The Old and the New

Today I saw Younger Daughter face to face when she came to pick up more of her stuff; I got her address, and a bit caught up on her life. (not all of it, I'm sure) Most important were the hugs though. They are a form of connection that also gives such comfort. Yesterday was the beginning of a couple months full of holidays and "anniversaries." November 8th is the date John's wife Christine died of metastatic breast cancer. Today is one of my younger brother's birthdays; he would have been 63 but died of suicide at nearly 25 years old. John's anniversary is the 11th, and Thanksgiving brings back memories of my dad's last Thanksgiving in 2020 and my late husband's horrible end of November in 2012. (he passed away on December 4th) My wedding anniversary is December 15th and I first met my husband December 31st. We were at a New Year's Eve Party when I spotted him in his toga. I was with my fiancé at the time--an intriguing story, yes? ;) I work through these festive months the best I can but make no apologies and feel no guilt if I'm not delirious with the holiday spirit.

Here was Don's 2nd birthday with his big sister (me) and our beloved father. I miss you, Dad!

Don ended up with a natural Afro and, although you can't tell from this photo, extremely dark skin. In the summer, he got very brown, eliciting some ugly not-very-appropriate comments. I won't sully this blog with them. 

My youngest (and only surviving) brother looks a lot like Don and they both are clones of my dad. I don't see myself in either one of them, do you?

I don't really know who I look like. Myself? :)

As most of you are aware, I'm the personal representative of my step-grandmother's estate, which included a sizeable bequest to the local volunteer fire department. However, the check got lost/misplaced either by the USPS or the organization; that led to a wonderful chat with the Fire Chief last night and a peek at their Facebook page. Their profile picture shows the September 1, 1947 Labor Day Parade; standing on the running board is my dear Great Uncle Stan who was also the Fire Chief of their small town. My mom got quite a kick out of seeing this old photo!

The humble blackberry is so hardy; some are still thriving in spite of the atrocious weather. If they can do that, so can I. After all, my success rate at getting through this time of the year currently sits at 100%. 

 

 

 

Comments

[Marie K]

It is a hard season for some. Thinking of you.

[DougM]

It sounds like the weeks ahead have a lot of dates to reflect on. Margaret. Your brother who ended his life--that was Don, right? I keep thinking you had 3 brothers and lost 2 of them? Anyway, Don was a handsome man and his hair style was pretty popular in the late 70s/early 90s. Did you or your family see this tragedy coming? Did he leave you with any answers why?

[Ed]

When I was young, only holiday dates registered. As I have gotten older, my calendar of events that I tend to remember on a yearly basis keeps getting filled in. I suppose eventually all that will be reduced to my name on someone else's calendar after I'm gone. November for me was mostly birthdays until my mom passed away in late November of 2018.

[Joyce]

The Holidays are hard for a lot people, having lost people that were so close during the Holidays makes them bittersweet for me also.
I am happy you got to see your youngest DD, hope things are better for you.

[Wendy]

You do have alot of dates coming up that can cause you sorrow. I pray you can get through them all ok.
Happy that your daughter stopped in and you could hug her and chat with her. I sure hope she keeps the
lines of communication open. We just need to know our kids are ok and safe.
Your brother Don was a handsome young man. You do not resemble either of your brothers.
The mail is terrible this past year especially. Ugh! At least you can cancel the check and
re-issue one. Fun that your great uncle was pictured on the truck. Take care

[Pixie]

Life is hard, isn't it? And still we go on because what is the alternative?

February is the cruelest month for me, both my parents died in that month and my ex husband lost his mind that month.

My middle daughter and I rarely speak. She's been angry with me for years. She's seeing a counselor now which gives me hope. She had a rough time in our family, the middle child stuck between her sociopath brother and her severely disabled sister. I love her but she needs her space now.

[DrumMajor]

I think you look like your Dad. Your brother Don with the natural Afro looks alot like the guy-I-didn't-marry Don. My Don also had very coarse hair, much like an Afro. He explained that some folks with a real strong German background also have very coarse hair. He even let me cut his hair on the balcony of his apartment because it was easier to do outside. His hair has thinned out now, and isn't so coarse. Interesting, the hair on his chest is as soft as a newborn baby....did I say that? Isn't this a public blog? And not even my blog?
Okay, I've been married 3 times, and don't have as many dates in my head as you have stored. I remember events and funny times more than exact dates. Hopefully your sad times will be less frequent from now on. Glad the Younger Daughter popped in to grab more belongings. Even though she moved back towards you for comfort, maybe she just needs her space too. Hard to endure that though. When is she going to pick up the cat? Put her cat in a cardboard box (they love boxes you know,) and have it ready for the next pile of stuff to head to the Younger Daughter's place......ever heard your cat laugh? Linda in Kansas

[Catalyst]

Ah, the holidays. And the memories. For many, a tough time of year to get through. Stay with it.

[Karen]

So glad you connected with your daughter! Hoping things go smoothly going forward.

I'm sorry this is a hard time of year for you. Keeping busy helps me when I'm living though tough periods. I will be thinking of you and sending you positive energies this season.

[Tonya Watkins]

I'm VERY relieved you saw Alison. I was worried. I take it she's doing...OK? Is she looking for a job (or maybe already landed one)? What do you think of the new boyfriend?

Love your new do, and I've always thought you took after your mom. :o)

[AC]

That is a lot of mostly sad remembering. On the bright side, you got a hug with D2.

[Pam Donaldson]

You can indeed. But that doesn't mean that it's not very hard. Hugs across the sea.

[Matt]

Hang in there, friend.
I do get crestfallen myself during this time of year. Especially next month because I have so many wonderful holiday memories of Christmas with my mom.
If you need any help with the huckleberries, let me know and I will send Kyle over.
He loves himself some huckleberries.
That gives me a good idea to put a lot of huckleberry items in his stocking this year.
Thanks, Margaret.