Stargazer

Last Moments

Older Daughter and I have taken our turns being weepy; last night it was her who was full of angst, and tonight it's me, although I hide it well. My mostly cheerful exterior is sometimes the shell I use to keep my emotions from overwhelming me. (and others) Realistically, I need to head home where responsibilities with my mom and my younger daughter await. I also miss my cat and my life, plus it'll be great to see John again after 2 1/2 weeks. However, I dread my full day of travel tomorrow with its many stressful moving pieces. And leaving this sweet little boy is SO heart breaking, especially when I'm not sure when I'll see him again. Fortunately, I'll carry away wonderful memories of this Halloween, as well as our many lovely small moments together. 

This morning we decided to head off to this nearby zoo which is located at Millbrook School, and was small and uncrowded, yet full of interesting animals. The visit was low key and fun for all of us, including Little Guy--who permitted us to dress him in a sheep outfit. Although we were still disappointed about his rejection of the adorable monkey costume Older Daughter had planned for him, we are learning that he is a small human with definite likes and dislikes of his own. We will respect that. 

Older Daughter has always been entranced by lemurs; going to Madagascar for their honeymoon intensified that fascination. :) Grandson appears to be riveted by them too. He loved watching them jump!

They do have awesome tails, but that look terrifies me. I wouldn't want to get too close to them. In Madagascar, the kids had them climbing all over them, and Son-in-Law had one on his head. No, thanks. 

I was more a fan of the red pandas whose tails are just as incredible. Could I take this one home with me, please? ;)

Emus (and ostriches) seem like proof that birds are descended from dinosaurs. They are so weird prehistoric looking. 

Our timing was perfect to see this bobcat get fed. Her dinner consisted of dead mice. Blech, gross. She jumped up on the fence several times, growled, and acted like any kitty would. It was entertaining to watch!

Little Guy wanted "down" and out of the stroller and kept telling us his attempt at his name plus "round" with a circular motion. Although we tried to allow him some running around per his request, the uneven pavement and mud(left over from the Nor'easter) made that too dangerous at times. 

This fall trip has gifted me with the beauty of the colorful leaves. 

It's also given me the joy of sharing Grandson's love of "dig digs," several of which we found in a store parking lot today on our way back from the zoo. His huge eyes and bubbling enthusiasm will stay with me on those long hours of train and plane travel. The memory of his snuggles, kisses and jokes will warm me when I'm feeling sad. As Winnie the Pooh wisely said, "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." 

Halloween Moments

After being initially hesitant to stick his hands in the pumpkin goo, Little Guy became obsessed with the process of emptying the interior and then putting everything back in. He loved his mom's designs (he can say "meow") and was entranced when we lit the Jack o' Lanterns and turned off the lights. He even gave the interior of the lids a good lick! A few seeds in the mouth is no big deal, right? ;)

What he did NOT like was his monkey costume; he hated the furry sleeves and refused to permit the hat. Much loud weeping ensued. I am more sanguine about this disappointment than my daughter, who was excited to dress him up in such an adorable outfit. After too many screaming crying Santa or Easter Bunny pictures, I'm more laid back than I was as a young mom although I certainly understand how frustrating it is when your vision doesn't match the reality. Parenting is a lot like that, even now. 

Instead of attending the library trick or treat activity, we took a walk on campus--with a detour to see a digger in someone's yard. Grandson much preferred that to being a monkey!

Of course I had to send this picture to John because it made me think of him. I'm sure he appreciated that! :) In my area we call them Porta Potties (a silly name), but most of us refer to them as Honey Buckets (an even sillier name). It happens to be the name of the company by the way. 

For a small campus, there are many scenic paths and lots of trees. When I say that I'm visiting New York, many people imagine New York City. Obviously, the Hudson River Valley is quite different.

The grounds look so peaceful, don't they? The flip side of this is that the kids live on a very busy street right across from the college, and at a roundabout. There is constant traffic, many sirens (mostly fire engines) and tons of loud motorcycles roaring around the circle. Spending Halloween weekend near to a bunch of young people is also quite noisy. I'd forgotten that teenagers like to PARTAY. Whereas as a 65 year old, I much prefer to SLEEP. Tomorrow is my last full day with them, and I will hate to leave. But my life isn't here, although part of my heart will remain. 

