Stargazer

Brouhaha

 

The good news is that we haven't had any arguments or tense moments yet. However, it hasn't been long and we don't live well together, which we're both aware of. We love each other from a distance. I don't like several of the decisions she's making, and worry about her. I could easily start nagging and get judgmental. I know who I am and am not always proud of it. 

I walked down to my mom's to give Younger Daughter space to work and to get some fresh air. It's important to maintain my "normal" routine even though it will soon be destroyed by travel. 

The trees are already losing many of their leaves. It seems like it will be a short season which is a shame. I love fall! 

As well as having an intruder in her house, Mari has this outside interloper to anger her. She(Mari) tried to eviscerate Younger Daughter and me when we got too close to the window where she was growling at the stranger...

This is my fellow walker, Chris. I haven't seen him for a while and he's now using a cane. In January 2021, he got covid which damaged his joints severely and painfully, and which also gave him lupus. He'd be counted as a survivor, but at what a cost. This evening Grandson bonked his head, and then started throwing up. His parents took him to the ER, where he made best friends with everyone in the waiting room. He's such a sweet little guy! But since he kept vomiting, the docs decided he needed a CT scan. Thankfully, it looked OK although he projectile vomited the minute they arrived back home. Between one thing and another, I've been a wreck tonight. But I AM packed for the most part. Onward. 

Making a List and Checking it Twice

I've actually accomplished a few items on my Getting Ready for New York list. I've decided that since I'm paying for a bag, I might as well take my big suitcase, even though it will be trickier to maneuver it around New York City and Grand Central Station. (chaotic even without a bag!) I've often traveled very light, but am feeling like I need some flexibility with my footwear and jackets. Should I be embarrassed to admit that an essential hair care product is 6 liquid ounces which was also a driving factor? ;)

I visited my mom and helped her with a couple of things, like deciding which of two sweaters to keep. When I was widowed, it was difficult to not have someone to bounce ideas off of, so I can relate to her challenges. My mom had my dad for support and company for nearly 67 years. It's a huge change for her, and she's doing the best she can. I admired her colorful geranium on the way out! 

The colder temperatures are working magic on the maples on this nearby street. Fortunately, I got home in time to mow my back lawn which was on my list of pre-trip tasks. The rain was supposed to come in this afternoon, but is making a late appearance. Sometimes I appreciate an untrustworthy weather report! Whew. 

My neighbor's tree added a lot of beauty to my mowing! The best part is that most of these leaves fall in his yard and not mine! I wish I could say the same about the other huge trees along my fence. 

I don't think I need to tell you how Mari is feeling with the intruder upstairs in the bonus room. Doesn't she look like an angry snake? John says that she always looks "pissed off." She can't help her resting b*tch face though. She's a sweet girl most of the time. She just wants to kill other cats. 

Carol is getting much more comfortable and affectionate; she also wants OUT of the bonus room. However, this would be a disaster at the moment. Unfortunately, trying to introduce the two cats in an approved manner is going to fall on Alison since I'm leaving in a couple days. That means I really should figure out what to pack. Yet another list! On another note, Carol's litter is way prettier than Mari's. What in the world is it?

Grandson's mother aka Older Daughter made him this hat (not quite finished) and he appears to love it. I can't wait to get my arms around that sweet boy!

 

Monday Muttering

At least my coiffure looks nice and fresh for my New York trip! Nothing else has been accomplished: not much organizing, no packing, very little crossed off my lengthy to do list. This morning I reluctantly let Carol out of the bonus room since she had scratched and destroyed part of the carpet in front of the door trying to escape. At that moment, Mari was waiting for her breakfast in a nearby room. A no holds barred, scratching, growling, howling, hissing and vicious cat fight ensued. Carol dashed back into the bonus room, and Mari then tried to savage me. :( It reminded me of of an occasion when Foolish Young Teacher Margaret decided to break up a fight at school by getting in the middle of it. I assumed that the two young men would stop swinging because of my presence. Guess what? They didn't. We learned at a training a couple years later that you're never supposed to put yourself between the fighters; they are often in a blind rage and aren't even aware that you're there. Mari had a lot of that indiscriminate rage about her; I thought she loved me! Evidently, she hates Carol more. In case you're wondering why I'm dealing with Carol, I've required Alison to quarantine in a hotel room for three days due to her cross country trek. I've had three Pfizer jabs, but am taking no risks because of my own imminent travel. As I start to fret about my packing, I think about what my late husband would tell me when I obsessed about it: You're not going into the wilderness. You're headed for a city with stores and places where you can buy what you forget. Yeah, but...I want MY stuff. Frankly, I would probably be getting more done except that I'm engrossed in this. What an excellent and absorbing read! 

