Stargazer

Sweaty September

"So, often times it happens that we live our lives in chains, and we never even know we have the key." the Eagles

In a shock to many people, the Eagles are one of my least favorite bands and "Hotel California" can drive me quickly out of a room. Twangy country music can also, but that's another story. These Eagles' lyrics got me pondering my own chains and the doors I've opened...or the ones I've locked. Since I was writing about choices and decisions yesterday, the ideas were fresh in my mind. So, I added these imaginary words to the quote: It's not always a key to release us from something, but a key into something. We allow ourselves to be locked in AND locked out. Then I went down the not-so-merry mental path of wondering what I'd locked myself away from. That year in France where I should have studied after college. The trip never taken, the relationships not pursued, the challenges never attempted because of fear, etc. However, I also feel proud of the scary roads I have taken: dating at 59 after a span of 36 years, traveling by myself to faraway places, and navigating widowhood and girlfriendhood (is that a word?). I'm definitely an OVERTHINKER--can you tell?

Speaking of decisions, we randomly threw together a Family Dinner yesterday...in spite of a Saturday health scare from Little Guy, and an unknown menu (pizza, crudités and ice cream--simple but tasty). The evening was full of hilarity when one of the pizzas tried to fall through the rack of the oven and ended up mauled rescued, when we discussed our favorite holiday (s) and when we shared the ensuing funny/sad/ interesting memories from those times. Grandson is laughing at us laughing! Random question: doesn't my mom look great for 90? She had a wonderful time; she loved getting out of her house, being around people, and savoring hugs from her great-grandson. Results of our informal Holiday poll: Younger Daughter-Christmas although gift giving is stressful for her, Older Daughter-Thanksgiving because she enjoys the message of gratefulness and loves cooking, me-Thanksgiving since I'm terrible at choosing gifts but excellent at eating, Son-in-Law-hates every holiday yet puts on a happy face for his wife and son, John-not a holiday guy and doesn't have a favorite, not surprising for a non-demonstrative type and Mom-she's on Team Son-in-Law because holidays were always LOTS of work for her and she seems relieved now to be past having to put on the celebrations. How about my blog friends--any preferences? Those of us who don't enjoy Christmas dislike the commercialization, the insanity of starting Xmas shopping and movies in July and the pressure to be jolly. We did agree that baking cookies, pretty trees and lights, games and time with the family and Christmas music (not the kitschy kind) make the holiday special. Thus, those positives are what we'll focus on; we can lock away songs like "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" while opening the door to new types of Christmas treats. I've always wanted to try Spritz cookies...

It seems strange to discuss the holidays, but Halloween is coming up. (no one's favorite in my family but it's apparently quite popular these days) It certainly doesn't feel like the end of September though with temperatures in the high 70s to mid 80s. I was very sweaty today on my walk! Or was I glowing? :)

Randomly Yours

It couldn't have been better autumn weather today; we had a fall breeze combined with 75-degree sunshine. My 15,000 steps felt great! Yet I've also felt unsettled and at loose ends most of the day. Younger Daughter has dropped off the grid. Older Daughter and her husband are dealing with a feverish toddler and some emotional decisions about whether to change daycare centers. It's normal yet poignant when your children find out that making choices as an adult can be utterly terrifying and are 100% unsure that they're doing the right thing. What is the "right thing" by the way? Is it judged by the short term or long term? Perhaps what seemed like an awful decision turns out to be the correct path a few years (or many years) down the road. Don't ask me. I've lived on this planet for 66 years and STILL haven't figured it out. 

I'm seeing more red in the trees. I'm also seeing "red" over constant political complaints about prices. Don't people realize that inflation and high gas prices are world-wide? It's global, not national. I sympathize with the struggles many families are having but it's not just here in the U.S. Imagine having to deal with this enormous jump in energy costs in the U.K. Or think about my mom and me sitting for hours in lines when there was a gas shortage in the '70s. We sometimes couldn't find ANY.  We had to cut back on our driving. We couldn't make frivolous trips or purchases that we didn't need. Those were not the best of times.  

On the plus side I scored a free cat tree for Ziggy from a neighbor. Although I've been discouraged by the amount of mean spirited and selfish behavior in the world lately, there is still kindness and generosity. 

Older Daughter and family went to Titlow Beach and spotted some humpback whales (not pictured) swimming offshore in this vicinity. Wait, they just moved here, and they got to see whales? I'm feeling a little cheated!  