 

Festive Moments

First, a rant: Pumpkins aren't expensive, so why would anyone steal the ones that the college put out as decorations? Like too many situations these days, it makes me despair about others' behavior. Have (some) people always been so selfish and greedy? Perhaps I've been too naive positive about human nature in the past and now, at 65, I'm finally seeing The Truth? I freely admit that I'm stupidly ethical, and that I intend to remain that way.

The sun and blue sky have returned to New York if not to Washington, where it's currently flooding. So far, the weather here is mild enough to allow this heat loving coleus to thrive. I love their variety of colors and designs!

However, I don't think the annuals have long, if you look at the low temperatures for the upcoming week. Older Daughter wasn't thrilled to see that snowflake for next Saturday either.

The trees are becoming more colorful though due to the colder nights.

The deer were grazing on campus, and Little Guy got to admire them. "Deer, deer!" He would rather they be "diggers" and asks for "more dig dig" every time we walk by campus. How to explain to a 17 month old that the construction crew has finished their work and that the sidewalks are now done? 

The sun was shining through the trees on our walking route, and after the Nor'Easter, that was wonderful to see. 

I dressed up (Haha!) in a plaid shirt, my best coat and boots to attend a college party. Before you get the wrong idea, it was for college staff and families and it was focused on activities for the little ones. Grandson enjoyed the sensory station with the dried corn and poured it between a couple of containers for what felt like hours. :)

My son-in-law knows I prefer to drink locally, so I've been savoring an occasional Brooklyn Oktoberfest. It's delicious! We'll be carving these pumpkins tonight as my visit (sadly) winds down. Little Guy will dress up in his monkey costume this weekend and I intend to take 100 several photos. In not so festive news, I miscounted my blood pressure pills and will be one short. Luckily, I take only 5 milligrams of Bisoprolol, so I should be OK. (hopefully) I'll save one for my Monday travel day since I'm sure I'll need it then as I re-navigate the Metro North, Grand Central Terminal, Ubers and JFK Airport. In the meantime, I'll ignore the reality of those stresses, as well as the worries about what faces me at home. It's all about trying to enjoy the moments right in front of us, isn't it? 

Stormy Moments

I was very fortunate in the weather for the first part of my stay, but now the Bomb Cyclone I missed in Washington has arrived in New York. I didn't know what a Nor'Easter was; it's a miserable blend of heavy rain and wind. In other words, one of my least favorite combinations. Unwalkable. Drenching. Umbrellas don't work. So, we've been inside (mostly) and our activities have been curtailed. However, with Baby around, there is constant entertainment!

Before the Nor'Easter hit, we took our last walk; I admired this spire on the college music building. When we passed by, we could hear musicians rehearsing. I loved that!

I finally got to blow dry my hair, so my coiffure was half-way decent for the first time in a week. It didn't last. Damp weather is always problematic and leads to curls and frizz. Not the best look. 

We've been enjoying the apples from DuBois orchard. Although nothing can rival the Cosmic Crisp(in my opinion), these Wine Crisps come close. Of course, picking apples off the trees during actual apple season is preferable to buying them in the stores where many of them are coming from cold storage. Note: Luckily, this variety tastes nothing like wine since I detest the stuff. The skin is a purply-red color though hence the name. 

It was tricky to drink my coffee this morning when Grandson insisted that I wear this blanket "hat" on my head at all times. His pronunciation of "hat" is adorable because he can't say "H." :) Things I don't want to think about: I leave here on Monday. Younger Daughter's Cat is ripping up the carpet in one of the bedrooms upstairs. Her new apartment is next to a homeless camp. The holidays are approaching rapidly and I have NO PLAN. Not a clue what's happening, which creates a feeling of stress and dread. When I was a child, I was extremely excited for Thanksgiving and Christmas. As a adult, I try to look forward to a few activities like baking and decorating, but much of it is a slog. Gift giving and receiving are the banes of my existence. Add in unvaccinated relatives and you have a real imbroglio. 