Cars, cats and conundrums

My day started out at a coffee date, where this Halloween decorated car caught my eye(s). Wowsa. 

I would never go to that much effort, but I do enjoy how much others get into the holidays. In case you didn't remember, my favorite one is Thanksgiving. It's all about food, family and PIE--not about candy or gift gifting. By the way, Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian friends! Finding costumes for my daughters also stressed me out. Perhaps it's because I can't sew and am not particularly creative? Sadly, due to some of the attitudes and behavior, handing out Halloween goodies could sometimes make me despair of humanity. 

Across the parking lot was this confusing bumper sticker. I know for whom I voted in 2016, and the person whom I would never support in a million years, but I don't remember Jesus being on the ballot. Perhaps He was a write-in? ;)

I had to take one last photo of my relatively cleaned out Man Cave. Since my husband has died, is it now a Margaret Cave? 

About 2 o'clock Younger Daughter and her new boyfriend pulled up, after driving from Chicago. They did some sightseeing along the way; it's always preferable to enjoy the journey, right? However, we looked like The Three Stooges trying to back up the trailer for a painful amount of time; finally, my neighbor two doors over, a professional truck driver, asked if we needed any help. GOOD GOD, YES! It took him less than 10 seconds. 

In great part thanks to John, everything fit easily into this space; I'm a little discouraged about filling up my garage (and house) again, after making such progress in cleaning it out. :( At least the *stuff* is mostly away from the major areas of the house, so no one else sees it. Younger Daughter doesn't intend to live here forever, and I'll simply have to make sure she takes all of it with her when she moves out. When has that ever worked for me? Answer: Never. 

My new guest cat is Carol. She's not very comfortable being here, nor is Mari happy that she's living with us. Hopefully, they'll tolerate each other. In the meantime, Younger Daughter and Boyfriend of the Moment are quarantining elsewhere for several days, and I'm not quite sure what I think about ANY of these major shifts to my schedule and lifestyle. I'm still wrapping my brain around the speed of the new relationship; although I didn't approve of the former one, I had become used to it and even a little fond of the ex. Sigh. And in addition to being dumped by my daughter for another guy, ex-boyfriend's mother just died. I'm sad for him, while being glad that my daughter has moved on from that toxic relationship, yet also upset about the crappy way she managed the break-up. This conundrum is unresolvable, thus I'll have to (as my late husband always advised) go with the flow. 

Countdown

One week from now I'll be somewhere in New York City, probably in the thick of mass transit. I just scared myself! Although I don't shy from solo travel, I've had to guard my tongue because some of my Facebook friends don't have a clue about the terrors complexities of The (Very) Big Apple. "You should take the subway; it's cheapest!" Yes, it is--but it will be dark and I'll have luggage. I also have the world's worst sense of direction! "Why don't your kids pick you up at the airport?" IN NEW YORK CITY DURING RUSH HOUR? I would never, ever ask that. No way, not a chance. "You should take an airport shuttle!" Well, if their website didn't list just the price of a whole 11 person car, without giving a guaranteed individual price, I might consider it. I'm sure it's not a scam, although it appears to be the height of New York sketchiness. "An Uber is always cheaper than a taxi." No, it's actually not. New York City cabs have a flat fee within Manhattan with a slight surcharge for rush hour. To get to Grand Central Terminal, a NYC taxi is actually a bit cheaper than an Uber, and the price is fixed, no matter the time or traffic. Being a nice person, I've been kind and thoughtful in my explanations and responses, with the patience of a saint. With a tarnished halo, or is that mixing my metaphors?

Here's the highlight of the Seahawks football game yesterday: John's numerous hors d'oeuvres, which still couldn't make up for what we were subjected to on the screen. What a debacle! Afterward, we listened to Dave Wyman(my favorite announcer) who didn't pull any punches. His lips a straight line, he blasted the defense, saying exactly what I'd shared with John earlier," All this stuff about not executing, and not communicating is HOOEY; they know perfectly well who isn't doing their jobs, who is messing up, who is missing their assignments and getting beat." They don't want to name any names, but even I can tell you one--a high priced and arrogant safety whose initials are J.A. This situation reminds me of staff meetings when our whole group was berated over too much copy machine use. The reality was that it was a few egregious offenders, not first born children like me who then felt guilty about running off one class set of tests. OK, I'll tattle: Jamal Adams

Our fall colors are very disappointing this year too. Experts speculate that it could be because of our extremely hot summer. Imagine, 110 degrees in a normally mild climate isn't good for leaves! 

My big positive of the day was getting 50% off the price of my Metro North tickets now that I'm a senior. It was so cheap! There are definite advantages to being 65. Now I need to decide what to pack and whether to do carry on only. What snacks should I take? How many N95s and KN95s should I bring? So many decisions...