Since a couple of John's aunts and his uncle were visiting his mom, he headed up to Sequim for a family get together. Sister J. is here from the Midwest; she's a nun. Uncle J. is not too much older than John. There were seven children in the family, and one has died. The other two live out of state and one is a priest who's in very poor health. Naturally one of my smoke detectors chirped in the middle of the night and I really wanted John to deal with the problem today...so I'll just have to disable it. That makes three. I know I need to get new ones, but which kind are best, and how in the world do I attach them to the ceiling? These kinds of situations make me feel alone and helpless. I hate it. 

(photo credit: Tanya Marcoe) It's the last weekend of our local Fair (yay!) and its three-week run has benefited from gorgeous weather and renewed popularity in spite of the expensive rides and food. Now the town can get back to normal and I don't have to problem solve alternate routes to get places. :)


 

 

Toddler Thursday

Yesterday I helped John babysit his granddaughters which was quite rewarding. The 15-month-old was scared of me at first; she cried and stuck out her lip, but I can be charming when I want to be! Four-year-old granddaughter was a little more interactive and marginally more social, although she still can't carry on a conversation and is often unintelligible. It's hard for me when John notices and compares the 4-year-old to my 2-year-old grandson. I can't think of much to say at this point. When I asked the 4-year-old which Sesame Street character was the orange one, what her favorite color was or basically any other question, she ignored me. I feel like John wants to discuss this with me, and it's a talk that I don't want to have. Sigh. Since John didn't want me to run into his ex-wife (who was coming to take over from him), I left to pick up Grandson from his daycare. Except...the first location that came up on my Google maps turned out to be a different center. I kept thinking: this doesn't seem like the right way, I don't remember going here, etc. But due to my atrocious sense of direction, I kept going until I saw the freeway then finally realized that I was headed to the wrong place. It made for a great story when I picked up my Little Guy who was playing outside when I arrived. He jumped with delight, ran to the fence and was very happy to see me. Within a few minutes the rest of the children had ambled over to the fence like a zombie apocalypse. Oh, my, the unblinking stares. :)

Of course, I invited myself to dinner when Older Daughter mentioned quiche, one of my many culinary weaknesses. But get this: when I inquired whether she ever bought her pie crust, she answered that she never had. Whatttt? Are we actually related? Note: both have asparagus and goat cheese. One also has chard (from her garden) and the other has Beecher's cheese added. They were both incredible. I ate three pieces. 

For our next adventure, I was chosen by Grandson to be in charge of pottying. I loved the honor! He doesn't go reliably on the toilet but is getting somewhat interested in the process. During this time, I read him two books "Everyone Poops" and another whose title I can't recall. Eventually I got to...er...admire his production. ;) 

September is looking to finish beautifully, and October will start out with some lovely weather too. I need to start harassing encouraging John about doing more bike rides before the colder and rainy season hits. Which is usually soon. 

Septembering

I'm remembering last year when this month was atrociously wet; it seemed like we had jumped right into autumn...or even winter. 2021 had already been a miserable time due to the loss of my dad and the ever-present Covid pandemic. (not that the virus has disappeared at all and yes, I'm still masking!) However, September 2022 has brought us day after day of 70s and 80s sunshine, the gorgeous (nearly) fall that's often heralded the first few weeks of school in the Pacific Northwest.  

It's absolutely perfect running and walking weather. Although we're losing the light in the afternoon, I don't have to worry about that anymore since I'm retired! I can exercise (and usually do) in the quiet of the morning after working people and students have left for their respective jobs. 

The 44-degree nights mean that I'm seeing many red leaves on the trees and soon these maples along my street will be vibrant oranges and reds. I'll also be doing a lot of raking of leaves from my neighbor's enormous trees; most of them seem to end up in my back yard. Have I mentioned that next to dusting, I hate raking? 

I enjoyed watching this bee visiting my lone rose. Soon the flowers will be gone as the temperatures drop. Happily, during the cooler evenings I'll be firing up my coffee machine to make a pot of decaf, then will be sitting next to my gas fireplace with a warm cat on my lap. 

It's been an excellent summer for Older Daughter's garden; she grew everything except the peppers. Like her dad, she has a green thumb whereas I don't at all! Even my annuals aren't thriving; many of them are the same size as when I bought them in May. :(

Since it's nearing the actual start of fall (tomorrow), I've even done a little bit of decorating. Some Septembers I haven't done anything, yet this year I've found it highly motivating to have family nearby, some Sunday dinners together and a Grandson who is interested in everything! 

