopped near the incredible Monument Valley in Utah. After not hearing from him since Sunday, I was a little peeved sad, especially since he hasn't told me once during his month away that he missed me. And he probably hasn't since he's been busy with his Air Force guys and then his older daughter and family. John isn't only able to compartmentalize emotions, but people as well. I have my own (small?) box labelled "Girlfriend." Yet he also texted me as soon as he had cell service, then Face Timed to show me the gorgeous scenery. I hope he took some photos because oh, my, the light on those buttes was breathtaking!

Little Guy is having his third birthday soon, so his extremely artistic mother made his invitations; have I mentioned how gifted she is? I dismissively told my mother that these decorative construction vehicles had been copied off the internet whereas in reality, Older Daughter drew them freehand. Perhaps instead of getting her PhD she should have gone to art school? However, I'm glad that she's finding ways to use her talents! Note: Except for her love of languages and writing, she inherited none of these gifts from me. 

The Great White Whale is dwarfed by the rocks!

Knowing my love of flowers (and orange), John wanted to show me some of the many blooming there! I'm hoping for safe travels to him as he makes his way home.