Stargazer

Crises besides Covid 19

America is burning, and perhaps it deserves to. 50 years have passed since the previous race riots, but we've still made little progress. Now we have cell phones that can record what's happening, but imagine the number of atrocities that occurred before that. No one would take the word of a Black over a police officer, or even a white person. Even now with clear cell phone evidence! It's frustrating when the narratives keep shifting: who are the protestors and who are the looters? Are they the same people? Many claim that the agitators are from out of town, that they are white anarchists, or white supremacists. Are the police themselves tear gassing and injuring innocent bystanders like reporters, and children? It's so very horrifying, yet also confusing! John and I watched Trevor Noah discuss the idea of a "social contract" that we all accept to live in society. It's supposed to insure protection and security, as well as law and order. Everyone should reap the benefits of the contract, but people of color see that contract as breached...not just once or twice or even ten times, but over and over again. Thus, why should they care about a social contract that doesn't appear to apply to them? Why should they respect the rule of law when the representatives of those laws who are designated to "serve and protect" murder them instead? Trevor describes it eloquently, and John and I were impressed by his arguments. 

Mari and I decided to watch the SpaceX Dragon hook up to the Space Station this morning, even though I'm NO fan of Elon Musk. John is a huge space fanatic, due to his nearly 40 years at Boeing and his work with missiles. I admit that I watched it off and on because I'm more of a coffee and word puzzle fanatic! :)

I did enjoy seeing them meet up with the other astronauts, although it looked weird that they hugged and shook hands. What a sad commentary on how this virus has changed our point of view on physical contact. :(

I'm hoping that the middle will bloom before the sides are dead. I'd like a photo with the whole rhody orange, which is probably too much to ask for. Sigh.

Some police departments(like this one in Miami) managed the protests well, and showed empathy and support. Our Seattle PD, in spite of an African-American female police chief, did not. 

And any time that Facebook friends share quotes from MLK about non-violence, I post this in their comments. 

I finally figured out how to express my feelings on Facebook, but my words are mostly other people's. Rightfully so, since they are the ones living with constant racism, and I am not. I'm a friend, and an ally, but I can't possibly comprehend their fear, pain and rage. I shared part of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's letter from Birmingham Jail: I must make two honest confessions to you, my Christian and Jewish brothers. First, I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Councilor or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a "more convenient season." Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.

 

Quiet during Quarantine

I've been too quiet during the past few days, when my voice has been needed. However, I am still speechless at what is going on in our country, trapped in 1918, and now 1968. As I mentioned to several friends, I was appalled when I read the original warning by the FBI several years ago, but I couldn't quite believe it. Now I do. As a small, middle aged(elderly?) white woman, I've never had to fear the police. I'll use the words of Martin Luther King Jr. to start my post because I don't have anything wise to say, and this quote explains the situation best:

"And I must say tonight that a riot is the language of the unheard. And what is it America has failed to hear? It has failed to hear that the plight of the negro poor has worsened over the last twelve or fifteen years. It has failed to hear that the promises of freedom and justice have not been met. And it has failed to hear that large segments of white society are more concerned about tranquility and the status quo than about justice and humanity."  --MLK

Yesterday, with rain and huge thunderstorms predicted for today, John and I went off the grid, heading up to Skookum Flats/Falls for a hike. For those interested in Native American words, "skookum" means "strong" in the Chinook language. The mountain (toward which we were headed) was spectacular, the sky was blue, and it was already getting into the 70s.

Taking a photo in traffic on Highway 410 through John's windshield was never going to be high quality, but still...

There were so many lovely shades of green, and huge trees, as well as the White River off to my left. We saw some enormous Doug firs, with which we "shook hands." Do you know that's how you recognize a Douglas fir?

This is a big boy!

In spite of his knee replacement, John loves to hike. He never complains, although I know it can be uncomfortable at times. 

We spotted the falls from below, although we hadn't hiked up the scary steep trail to it yet. Since I'm acrophobic, it involved a lot of bear walking, crab walking, grabbing onto rocks and branches, sliding on my rear, and near crying. John was very encouraging.

