Stargazer

Seasonal "Miracles"

I'm not being sarcastic by writing "miracles," but simply emphasizing that my moments of amazement don't completely qualify for that title. Is anything that unexpectedly brings us joy a sort of miracle? That's above my philosophical and intellectual pay grade!

I had completely forgotten I had this; it's one of my sister-in-law's creations. The minute I put it on the house, the temperatures warmed up to an unseasonable 63 degrees, with nighttime lows in the 50s. Hmmm. This time of year I would love clear and colder weather, but Mother Nature doesn't appear to care about my preferences. ;)  

I received my new fireplace screen and it looks much better than I anticipated! It's supposed to be pewter though and looks black. Poor Santa is barely standing and has fallen on his face numerous times. After 28 years or so, he is old and broken; this may be his last year. Sniff. I still remember my late husband bringing him home from the store, and me sniping, "Where are we going to put THAT?" Of course our little girls loved him, and I have many photos of them cuddling up to him. 

John being John, we pulled down the trains; he organized them as well as explaining to ignorant me that the various tracks were identified on the bottom. So, the issues we used to have with derailment could be explained! The tracks look identical, but aren't. These trains are old, and the batteries in them expired in 2017. However, the trains haven't even been out of their boxes for a decade; who knows how long those batteries have actually been in their respective coal cars? John and I were utterly shocked when BOTH trains worked; the green has a horn (whistle?) and a light in the front while the red had mini smoke rings coming out of its smokestack! The last person to put oil in that engine was my late husband many many years ago. I'm overjoyed that both trains function...and a bit emotional about it all. 

Some of our yellow leaves are hanging on and look striking against the BLUE sky. Miraculously, we've had a couple of non-rainy days although they are disappearing for a while. Carpe diem, eh? I'm still gun (rain?) shy and carry an umbrella on my walk, even if there isn't a cloud in sight. :)

(photo credit Kelly Schakel) A former colleague posts incredible photos of Rainier from her house. I admit to a little jealousy; she appears to have an ideal life and home. And view! Perfection is just an illusion though, right?

This is more my reality: a gorgeous Rainier shot from my car while sitting at a red light. In traffic. On my way to John's to watch another pitiful performance/loss by our local football team. Happily, that disappointment was balanced out by a delicious dinner and special time with John. Although "miracles" might be too strong a word, small joys abound. 

 

Out and about

It probably sounds crazy, but I was thrilled to get to meet up with Younger Daughter so that I could buy her a combined Christmas/Birthday gift early: 4 new tires. Not really very exciting, eh? Our outing also included a coffee date while we waited because OF COURSE the best winter rated tires weren't in stock; they had to fetch them from another store. Bah, humbug.

Some people see it and others don't, but we look quite a bit alike. Well, except for her huge blue eyes. :)

We ended up checking on visiting my mother after coffee, then headed back to the tire place, three hours after we'd dropped off her Jeep. They'd told us it would be about two hours for the job. However, instead of her car being ready, they hadn't even gotten the tires yet! Why didn't anyone call? Grrr. Speaking of waiting, remember my brother's sick cat? He had to take her half an hour away to an emergency vet where he waited for 12 hours! He got home at 1:45 a.m. Today John went over to his sister's to pick up his mom; afterward, he headed to his daughter's so that she could spend a little time with her great-granddaughters. Finally, he had to drive two hours to return his mom to her home in Sequim. So, I'm not going to complain too much about our "long" wait for the new tires.

In the meantime, in frigid New York (even the Iowans are bundled up), Little Guy, along with his parents and paternal grandparents visited a Winter Wonderland in the "North Pole," located somewhere in the Hudson River Valley. Grandson looked mesmerized most of the time, and didn't appear very fond of Santa. ;) Perhaps he was just cold! As for the conditions here, I'm no Biblical scholar, but I feel like I'm living wherever Noah's Ark occurred. The Atmospheric River is back. Should I perhaps buy an ark a boat? 

 

Post and Pre

If I could have my way, we would celebrate a Canadian Thanksgiving in mid-October instead of reeling from one holiday to another. That said, our quiet (but tasty) dinner much outstripped my brother's large group gathering where the turkeys didn't cook until two hours after dinner time, his sister-in-law forgot to put sugar in the pumpkin pie, and there was a very sick cat. In various updates: MOM is breathing a bit better due to her new medications. However, she was using the $270 inhaler upside down which meant that it wasn't very effective. ;) Note: Our medication costs here are atrocious! MY TOILET LEAK is still there, but the water to that toilet is off. Meanwhile, the plumbers are taking an extra day of vacation, thus no one is answering their phone. If I don't hear from them Monday, I'll find someone else. I'd rather use a company I know and trust, but I'll be adding more people to my household soon and can't wait forever for a repair. LINDA'S PUMPKIN PIE was incredible; the spices were just right (not overdone) and the crust was flaky. Mom and I were impressed. Next year I'll be agonizing over which two or even three pies to buy from Linda...

