Adjustments

I am incredulous to admit that Older Daughter turned 36 today. How did she (and I?) get so OLD?  It wasn't an entertaining birthday for her as it was spent on the road between Des Moines, Iowa and Deadwood, South Dakota. Little Guy is already sick of the trip "No more big drive!" and every time they stop for gas, he gets excited, "Mémé house!"  Unfortunately, they're still several days away if all goes smoothly. Fingers crossed! This photo depicts my girl in another life, boating in the Casamance of Senegal where she lived for many summers and then for a full year on a Fulbright. She did her PhD research there, made many close friends and loved much about her time in this country as a researcher. However, the pandemic helped her realize that the reality of traveling so extensively and being away from her loved ones wasn't what she wanted, not anymore. 

I'm very fortunate to have visited twice. Travel in such a different environment stretched my boundaries on just about everything from culture to bugs to hygiene. Yet although I'm terrified of motorcycles or taxi-motos (as they're called here) I managed--like I did with the chaotic open air markets, bucket showers, mosquito netted beds in huts, etc. 

She (and I) met some absolutely wonderful people, like Abdoulaye. I learned so much about Senegal and about myself. 

Now, these people are her world; does that mean that her horizons have shrunk...or have they actually expanded? For the first time in over ten years she'll be living back "home," in Washington and I hope the experience, both familiar and unfamiliar, will be everything (or mostly) what she's envisioned. 

By making her dad's potato salad for the road (mayo/Miracle Whip and mustard--plus eggs and potatoes), she reminded me that many traditions are passed down from generation to generation. That will be easier to do with both daughters living close! Although I have nothing prepared for their arrival nor am I sure what to do with Mari(eek!), it will all work out somehow. 

I'm hoping to pass on our love of outdoor activities and eventually croquet and Bocce to Grandson. I no longer have a barbeque grill, but we can still have potlucks and game nights with friends and family. It'll be a weirdly wonderful dynamic to be in each other's lives on a more day to day basis. 

Having a gigantic mountain, lots of trees and lakes (plus an ocean!) in their backyard will be different for them. I hope they adapt easily and like their "new" state as much as I'll love having them here. 

 

 

Comments

[Jenni Elyse]

I don't know how you can't love it there. Mt. Rainier is gorgeous and the water just makes it better. You get the best of both worlds like I said in my last comment. Plus, the more liberal political leanings has me SOOOOOOOO jealous.

[Doug M]

Wow, those are some really cool photos Margaret. I remember you sharing your daughter's travels before, and your visit there but the pictures are awesome. Well, 36 sounds pretty young to me and you're more active than many people I know so don't go aging yourself just yet! Gee, I'm so excited for them to move into their new house! 🙂👍👍

[Arkansas Patti]

I know how you feel. I have never moaned about my age but hate it when my nieces and nephews reach a milestone year. Can't be possible.
Your daughter has had an interesting past and I hope the US hasn't changed so much for the worse in the 10 years she was gone--though I have been right here and am shocked.
Lucky she is going to such a forward thinking state.

[sillygirl]

You don't play petanque? There is a league in Seattle and one in Edmonds - my husband plays.

[Susan]

Your daughter continues to traverse life beautifully. Wonderful travel experiences make the person and she (and you) have done some amazing and exotic travel. Washington State is scenic and has much to offer to a young family moving in to their new beautiful home. From my point-of-view they are doing everything right. Plus, if they determine something must change, they can make a change. This is a very happy and exciting time for you and your family. Having everybody close is ideal.

[Ed]

Is there any other way to make potato salad? That was a rhetorical question and why I don’t like many of the potato salads I try but I’m sure I would like that of your late husband and daughter because they make it the same way I do.

[StoicWannabe]

She's very adventurous, and I love her bohemian style. That potato salad looks TOO good. Drooling. That's the way my mom made it, except for the addition of some radish and celery. When I've tried to buy it in the store, it's just mush. Maybe just one of those things you must make at home for it to be right. Large chunks of potatoes--yes!

[Pam]

It'll be lovely!

Gosh, there are strange and frightening things going on in your country at the moment... But your little corner of it looks wonderful.

[Joanne Noragon]

Croquet and bocce are the bomb! When we moved here thirty odd years ago, no one in the neighborhood played either. We rectified that, and played a lot of hysterical and amusing games in our front yard. That was the secret of hooking all six neighbors.

[AC]

Oh, I have a lot of confidence that that girl will adapt and manage very well.

But we need to have a heart-to-heart about potato salad which should be well mashed and not at all lumpy. And whatever you are about to say in your defence is already wrong.

😀🥸😎😇

[Tonya Watkins]

I think I can say that potatoes are my favorite food, since there is SO MUCH you can do with it and it's all different and delicious. Mmm. Potatoes would be my desert island go-to. However. I have NEVER liked potato salad. I cannot bear it. Mushy or chunky. Just ew.

I'm so excited for the kids' imminent arrival! It will be SOON!! "No more big drive!" LOL

[Pixie]

I've got you beat, my son is thirty-eight, although he's more like a five year old.

When we took Jack to the mountains for three days, every day he would say, "We go home now?".

It will be nice for you to have your daughter and grandson so close but you sound almost nervous. How come?

[DrumMajor Linda in Kansas]

OD's first pic above looks like it's from a Renaissance painting. I'm confused: what do you have to "do" with Mari, just because the New Yorkers are moving 20 minutes from your house? Are you trading Mari for your grandson? She should hopefully get used to their visits. She might even snuggle up with him when he visits overnight. Linda in Kansas

[Karen Sullivan]

I'm so excited for you to have them living close!

[Steve]

It will be great to have them nearby! The minute I saw that top photo of your daughter, I thought, "That looks like Africa!" (Admittedly, her outfit helped!) I've traveled in West Africa so it's familiar to me.

[Musings]

You are really brave, Margaret. I never went to Mali when our son was there. Art went in January while I was back in Illinois teaching. He did come home and tell me about those bucket baths and hole in the floor toilets. I'm afraid I really like my creature comforts. Your daughter is a chip off the ol' block.