We did make it as far as we could go, then had our picnic lunch leaning against a rock on the narrow trail. We could feel the refreshing spray hitting our faces. I half-joked about where the helicopter could land to get me down to the trail. 

I strategized my way back over the rocks and slippery ground, although John did take a few too many photos and videos of me being a wimp. ;)

Is this my favorite photo of the two of us?

Or perhaps this one is better, where you can see that "Mari" came along with us on my shirt. ;)

John brought his selfie stick! :)

We left fairly early to avoid crowds, which was mostly successful. Just in case, we did bring our masks and sometimes wore them when people came by us on the trail. Unfortunately, the bathrooms were closed due to Covid19, but I did manage to sweat off most of what I drank on the hike. 

Since we were so close, we drove into Mount Rainier National Park, and to this viewpoint for another gorgeous view of our favorite mountain. Today is gray, and wet, thus I'm thankful for these special pictures and memories. What a difference a day makes. 

 

 

 

 

Chaos during the (novel) coronavirus

People of color being killed(essentially murdered) by the police, riots in Minneapolis, polarizing Facebook posts by each side, our "leader" tweeting outrageous messages, memes about seeing why football players took a knee, Covid19 spread...I could go on, but my brain is in a complete jumble, and my emotions are running high. Since today is our last sunny day for a while, John and I are going north to find a pleasant hike. That will take both of us away from the heartbreaking, frustrating and terrifying news. Although I'm paying attention to my world, I need to take a break from the insanity once in a while. In some comic relief...

On my Next Door neighbor site, a woman was outraged that her neighbors had cottonwood trees that were blowing cotton all over her property. Commenters pointed out to her (not so nicely) that cottonwood trees are everywhere, the breeze blows the stuff around, and that it's always an issue this time of year, especially for those with allergies. A few people suggested that she should move, perhaps to a state without trees? Washington is probably NOT the best place for her! Anyway, on my walk, I was inundated with cotton, and wondered to whom I could complain. Can you see it in my photo? :)

Since the weather is good in Ohio, these two are going kayaking. I hope Alison wears a life preserver! During these times of chaos and upsetting news, I crave contact with my family, and wish we could be together. I feel like we all need to be wrapped in physical and mental bubble wrap though! Now I'm off to prepare some food for our hiking picnic. :) 

The past during a pandemic

"You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land, there is no other life but this."
-Henry David Thoreau

My time tripping all started because I wanted to find a photo of The Playboy Pillow shirt from my post yesterday, thus I looked through many old pictures and blog posts. I was sure that I had shared a photo of the blouse when I bought it, but I have no clue what year that was! In the meantime though, I delved into many other old posts where I read about parenting teenagers(not always rewarding), and dealing with a sometimes annoying husband. I also relived many school frustrations, and enjoyed the stories of long ago trips for gymnastics meets and family vacations. I saw Ashley with dreadlocks, Alison with her gym friends, our long dead cat Kendra, and my own blond hair phase. (what was I thinking?) Although I never did find a picture of my blouse, I took a much needed trip down memory lane. It's important for me to remember that the past tends to take on a rosy and romantic hue; however, my blog from those years shows me clearly that life was full of angst and stress, even before this pandemic. 

Ironically, because I spent so much time looking for one particular picture, I have very few to share today. Don't you love the randomness of the coloring of these petunias? This afternoon, I had a distanced Happy Hour with a friend, and her lonely dad(who lives right next to her) came by for a chat too. Our daughters did gymnastics together, and her younger and my elder have new babies. So, it was lots of fun to share photos, although I didn't take one of our get together. :) And then on the way home, the views of Mount Rainier were spectacular, especially as I came through the farmland, with the mountain looming in the background. Did I get a picture of that glorious sight? Unfortunately no, since I was driving...

This was the best I could do from a stop sign. You'll have to trust me that even after 63 years in this city, the mountain took my breath away, as it always does when it's out. It's one of the most dangerous volcanoes in the world, but we who live in its shadow try not to think about that too much. 