Although I'm not interested in mincemeat nor the cream pies(like them, don't love them), I've always adored pecan pie. Linda's pumpkin was hard to beat, but I'm a huge fan of strawberry rhubarb. And the French apple pie with the crumble topping would be like my favorite apple crisp in pie form. Luckily, I have a whole year to ponder this dilemma! As far as jumping from one holiday to the next...guess what I was doing yesterday evening?

It feels different to decorate when my daughters, son-in-law and grandson will be here for Christmas. Last year I was by myself and didn't put out anything. I didn't even do a tree. Don't you think my Little Guy will be entranced by the girls' musical snow globes? I'm so excited to see his face!

Mari still despises Santa and would like to knock him down when I'm not looking, but Grandson will probably find him intriguing. He was a long ago purchase of my late husband, and although he's old, battered and barely working, he gets pride of place by the fire. He's a survivor after all.

 

Mari's doppelgänger perfectly expresses her feelings about the holiday and the extra fuss and guests. She's the ultimate Scrooge and can't wait for the boredom of January. 

Thankful...sort of

“I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual.” – Henry David Thoreau

Yesterday as I was scrolling through Facebook, I noticed that a gymnastics mom friend who makes 100+ pies every Thanksgiving to honor her late parents had a few of her $15 desserts left over. It seemed like a sign. I had resigned myself to NO PIE and figured that Mom and I didn't really need one. Then I thought back to all our past Thanksgivings, especially 2020 when Dad was dying. This year Mom isn't doing very well, so who knows what the rest of this year will bring? And suddenly, I knew I had to get a pumpkin pie. Traditions are important and somehow soothing, aren't they? Procuring our dessert required a nearly hour long drive in the dark into an unfamiliar city, but it was well worth it. When Linda found out I didn't have any whipped cream, she gave me some of hers, as well as several warm hugs. It meant a lot and made me weepy. What doesn't these days?

I doubt that Linda's pie will be as tasty as my mom's, but at least it's homemade and by someone I've known for years. She made 120 this year which I can't imagine. I'm terrible at pies although I'm a decent cake and cookie baker.

Mari enjoys watching for birds on the kitchen nook window sill so she's often over in this vicinity. Thus, she alerted me to an issue by standing where this bowl is now with a certain look on her feline face: "What the #$@&%*!?" Of course I would have an upstairs bathroom leak on Thanksgiving! Fortunately, it's a drip, not a gusher(still damaging to sheetrock though), and turning off the water to the master bathroom toilet seemed to solve the problem. Sigh. To maintain my perspective I'm thinking of a friend whose house was extremely damaged by a broken pipe, as well as other major leaks I've had in this house. Although I have the money to call out an emergency plumber, I also have two other bathrooms, so there isn't any need for urgency. Have I ever mentioned that I have a love/hate relationship with my house? 

2,800 miles away Older Daughter and her family are hosting her in-laws for the holiday, and she's busy making beautiful pies and many other dishes. Her grandmothers' gifts for cooking obviously skipped a generation. (moi) In spite of my plumbing problem, I'm grateful every day for family, friends, good food and my sweet little cat. And a special thank you to my blog friends for your supportive comments and wisdom. xoxo

The November Holiday

When I worked, Thanksgiving was a huge deal since it involved four days off (now five) and was the precursor to the Christmas festivities and decorating. Since I'm retired, it feels like just another Thursday, especially because it will only be Mom and me. She is still terribly short of breath, such that I had to take her to both her appointments yesterday. She couldn't have managed without someone to help. At her Warfarin check, the nurse was extremely concerned and went to get mom's doctor. From her chest x-ray the day prior, he diagnosed chronic lung disease; I'm not sure what it is--another name for COPD? Mom wasn't a heavy smoker and quit over 50 years ago. However, as my late husband's oncologist used to say, "The lungs are a very unforgiving organ. They never forget." I also had the uncomfortable task of broaching the dilemmas of Christmas to mom; she obviously can't host the traditional get together at her house and seems to realize it. The New Yorkers won't have Grandson around my brother's unvaccinated family while Younger Daughter would like to spend Christmas Day with her boyfriend. I suggested that Mom could come up to my house (2 minutes away) for the Eve; the girls and I would cook (mostly Older Daughter, to be honest) thus we would deal with the mess and disruption. My brother's family could have Mom on Xmas day, which is their big holiday anyway. In other family drama(not mine), John is no longer dining at his brother's on Thanksgiving; his sister-in-law has come out as unvaccinated, in spite of the medical fragility of both John's mom and sister. John has been left speechless and disappointed by her revelation although I'm not a bit surprised at the turn of events. I did invite him to my mom's, but forgot to tell him that we have no pie and will have ice cream bars for dessert. We're going with the flow...

