Stargazer

A semi-beautiful Thursday

I just spent five minutes searching on Google for a picture of Mount Rainier the way I saw it today, surrounded with a bright blue sky, and dominating the skyline. The problem wasn't that I couldn't find a decent photo; it was that there were too many gorgeous ones, but none did the view justice. If I were Allan, I would take my camera with me everywhere, and would have the lenses to take my OWN photo of our scenic mountain. I arrived home from my teacher inservice at a decent time to take Alison to her important doctor's appointment. However, up to fifteen minutes before we had to be there, she flatly refused to go. She has never been that resistant; she has indeed "fought" me on a few (hundred?) things over the years, but logic has brought her around eventually. I finally promised her that I would suggest to the doctor that she have a blood test, and not have to pee into the dreaded cup. So, off we rushed; in the waiting room, we giggled reading Highlights magazine for children, sharing the cute questions kids had asked, and trying to find items in a picture. (we never did find a few of them!) It reminded me of how much my daughters loved the "I Spy" series, and the hours we spent huddled over the pictures. However, when we finally got into the examination room, Alison's blood pressure was high. Normally, it's a ridiculous number like 80/50. But today it was more like 120/80; that's even a bit high for me, but VERY unusual for her. The result of the exam itself was that the doctor ordered a blood test. And Alison was delighted;isn't she a weird child? They are testing her for mono (no enlarged spleen in the physical exam though), cat scratch fever(no enlarged lymph nodes either), anemia, diabetes, and thyroid. And how did she do on the blood test,when the Alison-proclaimed "cute" guy stuck a needle in her arm? She was utterly perfect; she just sat there, relieved that she didn't have to pee in the cup, or the hat. (don't ask) The strange part was that when the doctor was examining her for mono, I piped up with, "PLEASE tell her that it's not OK to drink..." the doctor's head popped up, "...out of other girls' drinks at gym." He started laughing because he assumed that I would finish with booze;  at Alison's age, his own daughter had already been to rehab twice. So, now it's a waiting game on the results of the test; I hate the uncertainty of not knowing, but prefer to believe that all is well. Because chances are, she's FINE. Right?

The little things

Life is going well enough that I can now get annoyed by focus on the trivial matters around my house. I include these points that I would like my younger child to ponder:

• Why are there tweezers in my car?
• Does that deodorant really have to sit on the kitchen counter?
• Why can I never find any fingernail clippers until I sit on them?
• Is there a reason why you need all those dirty socks in your gym bag?
• Must we have jewelry lying around in every bathroom of this house?
• Could YOU possibly put our 7-up plus in the refrigerator to cool, instead of waiting for me to do it, and then drinking all of them before I can even have one?
• And why are you making such a huge fuss about having to pee in a cup at the doctor's office tomorrow? I'm completely running out of the sympathy I started out with...

Have I actually asked her any of these questions? Yes, I have--but now that she is done with her stressful AP English paper, and has a couple of extra days off (teacher inservice weekend), I intend to do a bit more nagging insisting. Those of you who have been reading this blog a while remember that last year had its tragic, and frightening moments at my school. I certainly hope that this isn't a precursor of more to come.

Little gray cloud

The sky is blue for me again, literally and metaphorically. I've been sunk in a morass of...self-pity, and general whinyness.(did I just make up a word?) I've had too many quizzes to grade! I've been waiting for to Ashley e-mail or call. Finally, she did this weekend, and we had a great chat. It reminds me of my own little gray cloud when she tells me how much happier she is this year. Last year, the sky could be breathtaking, but if there was one " cloud" up there, that's what Ashley focused on. It followed her all around, and "rained" on her most of the year. Yet this year, she has been much better at ignoring any "clouds" she sees, and has been concentrating more on the plusses of college life. For me, my cloud meant stresses with snarly Alison, and her tons of homework, a not-very-positive(ie crappy) day at school Friday, and worries about work, life, and parenting in general. Like I said, I couldn't SEE any blue up there, just shades of depressing gray. So, I did Book Therapy: an absorbing Myron Bolitar (Harlan Coben) mystery, then the latest Dick Francis. How can someone like me who is terrified of horses, and has been to one horse race in my entire life be so in love with Francis' books? So, I am working on looking up at the real blue sky right now, and will soon be going out for a run in the 66 degree sunshine. Really, could it get much better than that?

