Stargazer

Adventures-Day 1

Everything went smoothly at the airport until I was walking onto the plane,when I suddenly remembered--oh, NO, I forgot my packet of money. So, there is an envelope with $800 in my bra drawer. Luckily, my husband had pressed that $400 on me, and I put that money immediately into my purse. Thus, I am not destitute, just feeling foolish. I then pulled out the card on the airplane to read along with the emergency instructions(yes, I am very compliant)  only to find after a few minutes that someone had thrown up on it. I carefully put it into the barf bag, but had to wait until the plane took off to go wash off my hand. EWWWW! Getting off in Minneapolis, we were evidently at a far off terminal; we had to traipse across an empty parking lot to a tram station to get to the main terminal. Have I already mentioned that, even at 10 p.m. it remains extremely humid here? (and there are swarms of mosquitoes--which Alison is allergic to!) We got briefly lost on our way to the hotel, and Bubba had to do some Formula One driving to get us off the freeway--actually it was probably me yelling at her, "Bubba, we've gone too far! Get off now! I don't want to end up in downtown Minneapolis!!" Our hotel evidently used to be in a GOOD part of town, but had huge groups of gangsters in front of it drinking when we arrived. (plus a cop and signs everywhere that guns were not allowed) I guess those signs must prevent that, right? Today we're up early after very little sleep(Bubba snores) and off to the Mall of America. I am hoping for ONLY good things today.  Note to self: Never bring a brand-new razor on vacation. Always pack numerous bandaids.

Wireless in Wisconsin?

I'm 90% over my emotional crisis of yesterday and 90% packed for our departure tomorrow. It helps that neither my friend nor my daughter is angry with me. I am still frustrated with myself though! I sure do HATE to make mistakes and hurt people's feelings. As for our trip, the laptop is coming with me, but if Wisconsin doesn't have wireless, I may be spending my time on it watching videos or listening to CDs. Blogging could be problematic, but I should be able to check e-mails occasionally. I don't have an address book on it, so I would have to reply to YOUR e-mails. (hint, hint) Our roommates will be Bubba and her daughter, Katie. (their last name sounds like Bub...) She is a lot like me in that she's a talker and likes to have fun. I enjoy her openness and good heart. I will have to warn her of a few things about me: 1. The minute I get up, I drink my juice, eat my breakfast,  and take my vitamin. From then on, I am on a mission to find espresso. (very single-minded) 2. I try not to speak to anyone in the morning until I have taken out my retainer, dumped mouthwash in it, and brushed my teeth. If you've ever worn a retainer, you know why.Blech!!3. I sometimes say outrageous things, even without drinking a drop of alcohol. Something strikes me funny and I have to share it. Most people find this charming, but some do not. Bubba likes this quality in me and shares it! 4. I can and will talk to anyone about just about anything. I meet all kinds of people wherever I go; I find them interesting. It embarrasses my children a lot. They ask me how I know the person, and I reply, "I don't! I just met him/her!" My husband is understanding of this quirk, although he doesn't share it. He claims that I can find out more about people in 5 minutes of conversation than most people can in several years of friendship. (he is exaggerating!) Speaking of my ever-generous husband, he took out his big wad of cash and peeled off $400 that he insisted I take with me on the trip. I TOLD him that he had already given me money, but he didn't care. I'm sure I will find a way to spend it--maybe I will buy him a cheese hat from Wisconsin...  Is there really such a thing?

Beware: Self-loathing drivel

Older daughter cleaned her room; you can now walk into it. It is a huge improvement, but unfortunately, she only did it because she was upset with me. I am feeling like a terrible person and mother; I do guilt very well. We have talked and I have done as much crying as I can do for one day--and apologizing. We had plans to go for a Jamba Juice today after I went out to coffee with a friend. I forgot that I was meeting the friend at a different coffee shop, so I stood her up. (too) Her voice mail didn't come through on my cell phone until evening, even though she'd called at 10:30 a.m. At that time, I was waiting for her at the other coffee shop, figuring that she had forgotten about our date, since I hadn't heard from her via e-mail. I then had to go get supplies for our barbeque; since Alison needed undergarments, I took her with me to a store that had both food and clothing. Ashley was busy cleaning her room, so I assumed she didn't want to go to Jamba Juice after all. I should have asked. It felt to her like I chose to spend the time with Alison instead of her; it was a mess and I was/am an emotional wreck about it. Logical and mature as Ashley is, she says that it was just a misunderstanding, but I am totally beating myself up about it. I told her that I really wanted to spend time with her before we left on our trip, and then didn't follow through, which makes me feel about one inch tall. Please don't tell me that I am a good mom--just let me wallow in self-pity and feel inadequate and horrid for a while. I guess I'll have to get over it eventually, just not right now.