When life gets stressful, I head out for a walk, rain or shine. I got lucky today!

Most Washingtonians love the outdoors and non-rainy days are quite popular.  I ran into many of my exercise peeps along the route. Pink Coat aka Jennifer is the assistant superintendent of a nearby school district. The guy in front of her is Chris, who bravely walks in spite of joint pain and lupus brought on by a case of Covid19. I can't tell who the faraway person is, but I probably know his/her story as well. :)

She was out today! I can't get enough of the mountain views. And she's finally snowy again after our record breaking summer temperatures. 

Because the forecast for the next week looks wet, I wanted to mow the back and front lawns. Mission accomplished! Remember when this was mostly yellow and as dry as straw?

Younger Daughter took this sunrise photo since I no longer have to be up at that time. I really don't miss it. I adored most of my students and colleagues, but after some tough adjustments early on, I'm now happily settled into retirement.  

Finding the Beauty

When Older Daughter asked if I could locate a high chair for their holiday visit so that they wouldn't have to check luggage, I went immediately to my Buy Nothing site. A few hours later, I had this free high chair in my possession. Is it beautiful? No. But do I feel warm and fuzzy that another person gave it to us, when she could have sold it on Offer Up for $15 or so? Absolutely! I can already picture my Little Guy in it, saying and gesturing "More!" with his sweet face covered with food. Actually, he's a neat eater for an 18 month old although he does have his moments. :)

John got to spend a few hours with his youngest granddaughter; isn't she adorable? However, I was nonplussed when he mentioned yesterday that Grandson seemed very advanced and could say/do so much, whereas his 3 year old granddaughter can't. I didn't know how to respond, thus I simply replied that Granddaughter C. seems to be talking more and showing progress. Unfortunately, she's not understandable much of the time. I wish that John's daughter would discuss these concerns with him because he's starting to notice that things might not be quite right. 

In a cold, drab and rainy season, these Christmas cactuses are cheery. My mom has a red one, and John this pink one. By the way, the football game was atrocious(I said too many bad words), my chili was delicious, and the cornbread muffins were tasty. Sadly though, in spite of my love for chili, it doesn't reciprocate. I would prefer not to share any details. ;)

t

In the meantime, Younger Daughter spent her weekend driving to the Olympic Peninsula to climb Mt. Storm King. This scenic trail overlooks Lake Crescent and is hellaciously steep. Hiking guides call the climb "strenuous"--a key word for impossible for 65 year olds. I couldn't handle the height anyway, as a sufferer of extreme vertigo. I hate heights.

The weather was unexpectedly glorious and Younger Daughter's boyfriend was enjoying the view. He doesn't like heights either, but appears to handle it much better than I would. I've had to crawl on my hands and knees to finish hikes at Rainier. Not a pretty sight. 

In mundane news, my soaps have finally arrived. Aren't they cute? After sniffing them, my favorite is "Winter" and all the rest are decent to good, except for "First Snow" which is much too piney for my taste. Perhaps I'll share some of these with other people...

On a rainy morning, it was lovely to see part of the mountain and the sun on the clouds. I was immediately cheered! My day also included taking my mom for her third Covid19 shot, then heading over to John's nearby house to say hello. After that, I drove Mom to her chest X-ray; while waiting for her in the car, I set up a My Chart to try to hunt down my blood test results. And there they were, nearly perfect except for my darn cholesterol. Am I concerned? Not really since both my LDL and HDL are high. Plus, my LDL/HDL ratio is 2.4 which my late husband told me was as important. The doctor didn't suggest any sort of medication, just an attention to diet. :( I'm not going to tell her that I ate eggs twice today and enjoyed them heartily each time. Ignorance can be bliss! 