Up and Down Moments

After a lovely day yesterday at a farm/ UPick apple orchard with pumpkins, this Little Guy had a very bad night, waking up at midnight with night terrors(?) and spending the next couple hours inconsolable and screaming. It was traumatic for all of us. Poor sweetheart! So, this morning, as we re-watched his favorite digger video, he rested his head on my leg while I guzzled sipped my coffee. 

Before that though, we crossed the Hudson River to DuBois Farms where the gray weather didn't take away from the beautiful scenery and great atmosphere. These kinds of activities are the best part of autumn! 

There were many interesting varieties of apples. My state is the #1 producer of apples (including my favorite, the Cosmic Crisp), so I was intrigued by the unfamiliar types. 

My photos don't show how large the orchard was, nor how crowded. Luckily, it was all outside. I refused to even enter the corn maze. I'm terrified of them. I don't have any sense of direction, even when I CAN see where I'm going. 

The fall colors were pretty, although I think our Washingtonian trees may be better this year. However, I'm missing the height of the season, and by the time I return, the Bomb Cyclone will have blown off most of them. Ah, well.

This lone llama in a field with a bunch of alpacas obviously hates its life. Or do llamas always look grouchy and lurk in a shed? 

I felt a lot like Ziggy yesterday evening when I realized that I had eaten something that disagreed with me. There is one bathroom here, thus NOT a good situation. I live alone and have three bathrooms, including one that is only mine, so dealing with this issue was tricky and uncomfortable. Then I got very little sleep on top of that. Am I still delighted to be here? Of course! But no more Buffalo (actually sriracha) cauliflower for me, even though it was delicious. At the time. Not later. 

My renewed "health" meant that we could take a walk this evening. We strolled by the campus, and continued to another farm where we spotted three deer. Grandson can say the word which is impressive for a 17 month old. He's communicating so well these days. 

I liked the tree colors and all the leaves on the pond. Some blue sky would have been nice, but at least it's not pouring buckets and blowing like it is at home. 

He was thrilled with these new books, and we've already read them numerous times. Seeing him gesturing and babbling with excitement was worth every one of the recent downs. Older Daughter goes back to work tomorrow which means that life will get busier for her and for me. I'm hoping to fit in some blogging in spite of my increased Grandmotherly responsibilities. :)

Weekend Moments

In a twist of irony, Older Daughter has been sick both weekends I've been here (so far!); when I first arrived, she was battling Grandson's intestinal bug, and now she has a clogged duct due to breastfeeding. Unfortunately, the only way past the pain is through the pain in this case. If you've never breast fed, you probably won't understand this cryptic statement! ;)

In better news, it took me much less time to figure out their coffee maker than in the past. I make a modified mocha with a little bit of milk and chocolate; I sometimes have two since it's only 4 ounces of coffee. However, I really shouldn't because it jangles my nerves a bit. 

Little Guy was delighted that the construction workers on campus were still digging and dumping with their big machines, even today on Saturday. Incidentally, I'm now an "expert" on preparing for and pouring concrete for sidewalks. And Baby's new favorite show is "Here Comes a Digger."

While on campus, we discovered that frolicking in leaves could be lots of fun! Due to the impending Bomb Cyclone coming in Sunday night at home, I'll undoubtedly return to numerous leaves in my lawn. Apprising Younger Daughter of the locations of the fake candles and lanterns was the only thing I could help with from 2,800 miles away. I have my fingers firmly crossed that the storm will bypass the interior of my state. Sorry to the Washington coastal dwellers who are going to get slammed, but they aren't dealing with the multitude of enormous trees that we have. Heavy wind is so scary in my area. 

Since Son-in-Law, Grandson and I had to walk around to the front of the campus to better see the mini-excavator, we passed the front of the lovely library. I've never made it inside, so I can't tell you if the interior is as impressive. It would possibly be a disappointment, compared to where I sometimes studied at my university. 

We also went through the Main Gate, which is equally picturesque. I wish I'd studied architecture because all I can say is that it looks old. Most of our buildings on the west coast are ugly modern. 

Although Halloween isn't my favorite holiday, I do love fall decorations, especially unexpected ones on a college campus. Just don't try to give me pumpkin spice in any drink because ewww. Why would anyone do that to a perfectly good coffee or beer?