Thursday (Deep)Thoughts

I've never liked yellow flowers, but since these were a gift from a long ago French Club, I'm always excited when they bloom. They did cheer me up today when I realized that I'd probably angered a friend. After we'd exchanged messages about her late son, B. sent me a long letter that someone else had written about the loss of a child. Since we are close friends and open with each other I shared my disagreement with part of the letter in an extremely tactful way. I haven't heard back from her since. Oops! I'm honest about my struggle accepting the idea that every tragedy was "meant to happen" and that "it's for the best." I do accept that it HAS happened and I try to learn and grow from it which is the best I can manage. From my young brothers' deaths while I was in my twenties, I discovered that nothing and no one is immune from pain and loss. In fact, it's natural and expected. But does that mean I embrace it as a positive? No. After their deaths, I began to love more openly and wholeheartedly, while understanding that we are all transitory. Thus, I don't take anyone for granted. From the illness and death of my husband, I learned not to wait to buy those kayaks. We talked about the purchase for SO long and when we were finally ready to get them, he was diagnosed with cancer. As much as I enjoyed my profession and the people, I didn't hesitate to retire and do more of what I wanted each day. I wouldn't call myself selfish, but I'm fully aware of how fast time is ticking and how uncertain our life prognoses. No matter the homilies about forgiveness and reconciliation being the best and healthiest way to move forward, I've chosen to keep only the people who enhance my life; toxic is still toxic whether they are family members or long time friends. I've obviously had way too much time to think through all this. Not every post can be cat photos and frivolity though, right? However, my day(and mood) would be much better served by taking a long, long walk. 

Woe is Wednesday

My Mari was such a happy girl this morning. She loves the gas fireplace, which I reluctantly turned on because I'm fighting my new heat pump. Or am I just clueless? My old system had a very quick turn around, but this new gas furnace/electric heat pump takes forever to get up to temperature. I'll either need to drop the hour when it begins heating to its day time of 68 degrees or bump up the nighttime temperature of 62. Is that too big a range for a heat pump? I have no idea. This morning I also texted my friend B. whose youngest son killed himself four years ago; I have no wise words, simply that I'm thinking about her and remembering Matt. I have personal experiences with suicide which make me empathetic, sometimes too much so. Then later I contacted my close friend's D's boyfriend about her ovarian surgery/hysterectomy; although her tumor IS malignant, no one is saying ovarian cancer. Frankly, any time the C word is mentioned, I'm terrified no matter what. Happily, D. came through her procedure(s) well, but will have a lengthy and painful recovery process. My friends and I have discovered that getting old(er) isn't for sissies. Neither is parenting, even (or especially?) of adult children. 

My front lawn looks like it has mange, doesn't it? At least my newly trimmed rhody and lace leaf maple look beautiful! If my day had a highlight, this was it. 

What would a Margaret post be without John's latest garage find? :) This antique adding machine belonged to my late mother-in-law and still works. Again, I can't imagine anyone wanting it. I would've probably thrown it in the garbage!

En route back home, Younger Daughter and New Boyfriend put up this photo on social media. Without Instagram, I would have had no idea that she was at Devil's Tower and is approximately 1,100 miles away right now. 

My mom's neighbor either has a quirky sense of humor or is feeling the same way I am about the USPS lately...

I inherited my dad's raincoat which is much nicer (and yellower!) than my ancient $10 one from 20 years ago. Believe it or not, the old one was purchased at a Hallmark store. It has lasted forever and has kept me warm and dry on many chilly runs and walks. Although this "antique" is something I should trash, I'm having a lot of difficulty actually putting in in the can. I guess I can no longer make fun of John for all the stuff he keeps, eh? 

 

 

 

The Garage

Partly due to his new love of Offer Up and EBay and otherwise because he enjoys poking around in other people's garages, John has encouraged and helped me make a huge dent in my garage (and shed) junk. We've made some interesting finds, and discovered how quirky buyers on Offer Up can be. And the STUFF they are dying to get their hands on is often a complete mystery to me. 

There's still so much work to do, but look at all this space! That is, until Younger Daughter arrives with her UHaul trailer of possessions. One step forward, two steps back? This morning they were in Sioux City, Iowa. The cat is behaving well. The road quality is awful. It's slow going with a trailer. According to her bank account, it's not cheap to move several thousand miles. 

My late husband could be an indulgent easy-going parent and allowed the girls to write codes on the door to his side of the garage. He constructed this Man Cave out of one of our garage bays. I would love to de-construct it although it would involve a ton of expense and effort. Is it worth it or should I let the next owner worry about it?