I asked permission to share one photo out of too many adorable ones; in the majority of them he was showing off his beautiful smile. It was so difficult to only post one! Finally, I picked this picture because it melts my heart. Note: I do NOT like the Cowboys, but Iowa Grandpa (Pop Pop) is a huge fan and loves to see him in this sweatshirt! Little Guy is between 2 and 3 and showing signs of those Terrible Twos; however, he's also a loving, intelligent and charming little boy. Don't you want to kiss those sweet cheeks--or is it just me? :) 

Reflections

Sometimes you climb and sometimes you fall. As I suspected, many people's high hopes for our professional football team turned to dreck after their second pitiful performance. However, John had pretzels and snacks, as well as a cold Alaskan Amber. We have to get the most out of those moments even if our expectations are dashed.

After the game, I changed immediately from my "lucky" Seahawks gear into my Crabby sweatshirt, although I wasn't a bit crabby. Taking sports too seriously is a recipe for disappointment, especially in this region. :)

Since school has started, I've thought a lot about my World Language buddies and how far we've all come since this picture was taken. There were so many storms we weathered together...with more to come. We've all had our exhilarating climbs with an equal number of painful falls. C'est la vie. (but I don't have to like it) I've also been nostalgic about these enduring friendships because I had lunch outside on the Tacoma waterfront with a woman I hadn't seen in nearly a decade. We met at Nalleys Fine Foods in the pickle plant while we were in college "a few years ago"; we were the only two in Sort (sizing different cucumbers) who spoke English in the break room. Shelda had (and still has) a wicked sense of humor and an infectious laugh. She's always appreciated my sarcasm and love of the ridiculous. Unfortunately, she lives in the eastern part of the state, so we rarely connect. Now Nalleys Pickles come from India and there is no more "24-hour Vine to Brine" with the plant running seven days a week during cucumber season. We still call that area Nalley Valley though and the section of Highway 16 is the Nalley Valley viaduct. My Dukes' lunch was one of the best things I've eaten there; sadly, it was a Chef's special so I'm not sure they'll offer it again. Here's the description: Lightly blackened Wild Alaska Salmon on organic bibb lettuce cups with homemade Caesar dressing, shaved Parmesan cheese and diced tomatoes. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I could eat this dish EVERY SINGLE DAY. 

I'm always delighted when Younger Daughter goes hiking although I'm terrified looking at how high she is off the ground. I couldn't do this if you paid me a million dollars. 

She says she was intimidated by this hissing marmot but NOT by the bear they saw. A bear?? Yet another reason for me not to hike near Mount Rainier...

Shout Outs

Heartfelt thanks to my Blogger Buddy at Riverbend Journal who has been helping me find out information on my mysterious father-in-law. My late husband was never interested in the disappearance of his dad or what happened to him, but I'm intrigued (sometimes puzzled) by people: who they are, where they go, what they do. Genealogy feeds into my love of solving (or trying to) these enigmas. Although we haven't yet tracked him down, there have been some known and unknown stories that have come to light. What an extremely "bad boy" he was! Perhaps that's why my husband wanted nothing to do with him?

Deepest Gratitude to Several Blog Friends like Joanne, Linda, Ally Bean, Jenni and Patti who have shared their knowledge about cheaper medication possibilities for Younger Daughter and how to treat rosacea. Now to see if the products even work! Fingers crossed that they'll be effective and that we can figure out a way forward. As always, my readers are full of sympathy, kind words and support. I appreciate you all so much! 

Although he doesn't read the blog, I'm continually (continuously?) thankful to John who offered to change out the batteries in my smoke detectors, dealt with the defective ones, and refrained from berating me that they were 26 years old and LONG expired. As is typical of him, he's now doing heavy research on-line about the best way to replace them. :)

In the meantime, I drove to Olympia to treat my friend to a birthday lunch at her favorite restaurant. It sits on Budd Inlet and has some spectacular water views, as well as a lovely and quiet ambiance.

As the first customer in the door, I snagged the prime table! My friend was thrilled with her gift of a 2023 Mountain Men of Alaska calendar. :) We reminisced about my visits to her in Anchorage (when she lived there) and my excitement when I first spotted the calendar in a coffee shop in Seward. Seriously, I'm all about the quotes and the people. It's not a "beefcake" calendar at all. There's a variety of ages and sizes of guys and many fascinating, often heartwarming stories. 