 

 

New York Moments

Although I got to "enjoy" the Heat Dome at the end of June (110 degrees), I will be missing the latest Seattle area Crazy Weather because I'm still in New York. My state is expecting a Bomb Cyclone which I've never heard of before. It combines my least favorite conditions of heavy rain and strong winds. Will my fence blow down again? Will my roof leak? I have to hope that Younger Daughter can handle all of it. In no surprise to me, she's been struggling with the two cats fighting and has had to release them from their respective rooms in shifts. Apparently, she's found an apartment she can (possibly?) afford in a not terribly sketchy area of Tacoma; it's an old building and a small studio which isn't what she's used to. She'll be moving in early November and I'm expecting drama. There are many financial issues with the ex-boyfriend; I won't go into them here. It's not that I'm keeping these problems private; it's that they're way too complicated! Also, this daughter has, as the saying goes, "Champagne tastes on a beer budget." I love her dearly, but worry about her choices and her lifestyle constantly. 

This quote resonated with me. Sometimes I'm the one dancing whereas on other occasions I can't hear the music. Or perhaps I refuse to listen?

This Little Guy brings me a lot of joy, although his parents are facing many job transitions and insecurity as well. WHEN does motherhood get easier? My own mom has always said, "Parenting doesn't end until you're up at the cemetery." Oh, goody. 

This morning Older Daughter, Baby and I watched "dig digs" on the Excavator Channel (yes, it exists!) then visited campus again to watch some big machines in action. Little Guy was delighted!

The clouds were beautiful and I tried to frame the library between the trees. I'm no photographer, eh? ;)

I can see why this whole campus is considered an Arboretum. The beauty in the middle is a London plane tree and is famous, at least in the state of New York. Can you tell how immense it is?

The sky isn't impressive here, but there's a better view of the library, complete with construction tape and blocking tree! :) 

After the "dig digs," we meandered over to the Farmer's Market, a block away from their apartment. Older Daughter bought vegetables while I purchased several intriguing varieties of fudge for John, although I'm sure I'll get to share it. He's a kind and generous guy but when I wrote at the end of a text message that I missed him, I wish he would have reciprocated. (not his style) Speaking of dating, Friend Jim has met a new lady who lives within 50 miles of him; they've talked and texted a number of times, and even had lunch together. They'd like to continue to hang out, which is exciting after his "catfishing" experience last month. Of my interference well-meaning advice in that situation, he said, " I’m not at all upset with you for your concern with my previous female interest. As it turns out you were right to be suspicious." I'm relieved that my honesty hasn't cost me a very special friendship. Yet I'm also too old honest to mince my words if someone is making horrible decisions. Just ask my Younger Daughter. Sigh. 

 

New York October

Let's get this out of the way first. I'm not used to getting up at 6, nor using an unfamiliar shower, hair dryer and curling iron. I'm also not highly motivated to shower every day. Today I did wash my hair, but couldn't blow dry it due to Grandson's nap. It is going to be epically awful. There will be no photo. I'm grateful that I'm extremely unlikely to run into anyone I know in New York!

The weather is beautiful, the various trees are unique (versus the abundance of evergreens in WA) and the campus is quiet for our walks. Autumn is definitely the time to visit this area. The summers are miserably hot and humid, and winters are mostly snowy and cold. It's not the best climate for someone who loves the outdoors. 

Unfortunately for Grandson, the excavators on campus were finished, and all that was left was a cement mixer. So, when he begged for "dig digs" at home, we found a Big Machines for Kids video. He was mesmerized by the equipment and VERY excited! I grew up with three brothers, but they were sports guys, and not into heavy machinery. :)Then I had two daughters who had 0 interest. I'm every bit as thrilled as Baby is when I see his little face light up. I think I need to get a book so that I can learn the proper terms for all of them. I actually called a (Road)Grader a Caterpillar, for crying out loud. I am a Boy Grandma and need to do better! 

Just when you think that cats are majestic and prim, they do stuff like this:

Ewww, Ziggy!