Life's lessons

Just so you don't think I only post GOOD gymnastics routines, here is a not-so-great Download alisonbars_minimeet.wmv from someone who is used to taking 1st on this event. When she got done, I could tell by her face(mother's intuition) that she wanted badly to cry, but fought it off. She has never been a crier. To give her credit, her routine was fine except for hitting(tapping) her feet on the ground as she came around the low bar. (that costs her .5--like a fall) As our Y Nationals t-shirts say on the back: Sometimes the thrill of soaring has to begin with the fear of falling. A metaphor for life?

Happy 19th Birthday, Ashley!

I am the proud(and ancient) parent of a nineteen year old! June 24, 1986 at 8 p.m. after a vigorous aerobic class, I went into labor and at 3:30 p.m. on June 25th(yes, a LONG time), I finally gave birth to my incredible older daughter. You have read about her talents, seen her art, even shared in her graduation. I wish you could all get to know the unique person that is Ashley. I don't always agree with her, or her decisions (college, hair style, clothing, music), but I certainly am proud of the young woman she has become and her many accomplishments. She wrote this to her father for Fathers' Day on her clever home-made card: "Dad--Happy Father's Day! Thank you for always being there for me and supporting my art and other activities. I usually see you first at all of those things because you're always standing(probably so that it's easier to escape). It meant a lot to me that you were right there when we walked out for graduation. I love you, Dad. Ashley" I cried when I read it, but my husband just looked at it and smiled. I get teary every time she tells me she loves me because I am like that!He didn't need to see the words to know how she felt. They are so much alike, those two.

P.S. I went to Alison's mini-meet for YMCA Nationals this morning and she did an incredible beam routine. (wish she would do Download Alison-mini-meet.avi  at Nationals,but she will probably be too nervous!) Bars were not so great since she tapped her feet, but vault was decent. We will just have to have the attitude that we will have a GREAT time in Wisconsin, and they have good beer.

Tension

Alison and I are not getting along very well lately. It is partly the advent of SUMMER and partly her hard-driving personality. (now, who does that remind you of?) My blood runs cold at the thought of spending almost a whole week at Y Nationals with her, without the calming and rational influence of my husband. He is just one of those people who makes everything easier--he always knows where he's going, carries a load of cash, finds out where the closest stores and restaurants are, and defuses the fireworks between his two hot-blooded "women." (Alison and me) We love each other dearly, but don't always get along, especially when she wants to have something going every day and every night. (shopping, spending the night with a friend, having a friend come over here, etc...) That just isn't the way we do things chez Fent. Ashley is quieter and more compliant, so we didn't have to experience these battles with her. I have always been a proponent of," If your child is always happy with you, you probably aren't doing a good job of parenting." So, I will deal with being hated temporarily because...the house is cleaner! Yes, I accomplished some worthwhile things today. I dumped their backpacks into the girls' rooms; they can now take their own sweet time about unloading everything, but at least, I won't have to look at it. I cleaned out a bookshelf and a basket, went through a ton of papers, cleaned off our patio furniture, put photos in albums(long overdue)--basically, I just did those trivial, but annoying tasks that drive ME crazy if left undone for a long period of time. Tomorrow, I will be getting up at 6:30 to go to the gym for Alison's second mini-meet. They have two of them to get ready for Nationals; today I only caught her bar routine, which was long, hard and sloppy. (she tapped her feet so would have earned about an 8.8) As a comparison, in her much shorter Level 8 bar routine for Regionals she got a 9.5. So, I will not have any high expectations for Nationals, except to have a good time, to TRY not to fight with her, and to explore  and enjoy Wisconsin. (including their microbrews!)

One step at a time

I need to follow the advice I give other people: Take one step at a time. Yesterday was officially the last day of school; I worked diligently on crossword puzzles for the new Spanish book I am teaching out of next year. (one class) I went to the staff luncheon, which we call the Last Supper. Unfortunately, it will be the last Last Supper since the woman who has been in charge of it for several decades was involuntarily transferred to another building. (idiotic school district politics)  I was presented with a special award, "Tater 'Ho" because I always bum ONE tater tot from the school lunch people. I am famous for being a taterholic! I then had to rush off early to drive to gymnastics, hurried to get some errands done, ran around the house trying to do some organizing, made numerous lists of things to DO at home, pack for our trip to Nationals, etc... The lists are coming out my ears and I am starting to nag everyone to do my "bidding." Time to organize your room, better sort your shoes, how about cleaning up the bonus room--oh, by the way, you need to write a few thank you notes, etc... Although I did get up later today, then stayed in my bathrobe to read the paper and drink my coffee, other than that I have been just as Type A as I am at school. I'm sure than I'm driving everyone crazy; I'm even annoying myself. Yet if I go directly into my relaxation summer mode, nothing gets done around here at all and I return to school depressed because of the clutter. Where is my so-called happy medium?

