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January 05, 2022


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Pam J.

Synonyms for pariah include outcast · persona non grata · reject · untouchable · undesirable. They might sound harsh but they all fit the situation. Happy New Year! And I agree: it IS scary to love these grandkidlets so much. I'm sure I felt that way when I had my two babies but maybe not. It might be the result of living longer and being more aware of the dangers of life in general. Or maybe our hormones don't allow us to be so scared when suddenly this tiny almost helpless bundle is yours to protect 24/7 -- you're too preoccupied to be scared.


It may be time to have a heart to heart with your daughter, along the lines of "Oh, for crying out loud, just GROW UP!" But far be it from me to offer advice on parenting; my record is not great, or even good.


Oh gosh! You’re really stuck between a rock and a hard place. I’m sorry younger daughter does not understand everyone’s nervousness about Omicron right now. It’s spooky as heck!

And yes, the grandchildren certainly do wrap themselves around our hearts. I’ve not seen mine in person in almost a year but I’ve been tutoring/enriching my grandsons for a couple of hours during the week on FaceTime and love it… exhausting though it can be.


Make that TWO years!


Margaret, does YD's boyfriend have a legitimate reason for being unvaccinated, or is it just a personal choice on his part? I'm sorry but I think if your daughter feels anger towards anyone, it should be him. Anyway, that is such good news about your mom and her pacemaker! I've been wondering about that since you first shared that story...


If boyfriend wants the freedom to choose a vaccine or not, then it should be allowed for others to have the freedom to not invite him into certain situations.


I'm not a big fan of the "othering" of people who choose to make different decisions on medical interventions for themselves than someone else. I've yet to see evidence of the vaccine saving anyone and in fact, the only people I've known who've gotten sick (and some very sick) the past 6 months or so have been the vaccinated (myself included). We should protect the elderly, immune compromised and those too frightened to go on living in the real world should stay home because look around and after TWO YEARS things are not better and it's not honest to blame/shame healthy, unnvaccinated people.

I know this isn't a popular opinion but between the vaccinated people and all of the millions!!! of people who have had covid and recovered, we should have some type of immunity by now but clearly something has gone terribly wrong with their "solution" to this problem or we would not have millions of cases a day of this new variant. We are not being protected. I think the mass vaccination program is adding to this continuous loop of new variants circulating the globe. None of it makes sense.


I can't understand YD's position. I do understand how she hurts not to be included or have her boyfriend included, but this is just common sense. Everybody should understand the situation by now. This Omicron is spreading like wildfire, and you are a caregiver of sorts to a very vulnerable person.


I'm sorry to hear about the situation with your daughter and her boyfriend.

Ally Bean

Well you know maybe boyfriend deserves to be treated like a pariah. It's not tricky to get the vaccinations and is in the best interest of all concerned. I have little sympathy, empathy, or tolerance for these anti-vaxers.


I agree with Karen. The people I know that have "it" have been double or triple vaxxed. It clearly does not keep people from getting the virus. Israel and Ireland are the most vaxxed countries and they have very high outbreaks. Also Connecticut - 95% and still very high numbers. The time for blaming the unvaxxed is over (in my opinion).

Tonya Watkins

I'm in the camp where Boyfriend deserves to be a pariah. It's because of the UNvaccinated that we are where we are right now. Grrrrr!

I am so happy to hear that your mom will be getting a new pacemaker! Jeesh! What an ordeal.


Hold on to your standard of care! I'm with Ed; boyfriend's choice to be unvaxxed comes with a lack of invitations. Yes, we have to protect the elderly, AND the unvaxable youngsters. For what you've gone through losing a husband, guess YD's not realizing that she could lose her boyfriend. Since I too have lost a husband in the past, I've been in tears hoping my son and his wife don't lose the other because of this evil virus, and they're both healthy and vaxxed! Not a part of parenting adult kids that I thought I'd ever have to think about!
Glad little grandson is around to provide some calm innocence to the chaos.
Have a nice dinner with John with just the two of you. You can wait to combine family with dinners when covid is over or safer.
I haven't heard of any "covid parties" where someone didn't get sick within 2 weeks. I wish the CDC had emphasized that covid is tiny, aerosolized, not just droplets, and can hang in the air for 3 freakin' hours! That's why an unknown carrier can walk down a hall, spewing the covid in the air, then someone else walks down the same hall and gets infected, much less gatherings!
Hope your Mom can get in and out with her new pacemaker! We used to keep them overnight. You may recall, folks aren't even totally knocked out for the switch, just local. Nowadays, they go home same day usually, but they may want to watch her and keep her attached to the EKG leads overnight. Just look closely at the incision sight post-procedure, (take a pic), and call them if it changes, swells up, gets redder, or she gets a fever. (I used to have this speech memorized as a cardiac nurse.)
Hang in there! Linda in Kansas


Your daughter is making her own choice by putting up with her boyfriend's crap. You have every right to protect yourself and your loved ones, especially your mom and grandson.


Damn it. I was hoping parenting got easier once they left the house.
Love the photos of you and and the grandson.
Totally adorable.
Hope your mom is able to get the pacemaker replacement as quickly as possible despite the circumstances.
And congrats on your grocery finds.
It has been weird seeing so many bare shelves lately at the store but we are living in some unusual times.
Take care and Happy New Year!!