Small moments

The New York college where my Older daughter is currently teaching is on break, so the facilities department is doing lots of construction work. Unlike his parents, Little Guy is obsessed with big machines. "Dig, dig!" he says excitedly while making a scooping action. Both yesterday and today we walked on campus to watch the mini-excavators, cement mixer and other unknown Cat products. :) He would have stayed for hours!

He was entranced when this mini-excavator picked up the pieces of concrete to drop them in a different area. "Boom!" he said over and over. Older Daughter and I had a long discussion about how children like what they like, independent of their parents' interests. I reminded her of her own father's dislike of ballet/dance and choral music. Yet my late husband was at every concert and recital, full of pride in his daughters' accomplishments. 

Because the weather has been decent, we've gone on several leisurely walks around the area. Yesterday we spotted this family of deer. Son-in-law held up traffic (a Smart car) so that the group could cross the road. Actually, the Smart Car would have fared worse than the deer in any close encounter, don't you think?

Besides playing rough the first day and bloodying my finger, Ziggy has been charming. He's a beauty, isn't he? After starting out shy, Little Guy is back to snuggles, giggles, baby jokes, and sparkle. He talks SO much more and even signs! He knows colors, and the names of most of his daycare classmates(rough pronunciations); he also recognizes and even tries to say most body parts. I was shocked when he showed me his neck and said an approximation of the word. Do you know what I didn't expect, although it's perfectly natural and stage appropriate for 17 months? Tantrums. I would say they're cute, but that would be a lie. ;) Fortunately, most of the time, Grandson is a lovable, funny sweetheart, and I'm incredibly thankful to spend these two weeks with him!  
 

Starting at the end

Today's travel didn't go at all according to plan, yet I managed, mostly with a smile on my face. I'll begin at the end: I've arrived here in Poughkeepsie and have been fed a very late, but excellent dinner by Older Daughter. Tomorrow morning I'll get to wake to Grandson's beaming (and surprised) face. I'm already so excited about that!

Some people (ahem, Marie) claim that I know everyone in my town because after living and working here all my life, I tend to run into many friends and acquaintances. However, I was incognito masked at SeaTac airport when I heard, "Madame Fent?" It was this delightful former student with her husband-- on her way to Los Angeles to visit another former student. It's always when you don't wash or style your hair that this happens, isn't it? ;)

In a frustrating tale, the Starbucks employee who took my order forgot to make the coffee that I painstakingly described to her, so I got only part of my breakfast. The water and bacon/egg/gouda sandwich weren't very satisfying without my mocha. I wasn't about to stand in the long line again; I would have needed to since she didn't charge me for my drink. Did she think I wanted my WATER non-fat, extra hot and without whipped cream? Insert eye roll. Then it made me a little grumpy when we sat on the tarmac for over an hour due to a kerfuffle in the cargo hold. (someone ran into the door with something and the mechanics had to fix it?) Thankfully, we didn't have to deplane which would have added many more hours to the delay. It helped that I had "Project Hail Mary" to finish although I was sad to reach the end!

Obviously, I made it to Grand Central in spite of the long taxi line, then finding out that there were NO taxis. I immediately went on my Uber app and within 10 minutes, the driver, a chatty Ukrainian, had arrived at JFK. I now know every detail of Oleksandr's life story, as well as a lot about the history and culture of the Ukraine(and Russia) and about his life in Brooklyn. That was worth paying $10 more. I snapped this photo where I stopped to look at my Metro North Railway schedule on my phone before dashing off to Platform 41 where the train was leaving in merely FOUR minutes. I'm thankful that the station wasn't crowded, that I'm an agile runner, and that I'm somewhat familiar with Grand Central Terminal. I'm especially glad that suitcases now have wheels; are any of you old enough to remember when they didn't?

Our train conductor was friendly and charming; he made me this ticket. (like Polar Express) I very much prefer going through New York City instead of Newark. What great energy the city has, especially on a Friday night!

When another passenger asked him about the pins on his cap, he explained them all to us. He's been passionate about trains since he was little, and is now living his dream working for the MNR. He had funny stories about some of his adventures and crazy ones about the unruly passengers that he encounters sometimes. Still, he said, most riders are wonderful and he loves his job. I found him inspiring. 

It's looking like I'll have company tonight. :)