Just another day in the life

For some odd reason, when life sort of "falls" apart a bit, school is my refuge. The students are used to me, and I them. We're starting to enjoy the laughs and the bonding that have kept me in education for the past 26 years. It was heartwarming to get a very complimentary e-mail from a parent today, and a huge and enthusiastic group of students after school for our second French club meeting. They want to do crafts, eat, play around with art, go to museums, watch films, and are excited and energetic. Do you think that has anything to do with the chocolate treats that several of the members provided? As for my huge 5th period class, I only hear rumors from a student(via her parent) what might be going on.It involves splitting the class by bringing up a part-time teacher from a different high school. And the students are NOT happy about it; in spite of the class size, they want to stay with ME. I felt very special. Alison and I are in the midst of a complex negociation regarding her doctor's appointment. She refuses to miss school, so I have scheduled the appointment-to-see-if-she-has-diabetes-or-mono-or-nothing for next Thursday(a teacher day); in exchange she must pee into a cup, which fills her with horror. And I am hanging on to all of your words of support, plus this advice that one of my oldest, and dearest friends sent me via e-mail: Try not to worry about what it  might be, find out ASAP and then deal...just like you always do. 

More "stuff"

Is it wrong to tell an Internet friend FIRST about your child's health concern? I came home, and e-mailed Mary immediately, even before talking to my husband, parents, or brother. Alison has been unusually tired lately, even at one in the afternoon. Then today in the car she talked about how thirsty she is ALL the time. And I suddenly had a horrible thought, because diabetes runs in my family. I want to convince myself that it can't be that; she has always been active, a healthy eater, a talented athlete and musician. I don't want her to have diabetes! She is too busy being burned out on school, and sometimes on gym. We already have enough stresses around here! I have never considered her a perfectionist, but she was mad today about "only" getting an 88% B+ on her Pre-calculus test. Thinking about going away to college doesn't seem to excite her as much as it did before starting her junior year, signing up for the PSAT, and being torn between homework, gym, and friend time. Then yesterday, one of my most special students(I know we're not supposed to have them, but we do!) stopped by my desk after class to share that she has a brain cyst/tumor. She was very calm about it, so I was also matter of fact. But afterwards, I came home and cried, then called a friend who is good friends with the mom--just to find out the details, which don't sound all that great. The problem with getting so close to one's students is that news like this hits me very hard; this girl is like a niece to me. She is kind, intelligent, passionate about French, and active in numerous clubs at our high school. I can't stress enough that she is kind, versus popular--one of the nicest girls I know. You can probably tell that I feel sick about this. Literally. It has been hard to blog or be much of an Internet friend with all this going on. Please forgive me.

Weirdos--Part Deux

Stress? What stress? Ashley doesn't understand Econ(and has a quiz Wednesday), but still sounds upbeat. I would like to be able to help her, but that is not my area of expertise. She had a training for Pipeline, a group that tutors students in the Seattle schools. She is excited about starting Indian dance in a couple of weeks. Last year, she did Orissi, which became a passion, but now will try Kathak. I have already made my maternal speech about overinvolvement! But I don't want to discourage her from being so *darned* interested in life, and what it has to offer her, and she it. And as for Alison, it is going to be a rough year with homework. She has a ton, and is tired after gymnastics. Tonight she told me that she JUST wanted to go to bed, but she couldn't with three tests tomorrow. I am thankful for concert choir, which she proclaimed the "joy" of her life the first day of school. I still remember when I looked at her junior high schedule in 7th grade, and said, "I won't sign off on this unless there is a music. You have to choose either chorus or orchestra(violin) or both." She reluctantly chose chorus. Then three years later, she worried that she wouldn't have room in her high school schedule for choir because of the required occupational credit. I e-mailed her counselor; he told me, "Have her try out for concert choir, and sign up for it, if she makes it. We will work it out." Now, my child, the Concert Choir alto, is brimming over with love for songs like " Lux Aurumque" and "A Mighty Fortress." How many 16 year olds have those pieces on their i-pod? I guess she's just as "weird", but (I hope) lovable as the rest of this family!