 

 

Colors of Covid 19

Color me a bit blue since it's my favorite color, and my darling grandson is a week old today, but I'm not in New York visiting them. Feeling "blue" is synonymous with depression, with which I've thankfully never struggled, although I've had my down moments lately. (perhaps I'm more mauve?) In my internet wanderings, I've had to try to convince a right winger and her outraged commenters that a site she had linked to was satire, and that, as you can see from their "about us page," they're actually making fun of anyone who would believe the "news" they print. I feel like we're living in constant articles from The Onion.Do some people not understand satire? Then I engaged with a former student and ardent anti-vaxxer/covidiot who challenged me when I commented that I wouldn't be taking the bus anywhere since I'm trying to avoid people. "How can you avoid them while flying?" she demanded. Although I definitely saw RED, I was polite in pointing out to her that avoiding doesn't mean eliminating contact completely. Alaska Airlines has blocked out the middle seat, I'll wear my N95, and will do my best to minimize (NOT eliminate) my risks. Duh.

Speaking of red, I found some of my daughters' old make-up, and decided to try on this vibrant color lipstick. I used to wear red more than I do now, and when I did, I had a similar color lipstick. Oh, dear! It's definitely not my style these days. I remember being so proud of my favorite red and black floral blouse, until Ashley said to me, "Mom, no offense(watch out when someone says that to you!), but the material of your blouse looks like it should be used for pillows in the Playboy mansion." Instead of being offended, I got a case of the giggles every time I saw myself in it afterward, and eventually had to get rid of it. By the way, the lipstick and other ancient make up is now in the trash. 

In favorite colors for flowers, this deep purple ranks in my top three. My late husband planted these bearded irises (lavender and this color) for our daughters, thus it seems appropriate that I brought them into the house to enjoy. They were so heavy that they were falling down, plus I want to enjoy their last blooms without having to go into my back yard. :)

I also love multi-colored flowers!

The sides (but not the front) of my Old Copper rhody are blooming. Perhaps I should dead head this year? In daughter news, parenting from thousands of miles away can be challenging and stressful, but I always try to say the "right" things, with empathy, understanding and especially love. Lots of love. Or I simply shut up and listen, which is probably even better. :)

Lockdown Locks

I use the word "lockdown" in jest because we're not really in one, nor a shelter in place. In those situations, you don't move out of your house for any reason. Many of our stores are open, including ones that I personally don't find "essential." I'm also fortunate enough to live in a place where I can almost always run, walk, or work outside in my yard/garden. If I need a complete change of scenery, I can hop in my car and drive around. I'm not required to wear a mask in public(except at Costco) but I do anyway, hoping that it will in some way mitigate the stupidity and selfishness of others. However, I should avoid reading comments on articles and posts because there is a vocal (hopefully!) minority of people who think they are being dictated to by the Nazi-like state government, and that they are oppressed by mask wearing, the inability to dine inside a restaurant, the tragedy of not getting their hair cut and their nails manicured, and the restrictions on sitting with a crowd of others in a church. I've been to Dachau, so excuse my language, but what in the f*ck are they thinking? Are they being asked to fight their way to Paris during WWII? Are they hunkered down in London during the bombing? Are they being tortured, starved, and killed in a prison camp? In fact, are they being asked to make any major sacrifices, besides those who are suffering financial hardship?  Although I feel for people who are carrying heavy burdens during this pandemic(nurses, doctors, grocery workers), you can probably tell that I'm becoming heartily sick of that vile other part of humanity, epitomized by our narcissistic and incompetent "leader." End of rant!

In my quest for the perfect breakfast sandwich, I prepared an everything bagel (too messy) with egg, Tillamook sharp cheddar cheese and bacon. I didn't like the bacon as much as I thought I would. Surprisingly, I prefer my previous version with Canadian bacon. I thought I only liked Canadian bacon on pizza, with pineapple. Yes, I'm one of those people.;) Hawaiian pizza for the win!

A year ago today, John and I were at the Rhododendron Botanical Gardens near his house, admiring the last few flowers on the rhodies, but mainly there for these blue poppies. My "Old Copper" is a very late rhododendron, so it isn't even close to fully blooming yet, unlike the majority of them. This morning I would have been on a flight to New York to be there for my grandchild's birth. Life can be full of surprises, can't it? He was born 8 days early, a global pandemic swept over the country and world, and here I am, writing about memories from my recliner, and wishing that I could be there...or anywhere else really. I like to travel, mostly enjoy airports and flying, and love a change of scenery! 