Since we were planning to share dessert, I opted for a lighter meal. The tomato basil soup and Caesar salad were perfect although the peach slump was a disappointment. At the ripe old age of 66, I've finally realized that I love fresh, juicy peaches, but I don't care for them in desserts. The vanilla ice cream was tasty at least! 

Ziggy, Grandson and I were waiting for my Son-in-Law to pick up Older Daughter at the airport when I spotted this huge spider. Whew, it's outside! However, the cat was disappointed because he wanted to eat it. Now that he's a Northwest cat, he can no longer snack on cockroaches or other big bugs. ;) Older Daughter's quick arrival home was a surprise since they (unbeknownst to me) live closer to SeaTac Airport than I do, plus I was expecting more traffic on a Friday night. Sweetheart did his little dance when he saw his mother, then ran into her arms for a big hug and kiss. He kept circling back in for more snuggles which was utterly adorable. He's very happy to have his mommy home as are the rest of us! Another shout out to my Son-in-Law who made the week as a single dad look relatively easy. He's the best father I ever could have imagined for my grandson. 

 

 

Miscellaneous Mutterings

Before we lose to the Forty-Niners, I'd like to write a few more things about one of my favorite football games EVER, the Seahawks one point win over Denver. The fans did boo RW and for legitimate reasons: he was the opposing quarterback, he said several insulting remarks about the team and the city (as well as lying about wanting to stay) AND he became someone the 12s could no longer admire or support. 

Although he's always talked in platitudes and given off a semi-fake vibe, he was (in the past) enthusiastic, humble and positive. He seemed NICE.

Then he turned into Mr. Hollywood whose top priorities were money, the MVP award and his "brand." And what in the h*ll is this suit? I'm trying (and failing) not to be judgmental. Frankly, our season will probably be grim but at least we'll take this unexpected and karmic win away with us! 

Yesterday was a delight! John and I surprised Grandson by picking him up from daycare. When he saw me (even masked), he started jumping up and down, beaming. Then he threw his little arms around me. The teacher said, "Grandma, I presume!" In the car he kept saying, bemusedly "His name ride in carseat in Mémé's blue tar(car)" I got to play with him, read to him, work on a puzzle together, bounce him on my legs (ouch) and enjoy every minute--even when he fussed. I found it touching when he did FaceTime with his mother and laid his cheek against the phone to "hug" her. She isn't having the best time at her weeklong retreat; the culture of her new job is disagreeable unfamiliar to her, plus she misses her family terribly. Awkward moment: John mentioned that two-year-old Grandson speaks much better than his four-year-old granddaughter. I think he's also noticing many other differences in physical contact and social interaction. Son-in-Law and I stood there silently with no idea how to respond. Most of my blog friends already know my opinion of this situation, but not being comfortable dealing with John's innocent remark made me angry and frustrated at John's daughter. By the way, isn't Ziggy adorable in the shoe basket? He's a handsome boy and SO friendly. 

After a crowded Candlelight Vigil last night, there are more "goodies" at the motorcyclist memorial. I'm hoping that this will be it and that the rough crowd who are mourning their loved one will fade away. Does that make me a terrible person? I'm putting this in writing so it's official: I want no roadside memorial. Go out and do something altruistic and kind for someone else. Help those who are struggling. I don't want candles or flowers. 

Today during my walk, I paused here to pick a few blackberries as the cars whizzed by. Eulogy: She could never pass up a bunch of succulent berries. :)

Mini rant: When my car thought that my Scentsy order and my purse were a passenger and the seatbelt alarm started dinging. Thus, I drove most of the way home with them on my lap. Major rant: When my younger daughter, who has always had the most beautiful complexion, finally got into the dermatologist to find out why that's changed in the past couple years. (rosacea as I suspected) The doctor gave her some prescriptions which Younger Daughter told me she wasn't going to fill. Why? Because they cost nearly $600. Long story short: I'm helping her out, the meds ended up "only" being $500 and I'm appalled at the outrageous prices of our medications. I won't get started on what my mom pays for her diabetic supplies...

However, I remain happy for strawberries in September!