Joanne Noagon

I looked at darling boy holding your hands for a long time. I'm out of that age to love, though some of them say thanks for the money. Here's another thumbs down Boyfriend; stand firm John.


I agree with the majority of people here. You are, without a doubt, right and can not risk exposing your mother and grandchild. Both are vulnerable. I hope your YD will come to understand this in time. A new pacemaker for your mother is such good news. This news made my day. I'm very happy for you both.


On January 7, 2022, both The Washington Post and the New York Times report that Connecticut has a double-dose vaccination rate of 75%. Don't spread false information.


Evidence of the efficacy of the vaccines is available in every major newspaper, conservative or liberal, across the land. Natural immunity or vaccine-enhanced immunity may not be as effective against new variants. Seasonal flu vaccines are developed each year when scientists determine which are the most probable strains that will be circulating in any given season. That is why flu vaccines are more effective in some years than in others. No vaccine promises immunity from a virus, only to mitigate the worst outcomes in most cases. I won't even ask you how you protect the elderly and immunocompromised from health care professionals who refuse to get vaccinated. I'll add that death is not the only poor outcome of this particular virus. There will likely be millions who will never recover from the damage done by covid, even if they survive intubation, ecmo, dialysis, heart attacks, strokes, etc., during their hospital stays. Long-term illness, followed by premature deaths, will drive up healthcare costs. Finally, I'm going to ignore your thoughts about the vaccination program being responsible for new variants. That's just stupid! Oh, one more thing. Margaret's house . . . Margaret's rules.

Pam Donaldson

Oh, it's much more difficult when they grow up! Our children aren't, nor ever were, difficult. But their spouses... well, can be a bit more problematical. Sympathy re unvacc BF!


I am so happy that your Mom is now in the queue!!!!! I will continue to hope and pray that she is able to get the replacement pacemaker quickly so she can feel better!!!!!

It is enormously hard about the boyfriend. It just flummoxes me about the anti-vaxer folks. Anyone who is eligible for the vaccine SHOULD get the vaccine for themselves and more importantly to help others! The commenter named “Karen” in the above just does not understand science nor specifically virology nor public health science. Of course folks who are vaccinated can and will get infected. In specifics about Omicron, it’s many mutations make the current vaccine less capable of gearing our Immune System to withstand the virus, but it IS able to help our Immune System be more capable to ramp up against Omicron. That is why fewer of the harshest symptoms affect the vaccinated. The current vaccine was designed for an earlier, less mutated variant. If we could remake the vaccine more specific to Omicron, it would be as effective as the current vaccine was/is to the original viral pathogen.

If we WANT to end the pandemic, we need to create a vaccine swiftly to the most current variant and globally vaccinate us all….. a daunting task to be sure….. but it could be done if we globally put our mind to it. In doing so, we could effectively squash the virus so that it would no longer replicate successfully and would die out. A damn hard task to be sure, and we will NEVER get there with the number of foolish anti-vaccine folks we have globally.

We ALSO need to keep vaccinating to protect the (relatively small) number of folks who, for true medical reasons cannot receive the vaccine.



Thank you so much for your comment which explains the situation from a scientific perspective. I've always been interested in science but am not a scientist like you! I appreciate the information because facts are important, in fact, literally lifesaving during a pandemic. Too many people are also ignoring what's happening globally which has an enormous impact--as we've seen from the spread of the variants.


Oh my, you probably don't need to hear my reaction to the poor boyfriend who is being left out over his choices. He is free to make his choices, but he has to accept the consequences in my view. You have the right to protect your mother and grandchild as best you can and I cannot understand anyone, especially your daughter since her grandmother is at risk, questioning that.

I'm very glad to hear that your mother will be getting her new pacemaker. The rules as explained before just sounded insane. I wish all of you well.


Covid definitely forces us into some uncomfortable situations. Hopefully your daughter will come around once she's thought about it a bit more. I love that colorful stripey onesie. I wonder if they come in my size?


Its a touchy situation for sure. You sure don't want to expose your mother or Johns family either.
Happy to read your mom is going to get her pace maker updated or replaced. Has to be a big relief for you and her too
Aren't grandchildren just the greatest? My last one is now 5 weeks old but he spent 9 days in 2 differnent hospitals a couple weeks ago when he was 2 1'2 weeks old.
He would quit breathing. They did an echo on him, a spinal tap, EEG, Cultured blood and everything camme back good and the nurses and one Dr said he presents like he
has reflux, and the last specailist was the ENT and his little flappers that are in the throat to close off the lungs when he breathes and the one for food arent flapping
right and they hope he will outgrow it or else its a "simple" surgery..yIkes. But he is doing well on the reflux medication. He goes today to the cities about 5 hours away
to Gilette heospital and has a sleep study tonight to check and see if he still stops breathing, Stephanie, my daughter doesn't think he's doing that anymore.
I had my 2 grandsons for 10 days while they were at the hospital with Bronx. Believe me, I wasn't on my computer at all, I was chasing the 17 month old :-)

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