At least my walks provide me with a way to "travel," because I can chat with my fellow walkers from across the street, admire many(leashed) dogs, and wave at people in cars. I'm a friendly type after all. Incidentally, here are my lockdown locks! Ugh...

Grandson has his own lockdown locks, doesn't he? I wonder if Ashley has to comb his hair! I'm delighted to share this photo of his sweet head (with permission) because he's an adorable and amazing little guy. I know I'm biased, but it doesn't mean it's not true! :) 

 

 

Plans during a Pandemic

Perhaps this pandemic experience is meant to teach me flexibility? My car coffee date for today got rescheduled due to the rain. My trip to the grocery store was somewhat intimidating, due to only 50% of the people in masks, one way aisles that weren't observed, and a few shoppers pausing for long periods of time where I wanted to be. Tomorrow I would have left for New York, if I'd stuck to my original plans. Yet my daughter and son-in-law are adapting and adjusting to their new baby and his schedule without the well-meaning but sometimes intrusive presence of the grandparents. Although I'm missing out on his newness, I'm being adequately supplied with photos and videos. You'll have to take my word for it; he's gorgeous. :)

I was relieved to see the toilet paper/paper towel aisle.

Ashley took her sewing machine back to New York in January, partly so that she could make her (future) Little One a mobile. She sewed all of these! Isn't she clever? (I'm not at all) Baby's room theme is sea creatures, like the jellyfish watercolor she painted. I know she'll nurture creativity in Baby, and I'm excited for that!

The bearded irises are waning, but the rhody is coming on...

It'll certainly not achieve the beauty of two years ago, but it will still provide color and beauty. I've been reading a lot about the 1918 pandemic, and the parallels are incredible. They closed businesses, and churches, stayed inside, wore masks and distanced. Yet when they reopened, probably due to economic hardship(no safety net whatsoever), they got hit very hard by the second wave. Personally, I believe we're in this for the long haul, until there's an effective vaccine. I also wish that I wasn't so sure of that because it does break my heart for many reasons. I want to make plans to visit my daughters, and my grandson. I would still love to tour Ireland. I've always enjoyed getting out occasionally to restaurants, movie theaters and bars. John and I would like to travel together to places near and far. Planning during a pandemic is really quite a crap shoot, isn't it?

 

 

Coffee and cats during the (novel) coronavirus

My mornings revolve around my delicious Monin's Dark chocolate/Equal Exchange Mind, Body and Soul mocha, and my adopted cat sitting in my lap purring while I check my e-mail, Facebook and sometimes the news. (if I'm in the mood to get frustrated and tempted to throw my coffee and the cat across the room) Since I miss my outings to Sbux, I've arranged several car coffee dates, although it's definitely not the same doing the drive through. I'm one of the few people I know who hates them! Perhaps I miss being identified as Morgrat, Margret, Margrit, and Margrette. One time, I was even Barbara. I was sitting in the cafe, waiting quite a long time for my drink, while the barista kept calling for "Barbara," then finally added the type of drink. That's when I realized that I was Barbara! Since I had a car coffee date this morning, my routine was somewhat changed.

Our lap time was curtailed, thus she wanted to play. She can be rough, especially when several of her claws have no protectors on them. Ouch.

Mari is a sun worshipper, and it's been sunny today. :) I did enjoy the gorgeous weather for my coffee date, as well as catching up with a former student who lives in Seattle. I didn't realize until later that he rented a car to come down to meet up with me. I felt very guilty about that! While sitting in our warm cars, we got the chance to discuss family drama over politics and the virus. He is a liberal gay guy with conservative relatives(not the issue) but they are Trumpers(a huge problem). That means his mother and sisters post unverifiable, inflammatory and dishonest information on Facebook. Fact checks don't seem to matter, scientific information is ignored, and logic and common sense are in short supply. My brother and sister-in-law are also in the opposite political camp, but at least they mostly don't write crazy stuff on social media. Thank goodness for small (very small) favors!

My dianthus continues to bloom more and more. I'm happy to have my flowers, especially when the country seems to have gone insane. 