 

 

Um...hmm

Yesterday I took off to John's in my "lucky" Seahawks gear (you can't see my team pants) but without any thoughts of a win. I was just hoping that they wouldn't get blown out of the water. To make a long story short, they WON by one point in a nailbiter, involving several attacks of nerves on my part. John is so laid back about it; he doesn't get very invested in the result of the game whereas I get way TOO intense and negative. Gotta work on that. If my team only wins one game this season, which is a possibility, this was the perfect victory. It was definitely poetic justice, karma, schadenfreude or whatever you want to call it! 

I mostly liked former back-up now starting quarterback Geno Smith's post-game remarks and his perspective on his ten years in the NFL. His best line was something like this, "They wrote me off, but I didn't write back!" However, I hate the all green uniforms which John described as "Highlighters." Being a bit of a pessimist, I think this win might be the highlight of the season although I'm hoping not. 

The motorcyclist's friends wanted to put up this memorial to him outside the fence of our development. The neighbor who lives there says they looked to be a rough crew and she wasn't about to deny them. However, that silver thing with clips is apparently a tool that's used to steal motorcycles and the guy was on a stolen bike. Appropriate? Yes and no. He perished as he lived, dying of speed and stupidity at the age of 45. :(
 

Guess What?

This soupy mess of unhealthy smoky air yesterday turned into...

Moderate AQI numbers today which meant...

Our kayaking adventure on Lake Tapps was ON! Little Guy did great: no fussing, no trying to climb out of the boat, and only a minor tantrum about having to wear a life jacket. Luckily, there was a really cool (and distracting!) orange whistle attached to it. There were hardly any boats out on the water, so we were relaxed and could take it slowly, especially since it was *someone's* first time in a kayak. Note: I will get the hang of which paddle turns the boat in which direction. ;) We even meandered over to a friend's lakeside house to say hi. Grandson fell in love with my friend's daughter; he also devoured the handpicked blueberries they presented him with. Thank you for taking this precious photo, Debbie! Depending on the weather and wildfires, I'll gladly go kayaking again, even though my arms are going to ache tomorrow. 

Guess who didn't like Grandson hanging around so much at HER house? My sweet little guy would really like to make friends with my demon kitty, "Hi Mari!" (waving) Unfortunately, Mari will have none of it. She's a one-person cat and I'm that person, for better or for worse. 

The Un-Kayak Woman

One of my long-time blog friends goes by the handle Kayak Woman, but I am definitely the opposite as I will explain. in 2008, my now late husband and I became empty (ish) nesters and often discussed how we would spend our new recreational time. (versus gymnastics practices, meets, travel to aforementioned meets, dance classes and recitals, choir concerts, art shows, etc.) Since we owned property on an island with two lakes, one of them a peaceful non-motorized one, we decided to buy kayaks. Disclosure: I live in a state with water everywhere but am a little scared of it since I'm not a strong swimmer. Thus, I had never been in a kayak! However, before we could buy our boats, my husband got sick. Many people prayed that it wasn't cancer (it was), then that it wouldn't be very advanced (it was) and finally that he would be cured. (he wasn't). So, instead of kayaking on Lakes Florence and Josephine on Anderson Island, we were suddenly busy with oncology appointments, scans, chemo, hospital stays and lots of very un-fun activities. Spring forward to current events: When Older Daughter suggested going kayaking this weekend before she headed to a retreat in San Diego for her new job, I was hesitant, yet delighted. I would finally be able to realize that long-ago dream! 

Unfortunately for our kayaking plans, the predicted wildfire smoke has been rolling in all day from Eastern Washington, Canada and Montana, and now we're looking at a day or two of unhealthy air quality. In other words, the whole weekend. :( I'm not bitter. Stuff happens--good and bad, expected and unexpected. I've learned to "go with the flow," as my late husband used to advise the much more uptight me. However, I had to roll my eyes over the Next Door idiots neighbors who were utterly SHOCKED about the smoke, in spite of the barrage of information on the news and weather sites. Quote: "I don't watch the news because it's all bad and not even true!" I had to physically restrain myself from typing an incredulous and snarky comment. But since this smoky weather will probably cancel our kayaking, should my new nickname be Un-Kayak Woman? ;)

On my walk today I was wearing my Superbowl shirt because Monday will be an important football game; our local team needs all the good juju it can get. Our now former quarterback defected to the team coming; it feels like going to a big party after a bitter divorce and running into one's ex-husband with his new wife. (I hope she's a dog) I instructed John to put our snacks in a different room in case I need to hide out somewhere away from the television. It's going to be ugly...

I'm glad my flowers are still blooming at least. Even when I forget to water them.