 

Precious Relics

Unlike John, I've been doing an excellent job of getting rid of garage clutter and even a few house items. I've filled the trash every week (except when I was in New York), given much away on my Buy Nothing site, and allowed John to *sell other things. (*selling has often meant simply moving the items into his own garage) Most of the time, these tossing/divesting decisions have been easy and straightforward. Fortunately though, I've stopped myself from making a few mistakes, like donating my late mother-in-law's microwave. It's now humming along in Younger Daughter's formerly microwave-less apartment. 

I was planning to sell my fridge from school when Younger Daughter, whose refrigerator is tiny, asked if she could use it. Now she has more room for food, and doesn't need to shop every two days. And I have more empty space in my garage, a win-win!

My late husband loved trains and insisted on putting one around the full-size Christmas tree every year. Now that I have a mini-tree or none at all, the trains (a red and green) have been collecting dust. So, why not get rid of them? Then Older Daughter mentioned that Grandson would adore watching the train go around even a 3 foot tree. I had an instant picture of my young daughters putting their small stuffed animals and dolls in the box cars, eager to see them chug along the tracks. My husband enjoyed putting oil in the engine so it would smoke, and of course we had to install batteries so the horn would toot. 

There were inevitable derailments...

...and silly photos. :)

In my research I've noticed that every old Christmas photo shows only the red train; I wonder if the green one even works. Hmmm, I'll have to drag them down from the shelf and try them out. If you see pictures from December with train tracks all over my house, you'll know why! 

Even sick with cancer and exhausted and bald from chemo, this "boy" wanted to play with his trains. 

It didn't rain today, and I enjoyed a gorgeous (but cold) walk. I haven't accomplished much (besides my 15,000 steps) but I've distributed my chili and cornbread muffins to my mom, and Younger Daughter while still having enough for John and me while we suffer through watch the Seahawks tomorrow. It's perfect weather for a warm bowl of chili and unless I'm mistaken, we'll need tasty food to console us during the football game. 

Since I've been to Cincinnati twice, a few Facebook friends asked whether I'd made Cincinnati chili which is a famous concoction over spaghetti noodles. Although I'm intrigued by the combo of spaghetti and chili, I would never put cocoa, cinnamon, allspice or cloves in my sauce. If could do emojis from my laptop, I would insert a very revolted face HERE. 

Today

Today, I loved walking in the cold while only carrying my umbrella versus huddling beneath it. 

Today, I breathed several sighs of relief that my mammogram was normal. That was an immediate turnaround, unlike the blood test which is nearly two weeks out. They told me at the clinic that they were using their own lab now because they got the results much quicker. Yeah, right!

Today, I made chili...

I use four types of beans plus corn; it starts out vegan because my Older Daughter was vegan for about seven years. Then it becomes vegetarian with grated cheese and sour cream which is how I prefer it. For the meat eaters (John and my son-in-law), I add shredded chicken. And I also make cornbread since the combination of the two is very comforting in this darker and colder time of the year. 

Today, I decided not to attend my brother's Thanksgiving festivities; his wife's stepsister and her daughter are now coming as well, adding to the crowd. There are too many people and too much uncertainty about their vaccination status. That might mean having frozen pizza on the holiday and watching some "Call The Midwife" Christmas specials on Netflix. Strangely, I'm OK with that.

Today my mom got no results from her doctor's visit except an order for a chest x-ray and some blood work. Her resting oxygen saturation was 98, like it was with my oximeter. She doesn't have Covid--or Covis, as she calls it. ;) And at 89, she is very clear that she's only willing to do the minimum in tests, medications and health care in general. I respect that although it's hard to imagine being without my mom. As it is, I ache to show my dad photos of Grandson, to tell him stories about my doings, to share opinions on various books, and to hear his infectious chuckle and insights. I miss him so much. 

Today I appreciated what I've had, what I have now, and the special people in my world. Older Daughter, Grandson and I FaceTimed, and after I hung up, my daughter texted that my sweetheart had said, "More Mémé!" I'm also thankful that I don't have this guy's job. You couldn't pay me enough...

 

A Fine Wine

Although I detest wine, I wish that we could age like "a fine wine." I'm beginning to fret about why I haven't received any results from last Wednesday's blood test. It seems like something is always wrong these days; my cholesterol is marginal or something else is out of whack. I never used to worry about my yearly exam, but these days I dread what I might find out. I also jump every time my cell phone rings since I had a mammogram on Tuesday. I don't want to hear from them; I'm hoping for the all-clear in the mail. It doesn't help my anxiety that so many friends have had breast cancer; John's late wife died of metastatic breast cancer almost exactly six years ago. At 40 I was very blasé about the scans, assuming that nothing would be wrong. Now I'm the opposite...and wish I could go back to those carefree days. 