I mowed a different direction in the back...

But I can't seem to figure out a diagonal in the front, where there is(out of sight), a decorative rock/flower arrangement. Have I ever told you that I'm not at all spatial? In grandson news, I've received more wonderful photos that I can't post, everyone slept /ate quite well last night, and I've admired this gorgeous baby who is definitely going to share his parents' big brown eyes. I love him SO much already!!

Planting seeds of thought during the pandemic

When you become a parent, your world both expands and contracts. Suddenly, you're completely focused on (and ruled by) a miniature human being who decides when you'll eat, sleep, shower, etc. Instead of worrying about papers you need to edit or syllabi you have to modify, you are trying to please (or at least satisfy) a confusing and often confused baby. It's humbling. Yet you also reach out to those who have parented before you or to medical professionals. Instead of discussing the latest news out of West Africa, you celebrate your baby sleeping in his bassinet, fret about some intestinal issues, and thankfully share that his eating and pooping have improved. :) You've become a parent, which joins you to all those billions of other moms and dads around the world who understand your fears, joys, intense love, and hopes. This is part of what Ashley wrote on her Instagram post to announce the little one's birth; it perfectly illustrates the personal and how it intersects with the global when we become parents.  "I am terrified and ashamed about the upside-down world that he has entered into (and here I refer not so much to COVID-19 as to all the other structural problems in our political, economic, social, and ecological systems that the current crisis has amplified and made more visible). But at the same time, I am so very thankful that he is here, and that I get to be his mama and try my best to make it better and more beautiful for him."

This newborn photo of Ashley looks a lot like my grandson: the dark complexion, the nose, the eyebrows, and the mouth. But he will be who HE is, and that will be delightful to discover!

As always when I'm dealing with my Tin Foil Hat Brigade on Facebook (oh, the crazy conspiracy theories!), I find solace in my flowers. My late husband wanted multiple rhododendrons, but they they grow big, and don't bloom for long. Plus, they're very messy. He searched all over our town looking for this one though, which is my favorite color. So, whenever I see it, I think of his efforts to make me happy.

It's just getting started. And it used to be small, and spindly!

I chose my petunias well, and this one is thriving. Like my grandson, I hope. They took him out for a walk in the fresh air, and I loved the photo of that new experience for their family. I wish I could share it, but I'll leave you with this instead:

John sent me this picture of the irises I brought him, all bloomed out. Now various ones will start to wither and die, as is natural. Yet right now it's a tower of lovely flowers, and I'll enjoy that; I'll try not to become TOO depressed with its symbolism of our very sick country. So beautiful and yet dying for a variety of reasons. I had hoped that this pandemic would bring us closer, make us more aware of science, public health, and rational thought, as well as encouraging caring and compassion for others. I was wrong. I wanted a better and more intelligent world for my grandson...



 

Covid 20

Because I can (it's my blog!) I'm going to go ahead and change the name of the pandemic. We're dealing with it, and will continue to struggle with its effects in 2020, so why not? Memorial Day weekend has crept up on me; I don't have any plans, but it still feels strange that it's a holiday. I feel far from celebratory, although I'm totally enjoying the videos, photos and FaceTimes with my grandson. He's a handsome fellow who loves to sleep, scream in the middle of the night, and disrupt his parents' lives. In other words, a perfectly normal baby! I wish I could share more pictures of him here because he's a sweetheart...

I was invited to John's for a ravioli dinner, so I brought him the gift of some of my bearded irises. No one can see them in my back yard anyway! We had a lovely evening; as many of you realized (before I did, actually!), John is a keeper. 

It's not summer yet, but I put my new sign up anyway. I'm hoping for many things this summer: less Covid 19/20, a stress free trip to New York to visit my kids, and some hikes and outings...probably at a distance. Sometimes I'd like to bury my head in the sand, deny the existence of any threat, and be a mindless Covidiot. But that's not how I roll. :(

These irises are purple, not blue, and Memorial Day isn't supposed to recognize every dead person, yet in spite of those technicalities, I'm using the holiday as an excuse to celebrate this new (although departed) grandpa. We never had a son, so I know he would have been delighted with our adorable Little Guy. As am I!