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August 05, 2022

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Kathy

Sorry about your colleague - he looks like a nice man. What does John's house look like, if he is continually acquiring other people's stuff; does he have an outbuilding to store all his "treasures" until he can sell them? Honestly, that seems like a really boring and time consuming hobby but each to their own, I guess?

Debbie

Again, I am so very sorry about the loss of a dear friend. I am glad though that we had the time to talk and mull over issues. I know you will find your way and make wise choices that are correct all around. Enjoy the beauty of the drive tomorrow. That aspect should be glorious!

Maureen

Yes, isn't life such a mixed up mess of joy, difficulty, sorrow, and beauty? They've all been coming at me with no warning or pattern - I'm just riding the waves as they come. It's exhaustingly beautiful and I try to remain grateful. It's nice to know others are working through the P's too.

DrumMajor Linda in Kansas

So sorry about your friend. Genetics may have played a part with his health. Yep, just keep rolling your eyes. Worse case scenario: he goes to auctions daily, and can't afford to feed himself or afford dates with you. Hopefully it won't get that extreme. Sounds like organized hoarding that probably won't affect his finances. Enjoy the view; you might end up taking one of those side trips with him that have been interesting. Linda in Kansas

Musings

It's so sad to lose friends and relatives. I guess I'm of the age now when that starts to happen but it's still a shock. I've lost too many of those loved ones during this pandemic and still can't believe they're gone.

Estate sale obsession? Hmmm... We sure did use to love to go to them as well as garage sales. Not anymore though. We're now at that time of life when we have to get rid of things despite the fact that you-know-who (name starts with A) doesn't want to.

AC

You do seem to lead a varied and interesting life with your family and friends. I am not sure what to think or ay about John’s compulsion, but it does seem to have become a compulsion. I guess it isn’t hurting anyone, though.

DougM

Margaret, I'm so sorry about your old friend Greg. That's a nice photo of him too, a kind, friendly face. I think I've read the 'John part' of your blog 3 times now, what a conundrum. There's not many men I say I'm fond of, but I'm fond of John. At the same time, this is still a red flag, maybe I've seen too many Hoarders episodes. I think there will have to be some hard lines drawn here.

Arkansas Patti

So sorry about the loss of Greg. He sounds like he was a loyal friend.
As for John, some men just need purpose, especially after they retire. Hopefully he has a place to store all these things.

Susan

I am sorry for your loss. A life suddenly cut short is always sad. Life is full of choices and compromises chosen. The estate sales seem to be important to John. He also seems to want you to join in. You have some choices here. Possibly you identify things you both enjoy together and then agree that estate sales are not for you. Compromise.

Joanne Noragon

I am so sorry for Greg's passing. He seems a lovely man and certainly too young to have left the world.
As for John, I sure would leave the topic alone, unless he digs down to know why you turn him down on his excursions. You seem to enjoy so many other adventures together, bicycling, hiking, repairs you let him do, etcetcetc. This seems one you can beg off on. It's still his problem to sort.

StoicWannabe

I'm sorry about your friend. He had a very friendly face.

If John is collecting this stuff as a means to an end--reselling it, gifting it, using it for something--I'd be less concerned, but it sounds like he's just filling his house with stuff just because. Could be a problem for sure.

Karen Sullivan

Sorry to hear of the death of your former colleague.

I think I would simply let John be John and do his estate sale thing and not let it bother me. Maybe it fills some need in him and it seems pretty harmless as far as "hobbies" go!

Jenni Elyse

I'm sorry to hear about your colleague. I'm like you in that I can be friends with people who have different views and politics than me, but I'd never be able to be in an intimate relationship. When you're friends, you can agree not to discuss certain topics so there are no hurt feelings. But, in an intimate relationship, you need to be able to express all your views and that wouldn't work as well if you were always disagreeing with controversial issues. I think that's why, like you said, you can talk about specific things with different friends and some are more understanding than others.

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