I walked down to my mom's today with an oximeter in my pocket, a left over from my late husband's lung cancer experience. Mom has been short of breath lately and my brother and I have been concerned about her. She's had this issue before, usually combined with swollen ankles. This time, no swelling--but some congestion and trouble sleeping. I was ready to insist that she see her doctor, thinking that she would fight me on it; however, she meekly made an appointment for tomorrow. Since she's short of breath, the clinic will put her into Covid protocols. Could she have Covid? Yes, I suppose so, in spite of her two Moderna shots and mask wearing. I guess I'll find out tomorrow whether I'm in a 10 day quarantine. :( Fine wine, my a**. 

I did have a coffee date today, and will meet another friend for a klatch tomorrow. This is my excited face! John has been a bit absent this week yet I'm least worried about that. John is a very good guy; he's dependable and kind. We like each other, and enjoy each other's company, whether we're watching a film, riding bikes or having food/drinks. Unfortunately, I do feel expendable (replaceable?) sometimes because he's so easy-going and not demonstrative at all. He's much more experienced with different relationships than I am, given that I was married for a long time. I'm not exactly sure where I stand with him or what our level of commitment is. We're casually serious? Or we're regularly dating in a non-binding way? It's possible we're simply hanging out and having fun as long as it lasts, and then moving on. Younger Daughter thinks I should clarify all this with him. I'm inclined to let it go, and take our time together moment by moment and day by day, knowing that it could change in an instant. Sort of like our health, right? Or perhaps more like life which is also uncertain, yet full of joy if we look for it. 

 

Happier Place

I won't put on any fake cheeriness here in BlogLand, so I'll just admit that this past week has often been a struggle. There haven't been specific reasons except pressures about the holidays, and worry about Younger Daughter, combined with lonely times in the evenings. (too much time to ruminate?) It gets dark now about 4:30 which makes me feel like I need to go to bed about 6! However, I discovered that I can watch a few missed seasons of "Call The Midwife" on Netflix, which has been a solace. I also bought some decaf Chai Tea Latte mix for a treat at night. Younger Daughter stopped by unexpectedly yesterday, and we had a nice visit, free from drama. A few days ago a long ago blog friend invited me out for a car coffee date; it was wonderful to catch up and lovely that we still connect so well with each other. Monday, John and I (with a couple other friends) met J's new girlfriend of a month, who just moved in with him. It's not my business, but that seems VERY quick. My dish (a chicken quesadilla) tasted like wet chicken feathers; I ate a few bites and then dined on chips and salsa. :( On the plus side, I thought the lady friend was pleasant and J. is very enamored with her. After his catfishing experience, he deserves to have some happiness with a nice person. I wish them well. I haven't talked to John since that evening; I hope it's because he's too busy selling his junk stuff on eBay or Offer Up. Sigh. 

It seems like 1 out of every 3 Washingtonians has a Subaru and I'm one of them. Today, after wrestling the snow tires into the back, I had them put on my already AWD vehicle. When people point out how silly that is, I tell them about an article I read in a Car Magazine; studies show that a front wheel drive car with snow tires outperforms a 4 wheel or AWD vehicle with regular ones. Tires are extremely important! During the February 2020 Snowmaggedon I took Blue out to put her through her paces. There weren't other cars around, so I practiced stomping on the gas and braking hard to see how she handled. She's a boss! Last year I didn't bother with the tire swap; will that mean that we won't get any snow this year? I'm kind of hoping we don't...

The Atmospheric River is over for now, but it's gotten chilly as you can see from my frozen lawn. Northwest Washington continues to struggle with awful floods, and Vancouver, Canada (174 miles to the north of me) is cut off from the rest of Canada due to washed out roads. My fellow blogger has some sobering photos of this tragedy. Unfortunately, the only route out of Vancouver by road is through Washington; the border crossing is still problematic though with a Covid 19 test required. What a mess! (understatement)

I found some pretty trees along my walking route. As I exercised, I tried to work out whether I should attend my brother's Thanksgiving (I'm leaning no since his sister-in-law and family will be there too), and what to plan for Xmas. I don't deal well with uncertainty or chaos; unlike my late husband I've never comfortably "flown by the seat of my pants."

Even the birds I saw today were flying in formation, minus those couple of stragglers. If I were in this group, I would be in the very front. Does that illustrate my need for control? :) Happily, I bought all the ingredients for my 4 bean and corn chili, so that's something to look forward to. And I have a warm and purring cat sitting on my arm as I type this. My sweet Mari!