Among many other finds, John dug out a working Pachinko game. I'm getting better about not wanting to put everything in the trash, especially since this is too big. I would have some pithy words for Patt if he were still alive though. WHY did you need/want this? REALLY? 

These columns were from Halloween decorations for our front porch when Ashley wanted to dress in a Grecian outfit. She loved mythology and my husband was 100% invested in making the event special. That was one of his gifts. He was definitely adventurous and creative whereas I can be a party pooper. And now I get paid back by having to get rid of these "goodies." As I tearfully told John when he dragged out a box of candle making supplies, "No, I don't know where they came from. They're not mine. 99% of this junk that we're finding is NOT mine." It perked me up when the buyer came to get the columns and was very excited to procure them for a relative's wedding. Another guy drove 45 minutes to pick up Patt's 4 ratty white tables for $25. He was in construction, remodeling a kitchen and didn't have enough work space. Not only was he a very pleasant guy, but he had an incredible beard! :)

Not the best photo, but you can see some of the decor. There were plaques, drapes and pillars, as well as some kind of header. Yes, the plaques are still up in the garage. They're too high for me to take down. Sigh. 

A rusty cast iron two burner gas grill? A lovely young lady happily paid $10 for it, and I was glad to be rid of it. 

John wasn't as delighted when he spotted this similar one on Ebay. ;) However, he's learning the wisdom of the saying, "C'est la vie."

John and I don't share a love for thrift shops either although I was a good sport about going to Deseret Industries with him. I even looked around at the games. We used to play this one at lunch once a week, and had so many laughs. I was the resident Beatles expert! I very much miss my colleagues and most of my students but I'm definitely relieved and happy to be retired. From what I'm hearing from friends in the classroom, pandemic teaching is a real (excuse the language) shitshow. 

 

The Games

Once again, as my late husband would say, the Mariners (local baseball team) have turned into the Mariners. He would have very high hopes early on, then in the middle of the season the Ms would lose 100 games (a slight exaggeration) and once again wouldn't make it into the playoffs. This year they came close, but kept up their 20 year No Post Season stretch. Sigh. Since John and I follow football more closely, we got together yesterday to watch our Seahawks against the 49ers. It was a miserable first quarter in spite of my "lucky" team apparel; John and I discussed turning off the television and reading instead. (him-"Project Hail Mary" me-"We Begin at the End.") Thankfully, we hung in there because the rest of the game was very exciting! (28-21 Seahawks) And to add to the thrill...

John made delicious nachos!

I would have used more cheese (there can never be too much for me!) but I loved the variety of goodies that he dumped on top. No calories right? We never did read our books, which was OK since I'm not enjoying mine very much. It's supposed to take place in California and I should enjoy it. It's a mystery with stellar reviews and a great title. Unfortunately, I'm not a fan of the writing style, and find myself critical of the British author who didn't do much research about the state where he set the novel. We don't have Capes on the west coast(we call them Points) nor did we ride Stelbers in the past. (we had Schwinn bikes!) Like a couple other books I've read, it's been "Tragedy Porn" all the way with nary a good event happening for anyone in the whole story. So, it's been disappointing, especially after the excellent choices we had in our last set of Book Club books. 

Grandson left a little over a month ago as a baby, yet in such a short amount of time has blossomed into this adventurous and adorable LITTLE BOY. 

"Mama, help me get over the fence so I can see the cow eating from close up." Or as he would say, "Num num." The countdown is now 11 days until lift off. 

Bonus Day of Summer

In spite of the prediction for showers, we've had a very June-like day of 70 degrees and sun. That seemed like a sign that I should head out into the yard to mow what grass (and leaves!) I have, pull the dead or dying plants and fill up the yard waste container with the neighbor's overhanging tree branches that dangle over my side of the fence. 

It's not looking great, but it is greening up after the rains we've had. As hot as this summer was, I couldn't be bothered wasting the water or the effort to keep it lush. Gold is a pretty lawn color, right?

Now that I'm finished loading up my container, I can wait for the weather to change. Supposedly when Mt. Rainier wears a hat, there's bad weather coming. I don't even know if that's true! However, she is looking more like her snowy self instead of a barren volcano. :)

I'll be away from home for Halloween for the first time that I ever remember; happily I'll be celebrating with Grandson whose mom found him this adorable costume at the secondhand shop. Ashley will dress as Jane Goodall, Ryan will either be another chimp or Jane's assistant, and I'll be something fitting? I would prefer to be the photographer, but Ashley will probably want me to dress up... 

I don't think my old Star Trek shirt will suffice. 

I loved looking through our old Halloween photos. They were nostalgic though. 

Last year was very different with my mask, my extremely dark and bushy hair and my special Twix grabbing tool. Pretty ingenious!

To top off my day, I thought a new razor in the bath would be a good idea. It was not.