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August 08, 2022


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DrumMajor Linda in Kansas

Pretty flowers for your cemetery visit. Those look like sturdy hiking shoes. Your neighborhood can't be too boring with all of the flowers, views, and snow-capped mountains. Try Kansas; it's flat, boring with no hills. Linda in Kansas


When we visited my mom's parents, my grandmother, mom and I - and sometimes an aunt or two - would go to the old cemetery where her parents and some of her 13 sibilings were buried. She would tell us of the babies who died and the other aunts and uncles. We took flowers and I wandered around the cemetery finding headstones with no death dates - of people who would be a couple hundred years old. There wasn't anything scary or even that solemn about it. It was remembering and stories of life.

I love new shoes. Especially new white sneakers.


I don’t think that I have ever taken flowers to a cemetery. Indeed, I have scarcely visited. When we left out last home in ’05, I did visit my parents plot to say a sort of goodbye. I can appreciate that the physical visit helps us to focus our thoughts and memories for a short while.

Arkansas Patti

Like your Dad, I can see where the visits are for the living. It lets us for a moment to feel like we are in their sphere and to feel their presence with lovely memories.
So glad you did that for your Mom. Hydrangeas and roses are the perfect flowers.


Cemeteries can be incredibly interesting places to wander through, especially those with sections that are very old. They are often like mini history lessons. I'm sure your mom appreciated you going along with her. I have given very specific instructions to my kids regarding post-death. No cemeteries involved. Hope the weekly activities are going well.


Visiting the cemetery is cathartic. Stirring both happy and sad times of the past. Your mother asking to visit the cemetery and your willingness and support to make this happen is very loving. Your new hiking shoes look perfect for long walks and hikes. You seem to have a great fitness routine for maintaining good health and wellness. Also, your Mom looks terrific in the photo.

Jenni Elyse

After my mom passed away, my dad would visit her grave once a week when he live an hour away. Then, he moved just up the street from the cemetery and visited her grave every day until he was no longer able. My mom would've told him to stop if she were alive, but it brought him so much comfort to be able to visit her. I'm sad that now that he's gone, no one is showing him the same devotion. :/

Karen Sullivan

Such a beautiful photo of your mom at your Dad's resting place. May they all rest in peace.

Joanne Noragon

Nice of you to go with your mother, to watch out for her.


For some reason, everyone in my immediate family hates cemeteries but me. I find them quite comforting for some reason, thinking about all the lives they contain. I don't know what that signals if anything.

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Book Club Reads

  • Perkins-Valdez, Dolen: Take My Hand

    Perkins-Valdez, Dolen: Take My Hand
    This beautifully written and intricate book is my first 5 (or 4 1/2) star read for quite a while. It was powerful and filled with fascinating and well-developed characters. I even liked the ending! Jumping between two time periods isn't my favorite style, but the author handled it masterfully. (*****)

  • Haigh, Jennifer: Mercy Street: A Novel

    Haigh, Jennifer: Mercy Street: A Novel
    4 for the writing which was excellent, and 4 for the characters who were interesting and well-developed. 2 for the non-existent plot. The ending of the book left me extremely dissatisfied. Sadly, there are no discussion questions for it which might force me to reflect on the book's messages. (***)

  • Slocumb, Brendan: The Violin Conspiracy

    Slocumb, Brendan: The Violin Conspiracy
    A solid 3 1/2 stars for me, but a disappointment in general. As a former violinist myself, I was excited about the topic. I love mysteries which was what this novel was billed as. (not much of one and very predictable) I found the writing sophomoric and rather repetitive; the topics of slavery and underrepresentation of POC in classical music were compelling though. As always, I'm hoping for an excellent discussion at BC. (***)

  • Tyler, Anne: French Braid: A novel

    Tyler, Anne: French Braid: A novel
    I can see why some might not enjoy this book (not much plot), but I liked Tyler's writing, the complexity of the characters and the storytelling. Families are like a French Braid; you can never really be free of them since "the ripples are crimped in forever." I'm hoping our BC discussion will be enlightening and personal. (***)

  • See, Lisa: The Island of Sea Women: A Novel

    See, Lisa: The Island of Sea Women: A Novel
    Although it wasn't perfect (sometimes hard to follow the timelines), this book was fascinating on a personal, historical and cultural level. I learned so much while suffering through the tragedies and celebrating the joys of the characters. I'm hoping for an insightful discussion at Book Club, as this novel deserves. (*****)

  • Whitehead, Colson: Harlem Shuffle: A Novel

    Whitehead, Colson: Harlem Shuffle: A Novel
    Extremely well-written, atmospheric and full of fascinating characters and history. Being a mystery reader, I would have preferred more plot though. If you haven't read Whitehead before, I recommend "The Nickel Boys" instead. Fortunately, the book seems like it will elicit a decent discussion. (****)

  • Klune, TJ: The House in the Cerulean Sea

    Klune, TJ: The House in the Cerulean Sea
    This book was hard to rate (***1/2): heartwarming, yet cheesy and predictable. Imaginative, but also preachy. It reads like a YA novel. There were some wonderful characters if you enjoy fantasy. I think it will be nearly impossible to discuss as a Book Club read. (***)

  • Towles, Amor: The Lincoln Highway: A Novel

    Towles, Amor: The Lincoln Highway: A Novel
    This is a exquisitely crafted book and extremely well-written. I didn't always like the way it jumped from one person to another, especially when I was very engaged in the last story. It didn't turn out the way I wanted it to, but the ending was also beautiful in its own painful way. 4 1/2 stars. (*****)

  • Wang, Qian Julie: Beautiful Country: A Memoir

    Wang, Qian Julie: Beautiful Country: A Memoir
    Although it had some fascinating and illuminating moments, this memoir of a young Chinese immigrant facing poverty and prejudice was ultimately a let down. Part of it was the writing and lack of proofreading(too many grammar mistakes) while the rest related to my confusion about whether I admired or disliked the author. She was often mean and dishonest. Much of the time I didn't find her sympathetic. (***)

  • Pooley, Clare: The Authenticity Project: A Novel

    Pooley, Clare: The Authenticity Project: A Novel
    A solid 3 1/2 stars--I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it. It felt like a beach read with a bit more depth to it. Still it was often predictable and wasn't particularly well written. (***)