My "baby" at her first dance

She used to be so little--what happened? Actually, I look at this photo and in spite of the glamorous dress, jewelry and hair, I still see the face of my baby. These two have been friends since first grade; they will attend the same high school and share a zany sense of humor. Dinner was at one of the girls' houses, then the dad drove them down to the dance in his van. (NO LIMO!) I also drew the line at bowling, but did agree to a Krispy Kreme doughnut after the dance. Parenting can be like a fencing match--complete with parries, thrusts, jabs and fancy footwork.

Here is a photo of the whole group with still-petite Alison on the far right in the coral dress. (on sale for $49, plus silver sandals for $9.99) I wince when I think of paying $67 for her fancy hair. However, it was definitely a case of that tricky parenting--I had already said no on the limo and the bowling. She does look adorable, doesn't she? Picking them up at 11 for Krispy Kreme will be tiring, but tomorrow is the last day of school and not too many students show up. Today we played French trivia for candy; that was a good compromise between working hard and just sitting on our derrieres.

Click on this photo(or the others) to get a better view of my "baby" with her corsage. My sister-in-law works at a florist; she called me on the spur of the moment to ask if all the girls had flowers. (two did and three didn't) So, she made up some beautiful rose wrist corsages to go with their dresses. Alison had never had one, thus she was fascinated with it. I also like this shot because it shows her elegant hair and the sweet curve of her cheek. I have trouble remembering that she's fifteen; I think of her as still being about ten. They really do grow up too fast!

My brain(?)

Your brain: 120% interpersonal, 100% visual, 100% verbal, and 80% mathematical!

Congratulations on being 400% smart! Actually, on my test, everyone is. The above score breaks down what kind of thinking you most enjoy doing. A score above 100% means you use that kind of thinking more than average, and a score below 100% means you use it less. It says nothing about how good you are at any one, just how interested you are in each, relatively. A substantial difference in scores between two people means, conclusively, that they are different kinds of thinkers. Matching Summary: Each of us has different tastes. Still, I offer the following advice, which I think is obvious: Don't date someone if your interpersonal percentages differ by more than 80%. Don't be friends with someone if your verbal percentages differ by more than 100%. Don't have sex with someone if their math percentage is over 200%.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 80% on interpersonal You scored higher than 52% on visual You scored higher than 70% on verbal You scored higher than 26% on mathematical

Link: The 4-Variable IQ Test written by chriscoyne on Ok Cupid I'm talkative and like people--this didn't surprise me much. I am more fascinated with math than I thought I was. Today is essentially the last day of school and Alison has her 9th grade dance. Tomorrow, I am hoping to come up for air!

Graduation day-2005

This is what we saw looking down from the grandstand. It's only half of them and mine is in the back row, second from the right. I didn't shed a single tear; I know you're as surprised as I am. I was too busy worrying about my mother-in-law who stubbornly climbed up too many flights of steps, had to go back down to the bathroom(escorted by my husband) and neither of them came back up. I was also occupied with the obstreperous behavior of the spectators. In spite of instructions to the contrary, THEY blew air horns, screamed, shouted, drowned out other graduates'  names and then didn't wait for the students to formerly recess. (as we were specifically instructed to do!) So, I was giving people the evil eye instead of getting emotional. Just call me Mrs. Manners. I certainly don't see how so many adults can criticize young people when they ignore the rules and the etiquette of the event, much more so than the teenagers. The graduates get an A+ for behavior, while the spectators(excepting my group and a few others) earn a D, if I'm being generous.

Here's the family shot; it was hilarious when I showed it to my husband. He is not a vain man at all, but has lost 15 pounds and said immediately, "I look FAT in this photo. My sweatshirt is bunched out. And I didn't have time to comb my hair. And I had stuff in my pocket." To do me credit, I didn't laugh or even smile. I just replied," I think you look GREAT!"

Speaking of a wonderful looking and happy group, here are the grandparents and the grad. After this shot, Ashley went off to her three graduation parties, the rest of us dined on Thai food, then I headed off to two of the parties. (Ashley called and told me that I was expected at a couple of them!) My husband and I had three teenage girls coming over to film an infomercial for English; since I can't drive his big van over Tupperware(don't ask), I was elected to make an appearance at the parties. I arrived home to find that the girls had used my new digital cam instead of the VHS-C; they claimed that the old one didn't work, although it did fine for me. That meant that I "got" to spend all kinds of time burning to DVD, which was a trip into Dante's Inferno; first the voice track didn't match the video, then when I tried again, it crashed the computer. So, I have spent my whole day trying to NOT throw the computer, the camcorder or myself out of the upstairs window. In the midst of all of this, my sister-in-law stopped by to pick up her Tinkerbell painting, and as you probably all predicted, she was utterly delighted with it. Life is certainly full of ups and downs, isn't it?