The Journey

I've felt very untethered and lost today, wrapping my brain around some ugly truths. But I have also inched forward a bit by getting my first oil change in my car of almost a year. I don't drive much, can you tell? ;) I sent some much needed and satisfying complaint emails to the property managers of my rental, nicely worded but firm. Taking a bit of control over my environment felt powerful! I often wish I could be more philosophical about acceptance of what I can't change, yet my fighting spirit prevents me from that at times.  Because of that side of me, it's very hard to know when to give up on things...and people. Now, here's what has gone right in my world:

• Book Club yesterday was at my house, and my hostess tradition is always cupcakes, just because of their variety. Everyone gets what she wants! :) The support I get from these ladies is incredible; we've known each other for decades. Several were in my wedding. Others taught next to me for many years. We've shared the pain of death, divorce/partner issues, child rearing hell stresses, along with the joys of conversation, caring, and coffee/dinner dates. They are my tribe, and I value their friendship, much needed at the moment, due to circumstances, some of which you've read about, with other problems that I haven't shared here. 
• Without knowing anything about my pathetic life right now, a former colleague and lunch buddy invited me to coffee at his house this morning. I had his wife as a student, and they have an adorable one year old boy. Baby D. dances better than I do (as befits the son of two music teachers) and is so charming. I can't thank them enough for giving me someplace to be today, and for the excellent lattes and conversation.
• 
• I do love the miracle and randomness of people coming into my life and bringing me joy. Thus, I have to also accept the randomness of others leaving. I can't have it both ways, now can I? xoxo
   

Comments

[WanderingCyberspace]

I am so grateful for my tribe. It's always good to have people surround you that know your history and listen when sometimes we just need to vent. Thank heavens we don't have to wear breech cloths--but I'm thinking I would look pretty darn good in an Indian headdress.

[Margaret]

I am very thankful for my friends, both here and in cyberspace. I don't know what I would do without them! I hope I'm as supportive a person to all of you as you are to me. <3

[Liora]

That's wonderful you have such a big network of friends and support. Cute pic!

[mccgoods]

I’m sometimes stunned by the kindnesses of people that make me feel welcomed or loved or even appreciated.
I’m glad you are having people bringing you joy.
I have to take control of my environment as well so my anxiety will drop some. Sometimes taking control is easy like muting the weather man telling us it will be over 100 on Sunday. I get it it will be hot but listening to all the warnings have already made me super tense.
Sometimes it’s hard though like making those phone calls or writing firmly worded emails.
Xoxo

[Ally Bean]

I think you can have a fighting spirit while accepting the realities of life. I'm a mellow person, but a fighting one, too. I just pick my worries/battles.

I like your tradition of having cupcakes. That's smart and fun. Next time I find myself in the hostess with the mostess role I'm going to remember that. Make it my thing, too.

[Tonya]

I like the cupcake idea, too. I'm not big into sweets so my mind tends to go toward appetizers and cheese trays when I host Book Club, but cupcakes sound like fun.

What an adorable little boy!